Even Diseases Do MySpace

We recently learned that March is Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month. MS impacts over 2.5 people worldwide, and to assist sufferers the National MS Society started the Join the Movement campaign.

We wonder who gets to dole months out to interested parties because it seems like there are more Awareness Months than actual months.

Before we forget why we started writing about this in the first place, hit the MS MySpace to make other movement friends and watch sad videos.

Comedian Says Commercial Song Selection Could Be Better

Tian tells us comedian Eric O'Shea has some advice for creative departments the world over. O'Shea suggest selecting songs for commercials that actually have some relevance to what you are trying to sell. We won't spoil the fun by listing his suggestions. Just watch the video. We hope you will heed his advice. We guarantee your commercials will be far better.

Metamucil Makes Out to Be the Botox of Guts

In a drastic repositioning, Metamucil takes on the slogan "Be Beautiful on the Inside" and invites women to look at the brand as an internal cosmetic - you know, like those Oil of Olay pills except these are for fiber and they make you shit like mad.

Maybe it's the font or the wry look on the girl's face. Suddenly, we do want some Metamucil. Is that wrong?

Polaroid Watches Bathroom Goers

Polaroid cameras in the bathroom. Nice idea in Sao Paulo. We're not thinking this will go over too well in the Sates, however.

Beano Gingerly Cuts Gas in Women's Magazine

Ever-so-delicately raising the topic of flatulence in the Ladies Home Journal, Copyranter tips us off on these completely weird cauliflower love letter ads for Beano. Check out a break-up variation.

We're totally mystified by the melodramatic soap opera serial vibe of the campaign, set off with wilty illustrations. Why can't we just say it would be nice not to look preggers in our little black dress tonight? Enough of this tiptoeing around the subject with the mopey gas-bestowing veggie. Nobody's writing love letters to vegetables. We're all just trying to keep our stomachs tucked into our jeans.

Cheap Japanese Porn Showcases that Other Kind of Cleavage

Finally a clothing trend worthy of mention. What - we get skinny jeans and the Japanese get to play conservative cocktease with faux-transparent skirts and built-in thongs that show nothing but promise everything at the same time?

We can do better than this. Where's Lil' Kim when you need her?

Update: the PC police inform us nobody actually walks around with panties printed on their skirts, which we took to be a damn shame. The cheesy skirts are apparently used in cheap porns to titillate men who can't afford to put mirrors on their shoes.

With Celebratory Bullshit, Agency Introduces 'Disease Marketing'

We're not sure the mid-90's style baggy, pleated pants the guy is wearing in this video are as intentionally spoofy as the rest of the site but that's besides the point. We're not talking about fashion here. We're talking about an agency that thinks viral marketing is fleeting and unproductive and has pioneered something much better: Disease Marketing. Yes. "Why settle for a harmless virus when you can get a full blown disease," says the trouser-wearing agency dude.

Minneapolis-based Kruskopf Coontz, calling itself "the face of disease," promises its disease marketing can lift brands to the level of emphysema: incurable and impossible to ignore. And that's not all. After introducing its "The New Viral" approach, Kruskopf whisks us away to its brand new website with an intro that brings together the finest, most complete collection of agency bullshit including B.S. Central (scroll all the way to the right), a video section of their site that gleefully tears apart the industry's obsession with awards, pointless philosophies, 25/8 dedication, its people, pontificating press releases, street cred, hipsterificness, base touching and the idiotic, self-important use of cell phones.

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Scott Awards $25,000 for Unclogging Toilet with Ski Pole

Toilet humour isn't just the cheapest form of joke; it's probably also the most relatable. Scott Clog Clinic, an ongoing Scott campaign meant to educate people about best toilet practices and share fun facts, just awarded a 23-year-old Pennsylvanian $25,000 for sharing his "cloggiest moment."

In brief, said 23-year-old takes his father's advice late one night and uses his uncle's ski pole to get rid of a clog that won't be moved by a plunger.

Why give the guy money? What they should have given him was film equipment. There's nothing like watching a stressful situation like that play out on Youtube. It has all the right components: an anxious 20-something, a gigantic piece of shit and ski equipment. How did anyone avoid filming this?

Face Rubbing Ass Clad in Red Speedo Somehow Sells Gum

According to one Adrants reader, this commercial for Trident Spearmint Watermelon Splash is "plaguing" Canada. We can certainly see why. It's not a stretch to assume opera goers - or anyone for that matter - would take too kindly to a guy strolling into the auditorium wearing nothing but a red Speedo and rubbing his ass in people's faces as he made his way to his seat. Somehow this is supposed to sell gum. We're at a loss to see how.

One Armed Caveman Eats Candy Bar, Gets Munched

If you're a caveman (no, not the Geico caveman because you, my friend, would somehow think this is yet another slight on your kind) and you're eating a "Half Chocolately, Half Candy, Half Crazy" Vertigo bar from Topps Confections, you might want to keep your arms close by. The campaign, which kicks off March 19, was created by Duval Guillaume New York and will air through May 28 on Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, ABC Family among others. Here's a look at one of the four :15's.