Microsoft Gets the Girl After All

And by "the girl" I mean that sassy vixen Yahoo, which has been towing it mercilessly by the nose for the last three months.

All it cost was a few more dollars of dignity. Was that so hard, Big Spender?

My guess is, the indiscriminate flirting drove Steve Ballmer mad with lust.

Why Would Anyone Jump Through Hoops to 'Experience' Your Ad?

Check out this Jack Daniel's racing effort at your own risk. It'll appropriate your screen with its king-sized pop-up, deluge you with laggage and in some cases make you download software you don't want. And you STILL have to enter your birthdate.

All this to learn more about Jack Daniel's sticker-strewn Impala SS? No-bloody-thank-you.

You need either big balls or a life-changing message to force somebody through all this nonsense. And frankly, my life feels roughly the same.

Type UFO in Google Earth to Find, if Not the Colonel, The New York Times

Some YTMND.com ("You're the man now, dawg!") user made a subsite titled "Type UFO in on Google Earth to Find This" to show people that, when they type "UFO" into Google Earth, they'll see the face of the KFC Colonel at 1 Old Mill St. in Nevada.

I always thought there was something funky about that chicken. All those legs in a bucket just never seemed natural.

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Chatterous Gets You Laid, Spoken Word Promotes Healthcare, Starbucks Points Fingers, Acura Sucks Up

- There's something about spoken word poetry that makes us clench our glutes. You know, like someone about to suffer something unavoidably bad. This spoken word PSA by "MIKE-E" for the American Cancer Society wasn't terrible, but we winced all through it anyway.

- Google Maps, meet GTA IV.

- So Twitter went down for just exactly too long, and in that time frame Jolie O'Dell discovered Chatterous (now in alpha!). It will get you laid.

- New Google killer on the loose. You know what's fun? Googling "Google killer".

- Starbuck's profits fell 28 percent compared to this time last year. Bummer. CEO Schultz says the crappy numbers "reflect the sharp weakening US consumer environment."

- Acura's TSX hopes to endear itself to Millennials by pointing out how we don't sleep. EVER. Printwork by RPA.

Guy Ritchie Fuses Glory to Mayhem in Nike Soccer Spot

For client Nike, 72andSunny tapped Guy Ritchie to direct "The Next Level," a two-minute romp in the skin of an Arsenal soccer player.

Get a throbbing sense of a day in the life: star chums in your face, women kissing your fingertips, vomming behind the water coolers, knocking teeth out in the shower, admiring the other guy's sportier socks.

All that grit-dipped glam for the taking. Don't you wanna go quit school and play soccer?

Go be a hero and bend it.

Imagine if Every Douche Had a Rogue Mustache

I was probably sold on this video around the time Big Man on Campus went, "Cat gut. She's got more torque than most players can deal with."

The spot, for Wahl Trimmers, was put together by Leo Burnett, Detroit; Caviar Films, Beast Editorial, and Pluto and Milagro Post. If you're wondering why it needed so many supple fingers, you haven't watched it yet. Manipulating the furry rogue required genius.

Funny about Leo Burnett though. Isn't that the agency whose creatives grew 'staches for charity?

Here's Something to Help You Feel a Brit Different

To distract from the UK's buzzkill of a climate, VisitBritain highlights the quirky Brits. (Think The Office, Spamalot and fried fish with mushy peas. They have much to teach us.)

Be a Brit Different (get it? GET IT?!!!!!) avails users to British bloggers and preferred music and movies, in addition to must-see destinations. It's a culture extravaganza.

Bloggers, which are heavily promoted, were recruited for their "Britishness." Content won't be filtered; then again, I haven't seen anything super-racy -- although Henry from London sorta reminds me of Bruce Campbell for Old Spice.

TBWA's TEQUILA\ built the site and conducted online outreach. The site targets East and West Coast Boomers that did the touristy travel stuff and want Real Culture.

Amazon Needs a Nudge with that Newfangled 'Email Marketing' Thing

Dear Amazon.com Customer,

As someone who purchased video games or music from genres included in the game, you might be interested in our Grand Theft Auto IV music downloads store.

This is part of an email pitch that preceded a GIGANTOR graphic inviting me to "Download music from Grand Theft Auto IV."

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Jetblue Improves Flying Experience with Shiny New Euphemism

To keep wandering eyes from noticing it has stopped being cheap and its service has gotten all gnarly, Jetblue has launched "Happy Jetting" -- a campaign that encourages you to think that when you fly Jetblue, you ain't flyin', baby. You're jetting.

Right now I'm loving how the site, which is supposed to preach the benefits of Jetblue's user friendliness and "jetting" philosophy, hosts jack beyond an error page.

Way to jet, idiots!

Come On, Guy, Everybody Loves a Pun!

Pay no attention to the gorgeous woman used in every shot of this teaser. We're not even sure why she's there. The real star of this promotional series is ... wait for it...

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