A Girl. A Guy. A Horse. A Boat. A Whip. A Chain. Yea, It's Diesel

The girl is hot. The guy is not. Shades of Twin Peaks. A nod to Planet of the Apes. A hint of S&M. A dash of whack. A little sex and some quivering legs.

Yes, it's a weird-ass Diesel commercial that looks like a scene out of Lost Highway.

Thanks, Bill, for distracting us from other unfortunate matters, today.

Massad Hits Its Readers Where They Like It

To generate buzz for Netherlands-based S&M rag Massad, agency New Message enlisted dour-faced porn star Sofia Valentine to wander fetish parties and brand ass, The Story of O-style.

The so-called "spankvertising whip" -- an apt expression if I ever heard one -- looks suspiciously like a cricket bat but leaves pert white derrieres branded with "Massad, the SM Magazine."

Short and to the point. Sort of like pain. See it in action.

MSFT: All Up in Everybody's Business, for Almost No Reason at All.

Remember Clearification, that neurotic but sometimes-funny Vista effort featuring Demetri Martin? Microsoft revisits hipster animation and irreverent anecdota with a JWT-developed ad dubbed "Because it's everybody's business."

According to GM-Advertising Gayle Troberman at Microsoft, the "I'm a PC" campaign was about "creating a 'vibe'" to "define our brand for consumers," whereas this spot is all about "showing business people the real value they can achieve with technology."

Yeah, good luck with that. Quiksilver President/CEO Bob McKnight justifies the ad's papier mache-style surfer imagery with use of his voice; and while nothing he says is truly memorable, I recall him comparing tsunamis to business. Then some rolled-up dollar wads with sheep heads traipsed across my screen.

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President Bush Helps Veet Say Goodbye To a Different Kind of Bush

Body grooming company Veet, like everyone else, is taking advantage of President Bush leaving office with a cheeky newspaper ad which read, "Goodbye Bush." Simple. Effective. And, as they'd say over there, "spot on" strategy.

This Robot Doesn't Commit Suicide. It Brings Joy (We Think)

OK it's not the GM suicide robot but watching this SantaClaraNitro-created commercial for Eldorado Shopping Center and listening to its soundtrack from Made of Chalk, leaves one with an eerie feeling. Are we supposed to feel bad for the robot? Is the robot real or a toy? How did the robot get on the desk? How (and why) did it get small? And, what, what, what does a lonely robot have to do with shopping?

And, yea. We know the robot is on his way to the guy as a gift. But still.

Hey, Dover. Is That Your Life Savings, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

At Philly International this week, I found this weird ad for Delaware's department of tourism. The running theme is "keep it in your jeans!", which at first sight would appear to be the yang philosophy to Levi's recent "unbutton your beast" endeavor.

Oddly, though, the message isn't to keep your monster man-wad at bay. It's an invitation for tourists to ... save ... money.

Anything For A Kiss

Thank God there are a lot of different cultures in this world. And that those cultures have their own unique standards, sense of humor and style of advertising. Otherwise, we wouldn't have this oddity from Japan in which a love struck boy fantasizes about kissing his dream girl.

Coke Brings Strange Love to Library

OK. Let's analyze this new Coke commercial, part of the new Wieden + Kennedy-created Open Happiness campaign. Two teens. Sitting in a library. Flirting. Drawing images of Coke bottles, ice and a glass on their skin.

They touch. And there's fluid transfer! Yes, fluid transfer. Right in the middle of the library.

Strange love, indeed. Oh the multiple meanings that emanate from this!

This, along with several other spots including a new Happiness commercial, will debut tonight on American Idol. Some of these commercial will also air during the Super Bowl.

Strange. Illogical. Fun. Introducing New Minnesota Lottery Ads

Bizarre and obtuse. Two words that aptly describe these new commercial from Colle+McVoy for the Minnesota State Lottery. Even weirder is the fact the same actors play differing parts in the six commercials. But it's nice to see the familar face of the convenience store clerk from the original campaign.

Quirky. Weird. Odd.

Give them a watch.

Ain't No One Buyin' A Pizza Pop After Viewing These Commercials

We're quite sure most people would agree the general purpose of a commercial is to get people to buy something. After viewing these four commercials from Cossette Communications Toronto for Pillsbury Pizza Pops, we're also quite sure the last thing anyone would want to do is go out and buy a Pillsbury Pizza Pop.

If there were ever a more disgusting way to represent the appetizing qualities of a food item, we are at a loss to think of anything.

Robot. Monkeys. Deer. Karate.

OK, we'll admit they're kinda funny. Still.