Wow. We've Come a Long Way from the FanFic* Days.

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The other day we came across this banner ad for IMVU. The story should be easy enough to figure out: two hot avatars meet, and hey, one thing leads to another. "Live the lifestyle you've always dreamed of," the piece concludes, followed by IMVU's standard CTA: "Meet new people."

We were pretty incredulous about this "lifestyle you've always dreamed of" crap, but then we thought, hey, being sexy and promiscuous in a virtual world is probably infinitely safer than doing it in the Ritz bathroom. Anyway, since then we've seen a couple of other IMVU ads that better illustrate what IMVU means when it says dreamed of.

Fall in love like the first time, engage in girl-on-girl recreation -- or, hell, play Twilight without all the chaste overtones. That shit's creepy though.

It probably bears mentioning, however, that when it comes time for all the meat-rubbing, you still won't actually be your avatar. And you'll still be all alone.

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by Angela Natividad    Mar-18-09    
Topic: Online, Strange



Saucy Southern Heif Seeks Entry into Golden State

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The California Milk Advisory Board continues its Happy Cow casting call with an entry from April, a down-home Southern diva. She sings country, has an entourage of ganders and makes the Cali cows all catty. Click on the April videotape to watch her audition.

In the event that Simpering Belle just isn't your accent of choice, check out last month's entry from Soo (she's got Soeul!).

by Angela Natividad    Mar-17-09    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Online



'Guns, Blood, Drugs ... What Else Could You Ask For?'

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Got this email blast from Echelon Studios this morning and that header totally perplexed us. What else could we ask for? In my mind, Steve was all, "Hot bitches!" -- and I was like, "...microfiber cloth...?"

The blast is a promotion for two (appropriately) made-for-DVD titles: Death Rattle Crystal Ice ("meth, murder, mayhem"!) and Blood-Stained Romance ("sometimes love doesn't have a happy ending"). Priceless blurbage from the latter:


Soon lies turn to murder launching Holden into a spiraling bloodbath of violence and desperation as he tries to hide the infatuation that feeds his madness. Through it all, he tries to cling to a trembling grip on reality, as love and pain coalesce into a shocking "climax".

Melodramatic run-on sentence? Check. Use of the irresistible "coalesce"? Check. Quotes around "climax"? Check, baby, check.

by Angela Natividad    Mar-13-09    
Topic: Online, Packaging, Promotions, Strange



Need a New Desk to Bend Over? Have We Got the Gig for You.

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American Apparel peels its sleaze off for a second to make a public service announcement: "American Apparel is ... Jobs."

This crucial message is illustrated by a muscly bald dude who appears to be in the stock room. Which begs the question: where'd all AA's eye candy go? In a clime this dire, is all that tap-worthy ass just unwilling to lift its own load?

by Angela Natividad    Mar-13-09    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Online



Mars Hosts Online, Offline Easter Egg Hunt

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Thanksgiving. Christmas. Valentine's Day. *slap* Easter. Please, make it stop! It's like one holiday ends and another begins. So, yea, Easter's on the way and so are the Easter-themed campiagns like this one from Mars Canada for M&M. Created by Proximity Canada, BBDO Toronto and Firstborn, this one has been dubbed "Canada's most Speck-tacular Egg hunt."

With print, TV (see one of the spots here), POP and online, people are urged to collect M&M eggs hidden around the web (a virtual egg hunt!) and in stores with PIN codes to use as entrance to drawing to win a trip to New York, Las Vegas or Orlando.

There's a site, four minisites and banners on MSN.ca, Yahoo.ca, MySpace.ca and others all with PIN codes to hunt for. Have at it.

by Steve Hall    Mar-11-09    
Topic: Campaigns, Commercials, Games, Online, Point of Purchase, Television



Barbie's Birthday Ride, Defiled Desserts, Neo-Con's Golden Child

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- White paper in comic book form.

- Meg Whitman for CA gov.

- Two sides of Arnold -- the disgruntled and the loyalists -- come to blows.

- Neo-conservatism's golden child.

- Barbie's birthday Beetle.

- Ugh, dude. Only in Iowa.

- "If they did do it, you'd expect them to be flaunting it. Unless there's no one left in the fucking building to do it!"

by Angela Natividad    Mar-11-09    
Topic: Agencies, Online, Opinion, Political



...Is it the Foam Beard that Makes the Big Boys Strip and Shave?

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Continuing that creepy Japanese game show-inspired shaving fetish campaign thing for Nivea, DraftFCB and Rubber Republic assault us with Foam Beard Lady.

We are appropriately terrified.

The associated microsite guides shaving addicts to Stepping Stones Retreat, where a slightly Running with Scissors-y doctor will promise to cure you of glabermania while eye-raping you with Nivea shaving products. Compulsive shavers will no doubt be pleased.

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by Angela Natividad    Mar-11-09    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Online, Strange, Trends and Culture



Vodka Firm Ferrets Out Nation's Best O-Face

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Victims of Office Space probably remember the unforgettable reference to the O face -- that almost embarrassingly vulnerable expression guys make when they're stuffing somebody full of meat popsicle.

Under the mistaken impression that it's clever (and maybe on some level it is), Three Olives Vodka has launched a "What's Your O-Face" contest. Give 'em your best O and you could win $10,000, a "VIP trip to NYC" (what is that, a Broadway show and coke?) and the privilege of getting your O-face splashed all over a national ad campaign.

Think of it! You could be the village bicycle ... except for the whole country.

Associated creative: blue O-face, cherry O-face, root beer O-face.

by Angela Natividad    Mar-11-09    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Online, Poster



JWT's Anxiety Blog, Ogilvy's Recession Salve, Revisiting 'Like a Prayer'

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- Flashback to Madonna's banned Like a Prayer ad for Pepsi.

- Wolff Olins brings minimalist flickr magic -- and a forum for inquiry -- to "scientific" cosmetic brand Living Proof.

- Tracking (corporate accounts on) Twitter.

- The Guardian makes good observations about Twitter (scroll down to the bulletpoints).

- Ogilvy-branded solutions to a recession. Take that hype with a few spoonfuls of salt. Hat tip to our favourite mad man.

- JWT launches a blog called Anxiety Index.

- ScapeNation: another tween-targeting web destination, brought to you by Red Tettemer.



Zippo Pulls the Eco-Guilt Card

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Zippo wises up to its cachet as a potentially "green" product with a brusque new slogan: "Disposable. Just another word for garbage."

On print and banner ads alike, this profundity is flanked by images of dirty disposable lighters, piled up in junkyards. See trash cube, earthbound briquets and three-part display ad.

Creatively, the latter is a disappointing downgrade from this naughty beast. But it gets the point across, and display's cheap these days anyway, so we can't hate with much conviction.

Expect to see the prints in trade pubs, at convenient stores and your local tobacconist. By Brunner/Pittsburgh.

by Angela Natividad    Mar- 6-09    
Topic: Brands, Campaigns, Magazine, Online, Poster