Cure Cancer, Create Your Own Cock

As a follow up to the testicular cancer-focused Notice Your Nuts, the humorously-named London agency Poke London has created another fun little time-waster called Cock-A-Doodle. As the name implies, it does have to to with cocks. Short ones, fat ones, long ones, soft ones, hard ones, hairy ones and one's you can create all by yourself. And yes, it all somehow has do do with helping to end male cancer.

Ass Wiping An Untapped Market

While some may laugh this off and the whinings of an anally obsessed freak, Thomas Sherman, acknowledging how Norelco recently addressed topic of male body hair grooming head on in a recent ad campaign, thinks this is endemic of many consumer needs that aren't served by marketers because, well, they're too icky to think about. Just as Howard Stern has ranted for years, Sherman thinks it should be normal for a person to want to have a cleaner rear end and that a line of products, namely baby wipe-style tissues, should be available to serve that need. Sounds reasonable enough. While that type of product is already available in Europe, it hasn't hit the squeamish shores of America. So, if there's an enterprising marketer out there, you have at least one potential customer so far.

One Sort of Facial Promotes Another

You see. It's not just us. Even our readers' minds are as sick as ours. From a reader, this Clinique ad - currently appearing in People - comes to us today in an attachment called "Money Shot" along with wonderment regarding just what sort of facial is being eluded to. Really. How exactly does a glob of fluid on a woman's face promote moisturizing cream?

Mouse Takes Cheese Over Girl

Here's a ray of hope for anyone who thinks the only thing the male species of any race thinks about is women. This little mouse in this Jarlsberg ad is quite resourceful when it comes to getting his piece of cheese. Oh wait. Food over girl? That's not much redemption for men now is it?

Canada Will Take Care of Your Infantile, Lazy Husband

Adrants reader Roy Coffman sent us this "commercial" for a service many married women would love to have at their disposal when their lazy husbands (after all, all husbands are lazy in today's current emasculated culture, right?) just become too much to deal with. Just as you might drop the kids off at day care, this new service promises women a headache-free day.

Itching Boogers Grace Billboard

Sometimes you have to wonder what goes through the mind of a copywriter when they come up with this stuff.

Boy Baby Borrows Car, Meets Girl baby, Goes Surfing

Hmm. In New Zealand, they call a Hyundai a hyoonday. Interesting. Anyway. Brent found this ha-yoon-day commercial in which two babies hook up and drive to beach and surf. It's just weird enough to be good. Well, at least we think so. You watch it and let us know.

9/11-Like UK Bomb Plot Thwarted, 9/11 Oliver Stone Movie Promoted

While we don't know for certain if this ad was served using contextual technology, Animal's Bucky Turco informs us of an odd ad placement for the upcoming Oliver Stone movie, World Trade Center. It appeared smack in the middle of a Yahoo story about the thwarting of a major UK aircraft bomb plot. Not to belittle the freakishly horrific nightmare this could have become, we still feel it's our duty to point out contextual fuckery at its finest.

Time Warped Bank Thinks Flash Mob Stunt Is Cutting Edge

Perhaps there really is some sort of cultural brick wall between New York City and Canada or at least between Montreal's National Bank marketing team and the rest of the entire world. In a laughably out of touch press release, the bank claims it is "once again on the cutting edge of advertising with a colourful new event: a flash mob, used to promote the Bank's role as the presenting sponsor of the Rogers Cup tennis tournament." Colorful new event? Hello? Flash Mobs came and went three years ago, my Canadian friends. It's 2006 this year, not 2003. If calling a three year old trendlet cutting edge weren't bad enough, the bank isn't even conducting a flash mob. All it's doing is unleashing 40 young women dressed in tennis apparel who will roam the streets of Montreal during rush hour August 9 passing out tickets to a tennis match at the Rogers Cup August 12 to 20. Idiots. That's not a flash mob. That's street marketing.

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Explosive Pinkness Now Primary Method of Selling Bubble Gum

Apparently in acknowledgment that every method to sell bubble gum has been done to death, Toronto-based agency Youthography chose to go with a decidedly different approach for its client Bubblicious. Celebrating the gum's pinkness, the spot gets a bit orgasmic with the stuff in that odd. nonsequitor sort of way. Print accompanies.