Vintage Throwback: Marlboro Tries Baby Desperados

Sometimes you need to go vintage to remember how far we have (or haven't) come. Before cowboys, Marlboro marketed with that other lovable doe-eyed mom-melter: kids. The text just kills us.

We only wish we could have invited our moms to light up pre-punishment without getting thrown into next year. See the complete ad here. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

FCCFU Says Bend Over, We're Not Using Lube

We dig this video released by FCCFU.com which, to the tune of "My Country 'Tis of Thee," slaps the FCC in the wrist for being such tight-asses about what's available on mainstream media.

It flirts with tastelessness but gets the point across in a way that made us grin and not roll our eyes. Good stuff. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Beer Bottles Bring Christmas Spirit to Union Station

Who needs chimes or bells to create Christmas carols when you have beer bottles instead? Yes, Amstel has come up with an inventive promotion that fits perfectly with the holiday season. In New York's Union Square today, a group of carolers delivered holiday tunes by blowing on beer bottles filled to various levels to make the right sounds. Giving something back while selling. Nice.

Pinar Lets Silverware Speak for Themselves

Givenchy once said something about how elegance can always be found in the simplicity of a straight line. We totally slaughtered that. In any case, we think the philosophy is well-demonstrated in this ad for Pinar by agency Tempus.

The headline reads "Investment for flavour"; the body says, "Pınar, Turkey's 31 yeared flavour brand, is continuing to grow with your investments and add flavour in your meals."

We're not sure what they sell considering the first image we saw on their site was this one, which intensely perplexed us, but we'd probably buy forks from them. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Mia Hamm Expecting Kicking Duo in Spring '07

Weird. But we're fond of Mia because she did those cute "anything you can do I can do better" ads with MJ before he got lame. So congrats on the pair! - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Yahoo Makes Gives Shleps Everywhere a Shot at Photojournalism

Because actual Amazon-braving, dysentery-getting, foxhole-hovering journalists don't have enough to bitch about already what with crappy pay and self-entitled bloggers, Yahoo! fuels the fire with You Witness News, a beta service that magically converts any kid on the street with a camera phone into a paid member of the photojournalist elite.

The idea has potential considering a guy with a camera phone fully recorded the unfuckingbelievable horrors of that UCLA student tasing incident awhile back. We'll see where it goes. In any event, it'll be fun to watch the sparks fly among the watchdogs of the profession. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Carat Fusion Knows True Meaning of Christmas

Carat Fusion is injecting a bit of common sense into the out-of-control agency Christmas card trend and rather than trying to create something that's funny or cool or witty that just comes off as dumb, the agency has created something that refelcts what Christmas is all about: giving. The agency's Carat Fusion Holiday Cookie Maker lets visitors decorate gingerbread cookies. For each cookie decorated, the agency will donate $1 (up to a limit of $5,000) to Save the Children. Now that's a Christmas card.

Wal-Mart And Twelve Days of Christmas Save Etiquette Blunders

While everyone's embroiled in the Wal-mart/Julie Roehm debacle, the retailer is still out there pushing its wares. With a holiday theme including the singing of The Twelve Days of Christmas, the Jason Reitman-directed spot illustrates perfectly what it's like to show up at a party empty-handed and how Wal-mart can convert you from loser to sophisticated party-goer in the length of time it takes to sing a Christmas carol.

People In Need of an Intervention Convinced Bahamas Will Cure All

Hmm. These four news commercials for the Bahamas are both dumb and funny at the same time. To urge vacation-hesitant weirdos to consider the Bahamas as a destination, the spots center around a "Bahamavention" during which very weird stuf happens and people are converted into Bahamas vacationers. Is it just us or is that Bahamas logo strikingly similar to various versions of the Microsoft Windows logo?

Starbucks Brainwashes Boston Cabbies

Catch Up Lady takes paranoid note of Starbucks' infiltration of Boston cab drivers, who seem to be in cahoots with It's Red Again, the pay-it-forward campaign that's got people doing all kinds of weird shit like buying baked goods for each other. And smiling! What's with the smiling?!

Catch Up Lady vows to bar herself indoors but to be honest we'd like to get in the way of the people giving out movie tickets and orgasmic pastries. Clearly another demonstration of how Starbucks intends to take over the world, to no positive end. - Contributed by Angela Natividad