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Abandoned Carts Have Feelings Too. Also, They Talk. Also, This Guy's INSANE. Why would you abandon a shopping cart? Do you like raising their hopes and dashing them? Did someone once abandon you? Or is your heart cast entirely out of ice? Cart whisperer Liberty Fillmore wants to know. Watch as he guides estranged metal baskets back into the sunshine and absorbs the therapy bills that, by all rights, YOU should be paying. Oh, if Mother could see you now. Coke Brings Out Your Inner Egalitarian ... and If We Were You, We'd Stuff it Back In The ads are French and they debut on the 26th of this month. The tagline: "Avec Coca-Cola, on parle tous football," which translates to something like "With Coca-Cola, everyone speaks football," which is a roundabout way of saying Coca-Cola makes football buddies of unlikely pairs. That's sweet and all. But we wouldn't embrace a brain-eating dead guy, or a head-smashing toy, or a displaced octopus for any refreshing beverage. If that's prejudice then we are guilty as charged, and happy to be thirsty. Claussen Pickles Quench Oral Desires If you prefer things stiffly erect and throbbing with fullness rather than things that are flaccidly limp and not up for anything fun then, according to this ad, Claussen is your brand of pickle. Why mess with a tired, spent pickle when you can have one that's ready to forcefully explode in your mouth with an orgasm of juicy flavor quenching your desire for spunky girth? Giant Tidal Wave of Soap Suds Floods Streets of Miami Hmm. Is this tidal wave of soap suds in downtown Miami the beginning of yet another Sony Balls, Paint or Bunnies? Who knows. It could be anything. iJustine Examines 'Cultural Divide' Between Geeks and Music Fans This is hilarious. So last week, lots of people were in Austin for SXSW which is is three events in one: an interactive conference, a film festival and a music festival. During the first half of the week the film crowd and the internet geeks descend. After the geeks leave mid-week and the music fans arrive, the city takes on an entirely different vibe. Cleavage and Mushrooms Make You Feel Fungtastic! We've seen hundreds of ads with hot looking women in them. We've seen hundreds of ads which make us scratch our head and exclaim, "WTF!?!?!" We haven't seen many that mash both together but we're pleased to bring you this ad for Nila Sliced Mushrooms courtesy of Flickr user simonclare. One part pulchritudinous cleavage. One part Fungtastic headline. One part come hither and stick your throbbing member between my huge breasts until you fill this can with your uncontrollable lust look. And you've got the perfect "WTF was that but it sure felt good" ad. One Year of Standby No Good? How About 666 Days? Claim the I-Coloured Mobile ZJ268 today for the low price of $128 and your soul. Goodby Gives 'Got Milk' Tenacious D Treatment So this is what what it takes now to sell milk. Yup. Goofy videos that are knock offs of other goofy videos (movies? bands?). For Got Milk, Goodby Silverstein & Partners offers up One Gallon Axe, a rock band video that, well, you just have to watch it to truly appreciate its weirdly odd goodness. What Ho! Your Breath Smells Like Rhino Poo. This is only marginally disgusting. Also, it's a promotion for "Test Your Breath," a campaign for Scope by the charmers at Dentsu and Crush. Test your toxicity -- er, breath -- at the website. Here's our big question: why does the guy in the elevator know what rhino shit smells like? Even even if somebody's breath did smell like rhino shit, our heads wouldn't immediately go there because we lack the appropriate frame of reference. We'd be like, "Ooh. Stale bacon mixed with carcass of month-old monkey fetus." Because you know, we deal with that stuff in everyday life. Burger King Jacks Off Your Morning Tongue With Cheesy Tots Ah yes, that occasionally embarrassing morning moment when you find yourself (if you're a guy) tenting your sheets with no way to hide the fact you're sprung. Either due to that early morning dream about the hot girl you saw on Flickr and are now having sex with in your mind...or the serious need to take a piss, morning wood is something all guys have to deal with from time to time. 
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