'She's the Driver?' Oh God.

Nothing sells a car like the sight of a meek-looking hottie who drives like she's out of her fucking mind. Just ask the directors of The Fast and the Furious or The Italian Job.

With that lesson learned, here's an Ogilvy spot for the Mercedes Benz SLK.

A slightly crippling accent doesn't hurt either. (Remember orgasmum?) You're sure to win the fetishists. And isn't it cute how she tries to say "Fifteen percent -- up front!" like a bad-ass but just can't?

Careful, Miracle-Gro, You're Showing Your Age.

Maybe because it's not hip to the existence of guerrilla gardening, Miracle-Gro is using '70s pop and a catchy new slogan to staple a sense of cool to its 60-year-old plant food product.

Under the wince-worthy slogan "It's Gro Time," this dated spot jams in print-supported phrases like "dirt manicure" and "tomato mojo" while gardeners jiggle bare midriffs and mist plants to "I Believe in Miracles (You Sexy Thing)."

God, how hopelessly lame. Thanks to ML Rogers, New York for all this quiet angst.

Newsflash! Jane Goodall Is Not Dead!

Who knew? She was old when I was a kid but apparently, she's still alive and well and hangin' with the chimps. Or at least helping Green Mountain Coffee Roasters preserve chimpanzee habitats in Tanzania's Gombe National Park. The effort aims to lessen area farmer's economic difficulties and to end the clear cutting or forests. Oh, and to make sure the region can continue to make coffee so Green Mountain can continue to make money.

Converting the Converted, and Other Tricks of the Light

On Wednesday at the One Show Festival, design guru Brian Collins illustrated the power of branding with a history lesson about pirates.

Or rather, just their flag.

Back in 1748, if you had the misfortune of being a single bobbing ship at sea when a tattered vessel with a skull and crossbones crossed your path, you knew instantly what to expect.

"You're fucked." (Collins, verbatim.)

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Conversations with People that Did Not Win One Show College Competition

Tonight was the awards ceremony for the One Show College Competition, for which schools nationwide turned in their top student portolios. See some here.

Doritos -- which in the last couple of years has devoted much of its promotional budget to lobbing cash at "creative" users (1, 2, 3) -- also solicited a campaign brief seeking "Doritos advertising that is iconic as Doritos."

The word "iconic" sparked interesting conversation after the show. Links to video below.

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Attention David Beckham Lovers! Sharpie Spot to Give Good Look

David Beckham has been tapped by Sharpie and will appear in a new commercial for the pen maker airing July 15. Press information says the spot "shows Beckham using a Sharpie to autograph a variety of unusual items for fans, but when the time comes to return the Sharpie to its owner, Beckham resists. Ultimately, his quick moves and clever thinking lead to a happy ending, but in the process, viewers get a good laugh - and a good look at Beckham."

We we do hope that's indeed true because laughing is good therapy as is drooling over a hottie such as Beckham himself.

GM's Aveo Robot Beats Old Joke to Death

OK so BMW did the Mini robot thing. Then Citroen did it. Then it got spoofed. Then Sony spoofed it to promote a game. Then some kid spoofed the Sony Spoof. Then Citroen returned with a skating robot. Then...nothing happend for two years.

Now, moving only as quickly as GM can, Chevrolet is out with its own nod to the roof top dancing car robot thing turning the whole thing into a lame, two years too late joke. OK, so it's a little bit funny. Strawberry Frog Amsterdam created it.

Audrey Tautou the New Chanel No. 5 Girl

Following the footsteps of Nicole Kidman, actress Audrey Tautou will step into the starring role of a Jean-Pierre Jeunet-directed commercial for Chanel No. 5. Tautou is best known for her appearances in Amelie and in The Da Vinci Code with Tom Hanks. The commercial will air in early 2009.

Chuck's Richer than Sin, But He Won't Treat You Like a Dog

I spent most of the weekend catching up on Desperate Housewives and Lost on ABC.com. As a result, I got really chummy with Charles Schwab's "Talk to Chuck" campaign.

"Talk to Chuck" brings interpolated rotoscoping -- the process of animating over live action -- to a fresh audience. (Think Waking Life and A Scanner Darkly. All the effects without the substance abuse!)

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Darfur Cause Aims for Paris Hilton-Like Publicity

Forrester Senior Analyst Jeremiah Owyang has written a concise summary with insightful commentary on the Louis Vuitton brand-jacked Darfur t-shirt situation. Briefly, an artist, Nadia Plesner, created a t-shirt showing a Darfur child holding an LV bag and a little dog.

Imagery sound familiar? It should and that's Plesner's point who explains, "My illustration Simple Living is an idea inspired by the media's constant cover of completely meaningless things [ie. Paris Hilton]. My thought was: Since doing nothing but wearing designer bags and small ugly dogs apparently is enough to get you on a magazine cover, maybe it is worth a try for people who actually deserves and needs attention."

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