Sears' Die Hard Click-to-Call Doesn't

We're thinking if Sears were to partner with eStara on a click-to-call, battery promotion project, the two might actually want the thing to work. Perhaps, we just caught them at a busy time. Although, we wonder how many people are really buying batteries at 12:30 AM. It's all working fine now but it's random glitches like this that insure POTS (plan old telephone service) will always have a place in this world.

Ford Sponsors Wiki-Controlled Farting Joneses

Created by Imagine Digital Communications and produced by Baby Cow, the Ford-sponsored "daily interactive online sitcom" uses a Wiki-style website called Where Are the Joneses, which allows any viewer to change the storyline, character, setting, location or any other element of the sitcom. With all kinds of interesting scenes involving back stretch farting, we're sure this one's going to be a winner.

Page View Dead, Jane Dead, Heavy Drifts, Simpsons Market, Flickr Up

- The death of the page view is now a reality. As of today, Nielsen is expected to announce it will no longer base its ranking on page views but rather time spent on the site. Stickiness is the new auto-reload. Of course, time spent and page view are just one metric among many used based on campaign goals. All have their place.

- Heavy.com and Castrol have launched Heavy Tuning Channel to celebrate the art of drifting.

- Rohit Bhargava has gathered together all the varied methods of marketing used for the upcoming Simpsons movie.

- Following a two year, last ditch effort to rejuvenate Jane magazine, Conde Nast is folding the publication, shuttering the website and bidding adieu to employees.

- Hitwise reports Flickr traffic is up 38 percent over the past four weeks following Yahoo's shut down of its Yahoo Photos and its inclusion of Flickr photos.

- Copyrranter ain't liking the new Ad Council PSA for youth alcohol abuse.

Wirebreakers Confuzzle Ball Players with Arms, Legs All Akimbo

Motorola's Wirebreakers are back with a viral hopeful in which a headphone-wearing breakdancer storms onto a baseball field and starts to battle in front of first base.

Uh ... yeah. Motorola's PR efforts feel as broken as its Razrs and Qs.

Pot Noodle Courts UGC for ... Pots ... of ... Noodles.

AKQA London has launched a weird little YouTube campaign for Pot Noodle in the UK.

We like the campaign mainly because, in exchange for user-generated fare, they've opted not to dole out the usual $10K. Instead, winners get a FREE CASE OF POT NOODLE!!!, which is probably exactly what they're worth.

Oh yeah, you can also win a PS3.

It's Food, Not Fucks, that Make a Match, Says Match.com

We're having fun with this new quiz-style Match.com campaign, the first iteration of which we saw a couple of weeks ago.

In a rollover questionnaire housed by this unappetizing banner ad, we made the meat-loving choice and were redirected to a page full of meat-loving men.

We have to say their use of borderline campy imagery in these new dating ads is way more effective than the Tits + Love approach.

Candystand Does Air Hockey, We Are Not Amused

High off our last accolades, Candystand took the liberty of sharing its new air hockey game with us.

They promised it would be as addictive as ping-pong but it wasn't. It sucked, mainly because the hockey puck is controlled by the movement of your mouse and it sometimes takes awhile for it to catch up.

With that in mind, the British destroyed us more times than we want to relive.

Air hockey = FTL. And the music is horrible!

Scion Momentarily Shelves Little Deviants - for Urban Hustlers? Yawn.

With the help of video site Blastro, which specializes in pandering to the brand-spankin'-old Urban Hustlers demographic, Scion shakes off its Little Deviants to remind suburban "deviants" they're still down with the community.

We have to admit that the interactive room in Block Savvy nails the street aesthetic nicely, and Streetfire, their racer-friendly customization page, brings Scion back to what made the otherwise-unattractive vehicle unique in the first place (its mutability).

But we're otherwise really bored with all this desperate pleading in the direction of hip hop. It's the reason why we liked Want 2 B Square and Little Deviants so much - Scion carved an edgy new personality on its own merits instead of paying Kanye for his. So much for that.

IKEA Adds Yet Another Oddity to Dorm Room Activities

The college dorm room. Ah yes. That tiny, not so personal space that sees more action in one semester than in the entire run of Big Brother. Is there anything that hasn't happened in a dorm room? Not anymore thanks to IKEA who's released a video in which heads randomly pop out of a dorm room's enclosed spaces and begin to beatbox. It's all to get people to head over to roommateliving.com on which IKEA hawks its college room-ready wares. And yup, there's even an IKEA College Night promotion from July 6-9 where college students and high school seniors can bring their IDs to IKEA stores for a chance to win free stuff.

For Repressed Catholic Schoolgirls, SilverJet's the Way to Fly

The guys over at Brand Experience Lab were kind enough to share this ad for Silverjet's "women-only loos" with us.

The concept was clever and probably would have rung unexpectedly fresh if, twice before watching it, we weren't told the approach would be "a little different for an upscale airline!"

But since the surprise was spoiled and we are for the most part tired of Mile High Club jokes, the whole thing seemed kind of trashy.

If we ever harbored any doubts about whether gender division actually prevents the nice from going naughty, we would have visited a public men's room at 2 AM or picked up a Colette novel.