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Dating Event Promoted With Blowjob Video Well here's an interesting way to promote a dating event. Singapore blogger Peggy Heng, a model and celebrity blogger of sorts in the city, created a four minute video about the trials and tribulations of dating. The video progresses to a scene in which Heng in about to give a face painted man a blow job but just before she begins, she stops, turns to the camera and says, "But that is not the way to solve relationship problems." Torture Porn Used in Road Safety Ad Jesus! Don't watch this rail safety commercial unless you are a fan of those Saw movies. While the ad doesn't go so far as display the graphic torture porn gore the movie series did, you'll still feel a bit...um...torn apart after viewing this ad from the Government of South Australia. In the ad, we are informed a train's engine has over 1,000 horsepower. The visuals remind us of that with a thousand horses running in four different directions building up speed to pull what's at the end of their ropes. The result will not be pretty. The message? Think about that before you cross the tracks. Sir Edwin Horsham Bests Stork With Pickle Escapades If you were in you local grocery store minding your own business, walking the aisles for your grocery needs and suddenly you saw a man on a bobsled racing through the store, your first reaction might be to call the loony bin and have the man put away. Your second thought - because you are a hip, astute person who has been jaded with marketing buffoonery over the years - would be to say, "Oh, right. That's Sir Edwin Horsham, the Claussen pickle guy who captures unsuspecting shoppers and takes them on journeys to...the Claussen pickle section." The campaign, created by The Escape Pod for Kraft has been out since June. There are three episodes to far. The first one has garnered over one million views. You can view all three below. An if you've ever compared Claussen pickles to Vlassis, you know Claussen wins, hands, down, every time. So we tip our hat to Sir Edwin Horsham and laud his superiority over that soggy stork. French Fashion Brand Unveils Lingerie for (Very) Young Girls By now you have certainly heard about French lingerie company Jours Apres Lunes and their campaign hyping lingerie for girls four to twelve. Yes, you read that right. Lingerie for girls 4-12. Now maybe this is all perfectly fine since its the French we're talking about and if stereotypes are to be believed, the French are all about romance, love and sex. But for four year olds? In America, we call that perverted. The brand is touting the line as "the first designer brand dedicated to 'loungerie' for children and teenagers, comprised of loungewear and lingerie to be worn over and under, inside and outside." As you might expect, we're big fans of women in lingerie. But the key word in that statement is "women." And until a girl is 18, she is not a woman in our book and should not be prancing around in lingerie. Check out images from the line here and let us know what you think. Ladies, Take A Shave-Cation Ladies, ever worry about unsightly stubble during bikini season...or any season for that matter? Well, it seems, Schick has the solution for you. And it's so good you can even take a day off from shaving that all important bikini line. In fact, you can take a...Shave-cation. Yes, a Shave-cation. All courtesy of the new Schick Quattro for Women. But wait a minute. Something's not right here. Gillette offers up five blades. Why does Sschick only give women four? We smell a conspiracy here! Velveeta Does Hamburger Helper Apart from the product's similarities to Hamburger Helper and the commercial's similarities to the Old Spice campaign, we guess Wieden + Kennedy has put an acceptable new spin on selling people Liquid Coronary...uh...excuse us...Liquid Gold, otherwise known as Velveeta cheese. In these new commercials, which pimp Velveeta Cheesy Skillets, we have a blacksmith type, played by Lost character David S. Lee, which WK has borrowed heavily from the Isiah Mustafa Old Spice character to create. The man is all knowing when it comes to the fine art of creating easy-to-prepare, horribly unhealthy meals lazy parents can serve their families. Balls Horrified, Drunk Monkeys Sober, Beer Sculpted - Be careful when you pick up your next bowling ball. It might stare back at you with the menacing eyes of a decapitated head. - If you find your friend drunk at a party, be sure to split her in half. Or something like that. - Newcastle Brown Ale has found a use for bottle caps. It's constructed a 256 square foot shadow sculpture out of 3,000 bottle caps. - And speaking of Newcastle, here's that installation in San Diego everyone's talking about. Adidas Delivers Panty Shot in Mini Skirt Showdown This is pretty strange. Then again, it's from Japan. Which, with its obsession with anything and everything to do with placing cute girls in compromising positions, makes it totally normal. Here we have adizero vs. Mini Skirt, a challenge to determine, well, we really don't know what. That the wind from a guy running with Adidas sneakers can whip up a girls skirt so you can see her panties? Yes, only in Japan. We can thanks TBWA\Hakuhodo for this oddity which, as Japanese oddities go, is pretty tame. If You Waste Water, You Are weird Thank God we don't have to witness yet another idiotic PSA about the importance of saving water. Aside from the fact it's a renewable resource and three quarters of the earth is covered with it, we're sick of being preached to like wasteful sloths who could care less about economizing on anything. Oh wait. Bundaberg Rum Still Blowing Things Up This is, by far, the strangest spirits ad we have ever seen. EVAR. It comes to us from none other than Bundaberg rum, the company that "blew up" an alligator and then apologized for not actually blowing up an alligator. Created by Leo Burnett Sydney and directed by Tom Kuntz, the commercial mirrors (mocks?) an 80's music video. In the spot, we see a dweebish twenty something walk into a bar looking for a drink. As he approaches the bar, a bartender in a white tux opens up a door between his crotch and offers up a tour of the Bundaberg world. Over the top is an understatement. The fantastically goofy song was written by Leo Burnett creatives.. 
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