Jose Cuervo, Dunkin' Donuts Launch New Campaigns

Compiling a mother lode of newly launched ad campaigns, MediaPost's Amy Corr, writing this week's Out to Launch column, informs us about campaigns from Jose Cuervo, Dunkin Donuts with Johnny Damon, the Magazine Publishers of America, Got Milk, BC Dairy, T-Mobile, Orbitz, Olive Garden, Garnier with Heather Graham, WE, Showtime for Reefer Madness, Cigna, Lipton and palmOne.

Microsoft to Launch 15 Month Windows Campaign

Apparently eager to get that last 8 percent or so of the market, Microsoft is launching a giant, 15 month global ad campaign, called "Start Something," incorporating 51 TV spots, 39 print ads and 250 online ads. The campaign will focus on all the things Windows can do.

Campaign Launched to Save Big Breasts

As only the Sun can do, the paper has launched a campaign (link NSFW) to save, as they call them, "two of Britain's most outstanding monuments - Jordan's (Katie Price) boobs." The famous model has decided her 32FF breasts are simply too big and she has announced she will have her implants removed. The Sun has enlisted the help of the country's National Trust but a spokesman for the organization declined, citing the non-natural qualities of Jordan's monuments, "Our remit is to preserve places of outstanding natural beauty – so we will have to pass on this." Undeterred, the paper is looking to its readers enlisting support via an email campaign intended to convince Jordan of the country's love and admiration of her assets.

Wal-Mart Wastes $35 Million on Environmental Puffery Campaign

In a commercial filled with wildlife imagery, Wal-Mart has announced its "Acres for America" Plan which promises, through a partnership with the National Fish and Wildlife Foundation, the retailer will sponsor the preservation of one acre of land for every acre on which it builds. The program attempts to appease the many complaints the company has received from environmental and labor groups.

While saving an acre of land for wildlife is an admirable thing to do, this program is simply a smokescreen for the real issues at hand. Employees want better pay and towns don't want a Wal-Mart on every street corner. Wal-Mart's "Acres for America" addresses neither. It simply employs the tried and true, squishy, aren't-we-great-because-we-love-nature approach to deflect attention from the primary issue.

According to Ad Age, it's spending $35 million on this deflection. If Wal-Mart simply allocated that $35 million to payroll, it would make great strides towards solving at least half its problems.

Match.com, Giants, Mohegan Sun Launch New Campaigns

Featured in this week's MediaPost Out to Launch column by Amy Corr are new campaigns from Match.com by Hanft Raboy & Partners which debuted on Desperate Housewives a week ago, an outdoor campaign for the San Francisco Giants with a bit less Barry Bonds than originally planned, three tourism campaigns for Charlotte, Beverly Hills and Wisconsin, the return of Mr. Six for Six Flags, a Kirshenbaum Bond + Partners created campaign for Mohegan Sun, a "we're better than cable because we're DSL" campaign for Verizon, a Popeye Chicken & Biscuits campaign featuring comedian Bruce Bruce and a get-out-of-debt campaign from TrueCredit.

Christina Aguilera Appears in Hot, Hot, Hot Skechers Ads

By far the hottest ads to date from footwear company Skechers will be a series of ads for an upcoming fall campaign featuring Christina Aquilera in poses sure to raise the blood pressure of any normal human. There are three ads in the series which will run internationally beginning in August. Each ad shows double images of Aguilera. The firts portrays Aguilera as a nurse aiding a patient, the second shows her as teacher and student and the third shows her getting some legal treatment from herself dressed as we wished all police officers would dress - well, at least the hot ones.

On her agreement to work with Skechers, Aguilera said, "I agreed to be part of Skechers' international marketing team because I like its image -- youthful but edgy. It has attitude and is willing to try new ideas -- refreshing,"

All three ads can be viewed here. Thanks to Dan at The Superficial for the tip.

Cigarette Marketers Increase Double Talk

Faced with vastly declining smoking levels around the world, cancer-causing cigarette companies are increasing the level of double talk, admitting smoking is bad and at the same time continuing to promote their cancer-causing business model.

Camel as launched a summer tour reminiscent of the roaring 20's called "Roaring 2000's" which provides "speakeasy events" where, apparently, smoking will be welcome and promoted. In another campaign, Advance is acknowledging the killing qualities of toxins with the headline "Great Taste, less toxins" as if less toxins are a good thing.

WPP has created a test campaign for Advance's less toxic cigarettes to run in Phoenix which includes the copy, "Everyone knows quitting is the best thing. But for those who continue to smoke, now there's Advance." That's like saying you're a loser for not being able to quit so we're going to help you die slower.