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Lynx Girls Get Dirty, You Get to Clean Them Adverblog is calling this new Lynx site a navigational disaster. We'd have to agree. Though, that didn't stop us from spending a few minutes checking out the girls and helping them was the dirt off themselves with a nifty mouse-controlled sponge. Yea, yea, yea. We know already. We're lame, easily amused and simple minded. But, hey, it's Friday and this is oh so apropos to the day. Idiotic Oracle Dispenses Pointless Rubbish, WhoDo Fixes From the company GotThingsDone, which provides productivity tools, comes Follow the Oracle, a site on which you can "0btain all the answers to the typical questions of people involved in Project Management." Trouble is, the Oracle's an idiot and can't help you at all. So after a few minutes of idiocy, you can click your way over to GotThingsDone's project management tool, WhoDo and leave the idiot behind. Hennessy, Pharrell Lend Sly Tips on Worldy Wealth Life lessons from Hennessy on looking ridiculously rich - er, tasteful: - Appear bored Hennessy's launched a new campaign called Flaunt Your Taste alongside Pharrell, known for his beats that cost six figures. Original beats are hidden all over the microsite. The most amusing page by far is MANIFESTO, which is flanked by a classy-looking black dude holding a protractor. Random throwback to Ogilvy's eyepatch man? Maybe. Like to Gamble for a Cause? Then By All Means... If you've ever lost a street-side game of Three Card Monty, you probably don't want to play the Great Car Cover-Up. The object of the game is to examine three covered vehicles from all angles. One car is a convertible, one will turn heads and the other is a dud. Text your choice of car to a certain number for a small fee. This is part of Glue's effort to promote the RAC's £5 Car Data Check. The cars will be revealed on October 17th, and all profits go to a charity called Brake. Drama-Ridden Quarterlife Trainwreck Hits MySpace TV Appealing to the same people that kept Dawson's Creek undeservedly on air, Quarterlife Crisis explores the lives of twenty-somethings "coming of age" in the digital era. (That means it's about a blogger who airs her friends' dirty laundry over the internet, to the demise of her personal relationships.) This is a show that didn't quite make it to TV land, so it's airing on MySpace and launching a social network instead. Users will be able to affect the show's plot (possibly, says MarketingVox) and get some professional networking and job help. Though we're pretty sure that if the network flies at all, people are overwhelmingly just going to meet up to drink, sob about their confusion and hook up. Actually, Craigslist probably fills both those roles pretty nicely. Catch vestiges of all the self-entitled angst at Quarterlife.com. It debuts on November 11th, and you can blame producers Marshall Herskovitz and Edward Zwick. Crush Calculator Could Do with a Better Selection of Soulmates We can't even describe how creeped-out we get when we see this ad for Crush Calculator. The thought of being passionately grasped by that furry over-the-hill co-ed is frightening - but somehow so realistic that we can smell the bacon on his wife beater and see the indentation he'd make on the couch while playing video games. If he's our future, we're bummed. Target Preps for Back-to-School with Revolving Dorm We just caught a glimpse of Target's new back-to-school ad. It falls under the tagline "Brave new dorm," which made us think of Brave New World, which gave us chills, which only worsened with thoughts of Target's size and omnipresence (New York is still slathered with Hello, Goodbuy. Why, Target, why?). In any case, it goes without saying that Target knows how to get your head bopping. Now if only dorm rooms were actually that size. 'Smashing' Compiles Collection of Snazzy 404 Pages Speaking of 404 pages, check out Smashing Magazine's compilation of error message remixes. You're probably thinking, "Sitting around revising a 404 page is inexplicably geeky and lame." Fair enough. But honestly, we wouldn't mind getting lost if we could find an easter egg once in awhile. The people that bother redesigning error messages are probably the same species that lifted us out of the MS-DOS, type-in-command days. Contextual Fuckery Delivers Life Insurance Courtesy of Dead Soldiers Yesterday, seven soldiers died in Iraq. Not that this is the sort of news Adrants reports but it's nice to step outside our mostly meaningless business from time to time and digest something that actually has meaning and truly affects people in ways that make advertising comparably irrelevant. Oh, and if seven soldiers dying in Iraq weren't bad enough, courtesy of contextual advertising's unfailing fuckery, this CNN news story was accompanied by an ad for life insurance with the headline, "If you died today, who would fund your family's future?" Well, for the families of the seven who died, it's a bit late to buy life insurance but hey, there's plenty of time for the rest of the military to bulk up on insurance. So I guess it's a perfectly placed ad after all. Deutsch Jacks Off, Squirts Out Adsturbation Combining the theme of masturbation with the ever-unavoidable flashturbation, Deutsch has erected (I know, so fuckin' lame) Adsturbation, a site on which you can pump yourself up (again...so lame...sorry) while listening to your client, creative director, account guy and supposed-to-be-hot-but-not intern heap praise on you in the form of wacky platitudes. Combine that with the introductory copy "You work in advertising. It's Advertising Week. What better time to pleasure yourself with superlative praise. Why? Because it feels good...There are a few people who'd like to stroke your ego in private," and you've got what amounts to either a witty take on our ego-driven, attention-whoring, self-esteem-challenged industry or a tired, lame, over done joke a fifth grader thinks is funny and can't stop telling over and over and over until you want to scream "shit the fuck up" but you don't because, you know, you're supposed to be the role model. So which is it? You decide. 
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