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No One's Watching That YouTube Video You Paid For MultiVu, a service of PRNewswire, will help you create and distribute a multimedia news release to "more than 100 million consumers and investors who get their news and information on the Web." If you have a company video or ad embedded into your release, MultiVu will share it on popular sites like YouTube and Veoh as part of its distribution service. Pretty cool, right? It's not all good though. So, How Intensely Talented is Your Mouth? Because Colgate wants to know. o_O Catch the cattle call for "intensely talented mouths" all over MySpace today. And speaking of mouths with intense talent, get a load of the nipple-tasting action on the lower right-hand side of the page. All that dirty context doesn't really leave us with that fresh clean feeling. Exactly what kind of submissions do you want, Colgate? News Corp. and AOL Pick Sides in MicroHoo Drama Big day for Yahoo yesterday. In addition to tentatively agreeing to serve Google ads on its search pages, Yahoo's apparently in talks with Time Warner to fold AOL into itself, in exchange for 20 percent ownership. Time Warner will pay in cash. Microsoft, always one to take a crappy bluff, is now in talks with News Corp. to lob a joint bid at the company anyway. Good life lesson here: if you can't pick just one, take the whole plate. Don't Stop at Shaking Your Ass. SHAKE TA LIFE. Viacom is the parent company behind a covert French mobile phone promotion called Shake Ta Life (probably the most wince-worthy Franglais EVAR), where, with one quick shake, phones do all kinds of wild and wonderful things to improve the lives of their MTV-enslaved owners. An on-site phone customizing doohickey lets you select what you want a phone to do (make you sexier, make a kebab) and how you'd like it to look (girly, glamrock, gothic, geeky). I put together a geeky kebab-making phone. That's the thing at left. It probably smells nice. The brand behind the madness will be revealed on April 16th. Try not to stay up fretting over it. Instead, ponder on this: wouldn't it be cool if your phone had a foosball table? Now There's a Home for Your Lame Home-Made Sports Videos That home is "Homestyle Sports." And when I say "home," I mean a bonafide online show complete with hosts (Dan and Adam!), sponsor (Champion!) and a big-ass box of swag, which Dan and Adam explore between candid sports takes. The whole thing's kinda like watching "America's Funniest Home Videos" except with two Bob Sagets, a lot of balls and some hoodies. To be part of all the fear and loathing, upload your own clips to Break.com or YouTube.com/homestylesports. Be sure to tag them with "homestylesports." Coffee, Tea ... or Richard Kirshenbaum? Sassy Richard of kirshenbaum + bond is launching a show on Plum called Creative Lunch. Think Oprah, except people will be picking at food while weighing in on almighty Creativity. Slated guests include Martha Stewart, Matt Lauer, and David and Dylan Lauren. We've seen Richard talk before. He's mesmerizing, especially when he does that swishy thing with his hair. Also, he never ever capitalizes anything. Hurry for self-fellating agency heads. Now here is a promotional image of Richard barefoot. (The PR company sent it to us, except 34098343908 times bigger.) No word yet on the debut of a "k" magazine, featuring Richard on the cover in various states of simper, following the success of the talk show. We're sure they're working on it though. Yahoo Taps Google, Webby Would-Bes Go Live, BMW Gets Tagged, and the Most Beautiful Marker We've Ever Seen - YAHOO'S PARTNERING WITH GOOGLE FOR SEARCH ADS OMG. Whew. Glad that's out of the way. - Here is the Webby Awards list of nominees. - Barkley's Bad Gift Emporium, which makes e-cards like the treasury of memorable Hillary expressions at left, was nominated for a Weird Webby. It's weird and all, but can it beat Cute Overload? (See reclining pug and potent pandas.) Vote here. Come On. Deforestation is JUST LIKE Plucking Out Earth's Chest Hair. Here's a video that will make you think about deforestation in a painful, deeply personal way. Try not to cry. Except this metaphor doesn't really hold. Because after that virgin pluck session, you get all rhino-skinned and totally impervious to the pain of losing your hair, one at a time, in an agonizingly slow manner. I know this. I have conducted studies on my own anatomy. Because All of Moby's Friends Will Be Washing Their Hair that Night Moby tests the limits of your self-esteem with this popularity contest for his new album. Entrants are competing for control of the guestlist for Moby's entire UK launch party. The trick is to "fill the place with 1500 mates, or mates of mates or their mates." To flood the house, UK players get friends to MMS 63333 with a unique guestlist ID. Back on the website, your audience swells as the messages roll in. Five ambitious promoters will be awarded "party crasher" tickets for punting the fete in the most original way and posting a video on YouTube. Pretty neat campaign. Seems like a helluva lot of work though. Put together by archibald ingall stretton. Interactive Milk Campaign Totally Shuts Us Out. Well Then, Soy It is. We really love neolithic sentences like "Get more cowbell," which is probably why the agreeably retro Get a Load of Milk site is so endearing, even though it's otherwise useless, because it's PC optimized and we're on a Mac. At least the new mobile site works all right. Oh wait. No it doesn't. It's optimized for video-friendly phones like the Sony Ericsson K85i Rogers Vision, and our BlackBerry ain't that. Do the milk men hate us? Come on, guys. We eat cereal too. 
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