Clarins Paris Nails the Perfect Way to Illustrate Lift.

We were dropping someone off at the Charles de Gaulle airport last week when this gigantic image dwarfed us at the check-in line.

Questions of imminent discomfort aside, we were forced to admit that bare ass on a bike seat is probably the best way to plug lotion that lifts.

Seriously, though. Can you think of a better comparison?

Well At Least Granny Isn't Pissing On A Test Diaper Here

Many brands use analogies to help explain their product features and benefits. Even makers of diapers for grownups. But seriously, WTF? Touting the new line of Depends by comparing the fact they're different to the fact men drive differently than women and commentary on who rules the world; men or women?

Relatable? Yes. Lame? Definitely.

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Giant Orange Balls Are Coming

Hey, that's all the information we have for you. Except for the image which clearly screams Cheetos. Perhaps a new product is ready and we can expect even more Cheetos advertising oddity. Time will tell. Be patient. It will come.

McDonald's Coffee Helps Dad Show the Love

OK, can you say forced? Yes you can. It's easy. First you elude to the fact your daughter is or isn't on the hockey team with the rest of the boys. Then, when she asks, "Dad, do you wish I was a boy?", you pull out some lame hockey references and deliver them with the demeanor of a guy making excuses to his girlfriend for blowing off their date last night.

And then, for the money shot, you quick cut to a close up of a McDonald's coffee cup...and OMFG...deliver the killer line, "If you were a boy, who'd be my little girl?"

Amazing what a cup of friggin' coffee can do for tongue-tied men of the world.. Thanks for sharing, Cossette.

New LG Technology Removes Unpleasantries from Television

What do you get when you combine a keynote with some new technology from LG? This ridiculous video highlighting the company's new language filtering, happy time feature and cartooner. Right. Funny. Sort of. But definitely different.

Creative Director to Eat Shorts if Agency Doesn't Win Solar Energy Account

We've seen all manner of antics from agencies vying for accounts but we really like this one from Boston's Captains of Industry. In a video, Founder and Creative Director Ted Page sits down to tell inform us if his agency doesn't win a solar energy account in 2009, he will literally eat his shorts on camera and post the video to YouTube.

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There is Something Wrong with this Picture.

You tell us when you've figured out what's so intimate about letting MySpace users orchestrate, then monitor, one of the most important days of your life.

The web series is casting for couples now. URL: www.myspace.com/marriedonmyspace, but it keeps redirecting to MySpace.com. Lucky lovebirds can expect to be exploited, pampered, dressed and coddled by the Zeitgeist across 13 episodes leading up to the big day.

Campaign Asks Us to Envision Our Own End

Have you ever pictured your own funeral? Not a pretty thought, right? Well that's what Holland funeral company Monuta, with help from THEY, is asking people to do. (Spots here and here) And, of course, the two funerals envision in the two commercial are, well, somewhat elaborate. Why? Because simple funeral don't make funeral companies a lot of money.

Oh you think we are being crass? Well yes we are. Sorry. We just feel that way right now. And, besides, what's wrong with a cardboard box. It's just a body. The soul is already gone, right?

Stare at This Empty Bed And Tell Us What You See

Um..what the what, what? Are we missing something here? We're all for a good cause but we've looked at this Chi & Partners-created ad for the UK's Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation for quite some time and all we see is an empty bed.

OK, so yes, we get that the empty bed signifies a person who's no longer with us but, really, this add is so clinical it could be for a hospital bed manufacturer.

Could we have a headline? Tagline? Some heart string pulling copy?

Or are we just too stupid to grasp the simplicity of this message? Yea, it's probably that.

Extreme Sheep, Pong and Classical Art. What Else Do You NEED?

London's The Viral Factory just hit us upside our delicate craniums with "Extreme Sheep LED Art." You may not be able to wrap your brain around that right away, but it's exactly what it sounds like.

The video, a promotion for Samsung's LED line, is equal parts hilarious, a brainfuck and painful to watch -- painful because it's long and about sheep, a brainfuck because the sheep are being (EXTREME!) shepherded in such a way that they reproduce high art (sort of), and funny because THEY PLAY PONG. USING THE SHEEP.

Grand in its unyielding over-the-toppiness -- brought extreme fishing to mind for a sec -- and reviews on YouTube have been favorable. As always you've got the more eloquent members of the human race arguing over whether or not this was "enhanced" -- or demonstrating superiority with their absolute certainty: "fake as hell."

(*shakes head sadly*)

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