Rocker Babe Loves Her Patterned Tampons

Apparently, it's important to have patterns on Tampons. And that fact seems to be important enough to get this rocker babe to jam on the rooftop. Whatever. Stranger things have been know to inspire musicians.

'Montauk Monster' A Viral Stunt?

Gawker is following the "Montauk Monster" story involving some freakish monster which seemingly washed ashore and has Gawker surmising it's a marketing stunt. The thing looks like a pig/dog/bird/chicken thing and, according to a FOX news report featuring Animal Planet's Jeff Corwin who thinks it's just a decomposed dog or raccoon. Gawker also did some photoshop analysis and the photo, itself is fake.

The story's got everything. Accusations Gawker invented it. A 22 year old waiter who claims he saw the "monster." A tipster who told New York Magazine, "My girlfriend's sister was there with her friends and one of them took the picture." It's a turtle without its shell! It's an alien! It's a viral marketing campaign for Cartoon Network. Ooo...hey, those guys have done that shit before.

Anyway, it's just a stupid stunt from some dweeb who's now laughing at the news media for giving it all this coverage.

Obama Ascends to Stardom, Enfatico Falters, Good Good Goes Bad, method Makes Salad

- McCain puts Obama on the same "soar high, fall hard" platform as Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. Probably because they're the only celebrities he knows. I like how the ad cuts to happy floaty music and a soft McCain profile. What a guy.

- See Microsoft-paid blogger give transparency a go for the i'm talkathon. Yeah. You heard me. Transparency.

- Enfatico's having trouble with that whole "being creative" thing.

- method products: so much more than hand syrups and toilet bowl cleaners. Think of them as a summer salad that doesn't know how to capitalize proper nouns.

- TiVo says relevant ads don't get skipped.

- Wendy's cutesy "good good" ad is objectively disgusting.

It's Hard to Swing Camp if You're Part of the Joke.

Hoping to tap into disdain for cheesy film cliches, Sprint chose Union Editorial to refine a set of movie trailer-style spots. The star? Sprint Instinct.*

In "Launch," a couple outruns cops in a high-impact car chase. Mr. Man looks stressed; meanwhile, Wifey buys a handbag on her phone and has it sent to their hideout -- leading the captors right to them.

In "Romance," one woman wants it all -- not from a man, but from her carrier -- as friends beg her to be more realistic.

Here's another dubbed "Horror," and one just for theaters ("Cinema"). We saw it before The Dark Knight and it totally chafed our pop sensibilities.

If you're feeling deja-vu (in addition to that mild burning sensation), it's for a reason. To promote its Scarlet TVs, LG did more with the same campy idea.

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Maybe It's a Think Piece on Life

Somebody sent us a link to El Lobo Rojo, an online video series that's airing all summer long.

Mostly it's just random shit, sort of like SickAnimation except nobody has a penis for a head, and nothing is funny. A guy sets his fake mustache on fire. Then some dude gets fired for not removing his tattoos. And then the prick that fires him sits around, talking schizophrenic nonsense through a promotional poster for The Love Guru.

If this is all we have to look forward to, please bring Dr. Horrible back.

Work with Google. Then Let Google Work You, You Sexy Sexy Manhunk.

Under "From" name "Work with Google," Cassabananawide.com is pushing the following spam-tastic email pitch: "Have you heard? People are using their computers to make $1,000's every week with Google!" The headline is flanked by the glowing image of a blonde giving an ecstatic male laptop-junkie a shoulder massage.

I love how it says "No product required" right next to an image of the software container, which features a prominent Google logo and that same picture of the girl giving a massage. What's that all about?

The call to action: "Yes please rush me my Google happy ending software!"

Think Sex with a Condom Blows? Try Swimming in One

Chinese condom maker Elasun is using the Beijing Olympics to push a naughty set of sports-themed ads over the 'net. Neat tagline: "Sports make you health." Line of fortune cookies in the works?

More here. But if you don't click, at least look at the basketball one, because it's, oh, priceless.

Girl Gets Hot and Dirty to Illustrate Cleanliness

There are those who are obsessive about cleanliness. There are those who have a tongue fetish. And then there are brands. Rarely, if ever, do the three entwine. Until now. Courtesy of this branded YouTube video comes something that is simultaneously sexy and gross...not to mention very weird.

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Cause Groups to Transform Ad Industry, Simpler Days Ahead

Son: Dad, what's that?

Dad: It's an ad.

S: But it just looks like a plain piece of paper.

D: No, it's an ad.

S: Well what's it an ad for?

D: I 'm not sure but I know it's an ad.

S: How do you know?

D: Because there's nothing offensive about it.

S: So ads can't be offensive?

D: Oh no. Not at all. And that's how I know it's an ad.

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You Know You Wanna Be a Super Masher

Serena Software launched a Facebook super group to promote its business Mashup Composer. Check out the row of enterprise-chic Super Mashers. No hipsters here, except maybe for Mascara Man in far left beside Token Polo Guy. But hey, bet you can't tell which one ISN'T REAL.

"Before long, you'll be seeing just how easy it is to @#$% it (or mash it) with Serena Software."

What the hell's "@#$%"? Is that cog-talk for "mash"?