Curiouser and curiouser. Australia-based graphic artist Jason Nelson throws together an odd piece of work called Hermeticon, which uses bits of '80's toy and candy ads to create sound and video collages that spark to life when you type things out into a grid. He calls the results "ad-driven spells."
It reminds us a lot of all the ad generators already flying around except less coherent than usual. That's okay though, we dig it.
It might just be because our childhood connection to Rainbow Brite sparked back to life when she appeared for a moment - just a moment! - on the grid. We can't help but admire the emotional range of a good nostalgic mash-up. That's why we sit on in the dark watching "I Love the 80's" reruns at 2 AM.
To fully leverage its sponsorship for the PGA tourney in Orlando, MasterCard launches Priceless, an interactive site that positions itself as a telecenter support group for the one-iron-obsessed. Magical voice response technology even syncs what consumers hear on the phone to what they see on their screens.
Based on a set of quiz questions, golf lovers can log into the site and find out how golf-obsessed they are. A major incentive to answering these questions is that afterward you get the option of registering for text messages from LPGA golfer Laura Diaz or cheats from Spaulding Smalls.
We're going to take a shot in the dark and suggest if you actually explore the site for more than a couple of minutes you are probably pretty obsessed as things stand. Like golf itself, unless you actively decide to get involved in it the site ain't terribly interesting.
In conjunction with design/animation/production team Shilo, ATTIK creates a series of weird virals to promote the Scion xB. We think the Scion xB is ugly as hell, but apparently so does the marketing team and they're using its quirky boxiness as leverage.
We haven't got all the virals, but one called Round to Square involves a standard stick figure hacking away at its face until it achieves a satisfying square appearance that brought back traumatic memories of Mooninites. The video then leads us to Want 2 B Square, an odd interactive wasteland with vestiges of death (like the guillotine at left) all over the place. The site also houses games, which we actually kind of enjoy.
We like the look and feel of the campaign but we're still as likely to start hacking away at our own faces as we are to purchase a Scion.
In an attempt to stay relevant post-Jared, Subway unveils Fresh Buzz, which houses a bunch of marginal stars that could use a sex tape career boost, and something called the fit evolution.
A diagram suggests that after discovering french fries and cheeseburgers man got progressively fatter and fatter until discovering Subway Fresh Fit.
We're doubting the veracity of that claim because a recent rerun of South Park not-so-quietly divulges that Jared didn't just get skinny with sandwiches, he got skinny with aides. Fitness aides, that is. Does the fit evolution come with aides? No? Then sorry, Subway. Until the day you can give us the aides we need to get fit like Jared alongside your sandwiches, you're just another chain telling sweet lies.
Not to be outdone by the iPhone, Nokia has launched Great Pockets, a site that creates an entire line of fashion with special pockets just to carry the burgeoning supply of digital devices we all use on a daily basis. Of course, the fashion are horrible and after a bit, you are whisked to another site that sings the glory of the Nokia N95, an iPhone wannabe that's a phone, mp3 player, gps, camera and video cam all rolled into one. It's entirely unsexy compared to the iPhone but Nokia's always made things that work quite well...and with more than one service provider. If you choose the N95, you won't be as cool as your iPhone toting hipsters but you might have a bit more cash in your pocket and a little more flexibility.
If you ever saw the movie, Goonies, and just couldn't get enough of it, now, courtesy of Jeep, BBDO Detroit and Fuel Industries, you can relive all that eighties adventure goodness in the form on an online game called Return to Astoria. There's even a trailer for the game. We're told Goonies are timeless. We wouldn't know. We can't even remember watching the movie.
Aside from maybe the coffee, we can't really think of a reason why a visit to McDonald's is necessarily an activity that will help you wake up and face the day. Well, other then the fact you have to actually be awake to go to a McDonald's but let's not get bogged down in the details. One would assume a nice big, greasy, artery-clogging McDonald's breakfast would make you sleepy and want to crawl back into bed or, more likely, barf but McDonald's, with it's Moroch Partners-created Morning Impaired site thinks otherwise.
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PETA posts an article on the passing of Anna Nicole Smith, comparing the organization to her influence in a way that kind of makes sense but isn't immediately obvious to the casual observer: "We always thought that Anna Nicole was a perfect fit for PETA because, just like us, she not only hated cruelty to animals but also couldn't be ignored and because, no matter what people thought of her, they always had an opinion one way or another."
Touching stuff. To solidify the comparison, both were pretty good at performing stripteases for selected audiences.
There's a running Ebay sale for a Dodge Neon covered in over 1500 Pokemon cards from both the first and second generation. With a bid over $600 and seven days left running, we think the guys that did it have a decent chance of meeting their $7000 reserve, particularly if the sip and click trend keeps claiming victims.
"Just think about it," says Hypothetical Drunk Friend #1. "Can't you imagine how fucking awesome it would be to have a Pokemon car? When will we ever have this chance again?!"
"You're right!" exclaims Hypothetical Drunk Friend #2. "There's only 5 minutes left on the auction. Let's do this."
Auction end is met with hysterical giggles. Until the next morning.
Dun dun duuuuun.
It was just a matter of time before Borat got pinned a victim for his masochistic hairstyle but it turns out his case may be bigger than that, depending on whether you value the right to good hair over freedom of speech.
An annual human rights report released by Condy Rice criticizes the real Kazakhstan, listing relevant examples of human rights victims and including fictional character Borat, the woman-bashing, Jew-spooked Kazakh reporter invented by Jewish comedian Sacha Baron Cohen.
It's unsurprising Borat's come across some trouble considering the president isn't too keen on Cohen's charming rendition of Kazakhstan as racist, superstitious and misogynistic. The decision to pull Borat's website, Borat.KZ, is ceremoniously noted in the report: "The government deemed as offensive the content of a satirical site controlled by British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen and revoked the .kz domain."
We think it's sweet that the country has risen to Borat's defense. If we're going to chuck dirt at all our international friends anyway we might as well stop pretending it's for a good reason and go on righteously rallying for fictional characters.
Humbert Humbert had it rough too. Who wants to throw the rock at Mother Russia?
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