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Giorgio Armani to Unveil David Beckham's Junk On June 18 at 5PM at Macy's in San Francisco, Giorgio Armani will unleash a giant poster with a David Beckham image from the Emporio Armani Underwear campaign. Shield your eyes little ones as the big one may be too much for you to handle. That or scrawny Victoria who'll, no doubt, be there to make sure her husband's junk remains her own, might smack you with one of her fake boobs. Even Pissing and Sex Are Considered Sports by Hyundai To cement its position as a dedicated supporter and sponsor of all sports - not just Olympics and football championships - Hyundai, with help from Duval Guillaume Brussels has launched a new campaign illustrating its support for even the most obscure sports such as dung beetle ball rolling, office waste basketball, pissing and, my favorite, bedroom Olympics. Check out all the ads here. Verizon's Dumb Dad Still Acting Like an Idiot Yup, it seems the Verizon Dumb Dad is still alive and well. In this commercial for the Motorola Q9, a doofus idiot who's texting while walking down his neighborhood sidewalk, bumps into some pipes and forgets who he is. Well, thanks to the Moto Q 9c, he can look himself up and search for directions to his house where, upon arrival, his wife (one assumes), screams, "get out!", to which loser Verizon Dumb Dad responds, "That voice. Now I remember." The only reason Verizon gets away with this shit is a.) they are the best network and can do whatever the hell they want and b.) the pendulum hasn't yet swung back to where it's cool to make women look like the air headed refrigerator models they once were. AIG Uses Risk-Averse Five-Year-Old to Push Insurance Packages Nothing warms the heart like the sight of a kid schooling his parents on the importance of travel insurance. Also see Did you have a nightmare?: "Dents are easy to fix, but liability's the nightmare! Ah, don't get up. I'll tuck myself in." I kinda want to hug him. Or buy him a graphing calculator. You know what would be awesome? If this kid and the Umpqua lemonaire got together and built the ultimate risk-free lemonade stand, equipped with biodegradable paper cups (to appease the environmentalists) and curved corners for child safety. Starbucks Goes Bananas, Mennen Spiffs, Cusack Talks Dirty Politics, Microsoft Bans 'Gay' - Can your manly-man hair pass the caress test? - If a chaste mermaid won't save Starbucks, maybe frozen bananas will. (Ugh, dude.) - Some celebrities educate the public on the Burma situation; John Cusack tallies similarities between McCain and Bush. MoveOn, as usual, is helping raise money to get the ad on air. - Apparently the Copyright Nazis are after more than just pirates these days. In the UK, you can be prosecuted for playing music too loud or playing it for callers on hold without a license. From now on, let's just keep all music secret and see how the record industry fares. - Baseball and the Tour de France aren't the only sports to disillusion one-time fans; almost half of Advertising Age readers believe the NBA rigs its games. I fondly await the day Canadians lose faith in hockey. Oh wait, many - already - have. - A Microsoft Xbox Live group banned a player because he used "gay" in his gamer tag, "RichardGaywood." Upon discovering that was the guy's name, they BANNED IT ANYWAY. Microsoft, you charmers, you. Learn to Distinguish Between Storks. One of Them Isn't Carrying Children Some storks bring you babies. But watch out for the one with the glasses; he's got nothing but pickles. Publicis & Hal Riney/SF is helping to Yahoo Castrates Microsoft Talks, Forms Search Relationship with Google Yahoo to Microsoft: no, you can't have the company, and no, you can't buy our search, either. This follows FOUR MONTHS of hardcore media drama between the two of them. Here's a word from stock market angryman Carl Icahn (who, btw, is trying to oust Y!'s board): In my opinion it will be extremely difficult for Microsoft or any other companies to trust, work with and negotiate with a company that would go to these lengths [to scuffle a deal]. Bell Bails, a52 Honored, Obama Fights Smears, Tots Tattoo, and MTLB Beats Down Bad PRs - Global marketing guy Jeff Bell is leaving Microsoft. He's held his post since 2006. - a52, which produced the visual effects for that Monster.com spot with the people on the rails, won some love at the Association of Independent Commercial Producer's 17th Annual Show. This is the 11th year its work was recognized by the AICP. To celebrate, it created a YouTube chronology of all the a52 spots that have been honored by the Show. Watch them. - Obama for America has launched an online news site to fight the smears against his name. - Make the Logo Bigger created guidelines for the ideal PR. If you don't meet 'em, you're not just getting trashed; you'll be marked as SPAM. - Not ad-related, but hey: here is a rhinoplasty tutorial. After a few slides, even YOU could do it! Well, maybe she could. - Speaking of tattooing tots, here are some tattoos for tots. Prepare them early on for their future as this guy. (That tribal-inspired tattoo actually contains the coordinates for $50K and keys to a Volvo.) Crest Makes Even Playground Destruction Seem Pleasant Hmm. Nothing like a good tube of Crest to gloss over the travesty of modernization at the cost of childhood play. Yes, Crest can, in fact, make even the destruction of a playground in favor of a power plant seem, well, pleasant. Here's another. This one makes even lice seem like a good thing. Microsoft Angles for the Favor of Procrastinators To promote its MSN toolbar -- "Jet fuel for procrastinators!" -- Microsoft launched Start Procrastinating. You can either upload videos of yourself, flicking rubber bands around while putting off your creative brief, or watch three really stupid videos of a couple of dudes surf balling, folding shirts and sharpshooting. Actually, the surf balling video's all right. Start Procrastinating's no Clearification, which was appealing but a promotional flop for Microsoft. And avid procrastinators download StumbleUpon, not MSN. Sorry, champs. Speaking of StumbleUpon, look what it found me! Free range workers. Yum. 
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