Don't Stop at Shaking Your Ass. SHAKE TA LIFE.

Viacom is the parent company behind a covert French mobile phone promotion called Shake Ta Life (probably the most wince-worthy Franglais EVAR), where, with one quick shake, phones do all kinds of wild and wonderful things to improve the lives of their MTV-enslaved owners.

An on-site phone customizing doohickey lets you select what you want a phone to do (make you sexier, make a kebab) and how you'd like it to look (girly, glamrock, gothic, geeky).

I put together a geeky kebab-making phone. That's the thing at left. It probably smells nice.

The brand behind the madness will be revealed on April 16th. Try not to stay up fretting over it. Instead, ponder on this: wouldn't it be cool if your phone had a foosball table?