Patron Can Be Epic in as Few as Two Blinks

Sometimes a return to basics can be as glamorous as when they first appeared. Consider what an event it was to see Gone with the Wind in the theatres, way back when. Consider what an event it could still be.

To be fair, Patron isn't an epic love story. But rightfully, it leaves epic tales to Smirnoff and dazzles us old-school, in Hollywood of all places, with this star-lit changing billboard.

First part at left, second part here.

Drummer Wilds Out on BBQ Grills, Leaves Us Wanting Saucy Ribs

Draft FCB had its fist around the BullsEye BBQ Sauce account for awhile, and this is one of the concepts its creatives put together. We don't know if it actually made "legit" commercial status but we really don't care, considering we like it anyway.

Indie drummer Dave Suycott wilds out on a set of grills piled with steaming-hot meat. It reminded us of those Chili's babyback ribs ads from the '90s, because how often does anybody ever mix meat and music? It's a combination that needs more play.

Reyka Vodka Delivers on Campaign Promise

Back in April, we reviewed a new campaign from Iceland vodka maker Reyka Vodka. It was quirky. It was different. It was really good. And, as we wrote, the campaign was "oddly transfixing in a 'wow, this doesn't look like an alcohol ad' sort of way."

Upon receiving a sample of the product and, of course, drinking it, we are pleased to report the vodka itself is oddly transfixing in a "wow, this doesn't taste like your usual, everyday vodka" sort of way. Simply, it's really great stuff. It has a flavor but, as the ad campaign touted, it's distinctly vodka tasting as opposed to some of the high end vodkas that have been "smoothed" so much, they taste like nothing at all.

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Google Reports, Spending Decreased, JWT UnBolded, Upfront Pricey

- Google has launched Placement Performance for AdWords providing advertisers detailed information on how each site within their buy is performing.

- TNS Media Intelligence has revised its 2007 ad forecast downward from a previously predicted growth rate of 2.6 percent to 1.7 percent.for a total spend of $152.3 billion within the media it measures.

- Oh JWT, how we feel for you. It seems Ford doesn't think it's getting all it can from the agency and has reached out to two WPP sibs for new ideas. We said it last year; your move was not bold.

- Well this is logical. Since television rations are sliding downward because of new Nielsen metrics discovering reduced viewing levels, the networks want brands to pay even more for even less during this year's upfronts.

- Copyranter thinks Strawberry Frog's new self promoting "t-shirt test" ad is properly filed under his "agencies are stupid" category.

- Personal Life Media CEO is featured on DoubleClick's NerveCenter series to discuss the world of social marketing.

BK Lures Inner Cowboys Out with Big Burgers, Unsightly Facial Hair

We thought we'd forgotten, or at least transcended, the quirky creepiness of The King. But these new Burger King ads by Crispin Porter + Bogusky for the Western Whopper reminded us that, unlike the witty and benign Jack, The King will mustachio you against your will and watch sadistically with his big plastic eyes while you scream.

Seventeen Launches Gofer Game for Mini Editors-in-the-Make

Seventeen Magazine is on some kind of Elf Quest to find (or just mold?) the perfect editor in the earliest possible stages of life. Toward that goal, Hearst and Arkadium have launched Editor's Assistant, an advergame that the fine folk of PR call an opportunity to step into the shoes of the magazine world's "unsung hero" - assistant to the editor-in-chief.

The game is comprised of bitchwork, which include managing schedules, booking shoots, hiring stylists, answering an ever-ringing phone, checking email, and watching the editor-in-chief's happiness meter. The object is to not be fired in a week, and maybe - just maybe - you'll win a cool treat, like a trip to Fashion Week.

We played for a couple of minutes and grew aggravated with the ringing phone and bored with staring at the virtual desk. The whole thing was a lot of fun until we had to do actual work. Then it was like, dude, this is a game, not our lives. After that happy conclusion, we said "fuck you" to the hope of our earnest little avatar hitting Fashion Week. She must be bummed - but that's okay, she was anorexic anyway.

Altoids Does Gay Pride in Second Life ... Oh Yeah, and in Three Real Cities

It's kind of weird how aspects of Second Life do, and don't, mirror real life. (Someday we expect it won't be PC to call that other life "real.")

In any case, for all of June, Altoids, with the assistance of The WDDG in coordination with Electric Sheep, will be running "Gay Pride Month @ L-Word Island" in everybody's favourite virtual world. Events include a carnival, a date auction, gay prom and two massive parades that sync with the LA, New York and SF ones on our side of reality.

Check out the parade photos, which include LA and SF (NY takes place on the 24th and 25th). The virtual version looks a lot like parades we've been to (check out the jeans so casually posed under the Altoids container!), except easier on the eyes.

Wondering who's behind all the avatars must be something akin to asking how much somebody weighs. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

50 Cent Bastardizes Orchestra in Name of Vitamin Water

In theory we have nothing against 50 Cent. All he has to do is not steal things from us and not replace symphony members with DJ Whoo Kid in order to weave "In Da Club" into classical fare.

He breaks the latter rule here. Thanks bunches, Vitamin Water.

And thanks Shedwa for the heads-up. You should probably also check out this Vitamin Water ad where Kelly Clarkson charms a snake. It reminds us of this, except less funny.

Maurice Saatchi an Idiot, Adland Redesigns, Hadrian's Zigs, Garfield and Clow Chat

- Apparently, Lord Maurice Saatchi is an idiot. Yup, he is.

- Adland has re-designed and we like it a lot.

- Part name-change announcement, part just-fun-to-do, the Chicago office of Zig has created a silent auction to remind their old Hadrian's Wall email list of their new name. They're auctioning off various Hadrian's Wall paraphernalia on eBay.

- Landor Associates has unveiled the new identity and rebranding work it did for The Museum of Television & Radio which is now dubbed The Paley Center for Media. Hmm, even posthumously, media types have an ego the size of a museum complex.

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Penguins and Cavalier Uptalk Do Not an Original Idea Make

Okay. Anybody douchey enough to rip the premise to Patrick Suskind's Perfume, with penguins, and pass the idea off as "uncharted territory" (they SAID this! We SWEAR!), should be chained to a wall, completely naked, and shaved once weekly until the end of time.

Insult to injury, the supposed YouTube debate that the video triggered is completely contrived and thrown-together by a bunch of people who either joined on the same day or don't have profiles.

We're actually scandalized. This is one of those "I CALL SHENANIGANS", like, from-the-rooftops! moments.

Oh yeah, the video is called Penguin Love and it's for Columbia Sportswear.