Carvel Ice Cream Advergame Might Get the Kids Grounded

"Honey, what are you doing in there? You've been on the computer all afternoon."

"Playing CookiePussTeroids!"

".......What was that?"

"Mo-om, I'm saving Cookie Puss from getting a faceful of cone!"

If that's not sufficiently crash-worthy, "CookiePussTeroids" is also spelled wrong.

A-B Ditches Energy Bevs, Sleepers Solicited, IDA Seeks Airwave Rejects

- It Didn't Air is another awards show that aspires to tickle the creative babies that were too ugly or flawed to make it into waking life. Strictly for radio ads -- and only $75 to enter!!

- Anheuser-Busch is going to stop selling energy drinks. Which is probably wise, because tipsy + hyper = high likelihood of Death by Freak Accident. Typically on a train track.

- Mega-Bang turns bald, bearded, nearsighted men into repetitive sex gods. Also, check out his bathrobe insignia. It's a phallus. With an orbit.

- Mattress Firm is looking for the most sleepless person in America. The winner gets a new mattress and a free consultation from a shrink -- er, sleep expert. To enter, write an essay or submit a video, though I think the latter's preferred because that's what all the cool kids do.

'Two Bedrooms, Two Baths, and a Free Ride on My Electric Pony'

To promote certain houses on the Village Homes lot (Denver, CO), marketing director Barb Anderson said the company used a kiddie-ride. You know, like the coin-op space ships at grocery stores.

"One of the important influencers on a home purchase is the kids. At the end of the day ... the home with the kiddie ride is sure to get remembered by the home-buyer family," she said.

Gimmicky, but I can see the charm.

Kiddie Rides USA (KRUSA) of Denver, CO provides machines for this and other interested parties (doctors offices, car dealerships and reporters in midlife crises have also tried them). KRUSA also claims to be the last indy kiddie ride company left in the country.

JWT Uses 'Mad Men' DVD Set to Wank Off

JWT plans to run a spot in Mad Men's upcoming DVD set, spelling MAD MEN out with letters and logos from its client roster. Tagline: "Making brands famous since 1864." See it right here.

"All I'm looking for is a nod of the head and recognition for what JWT is," CEO Bob Jeffrey whines. Which begs the question: from who?

To answer that riddle, AdWeek gleaned perspective from Chris Vollmer, a Booz Allen-based media guy: "It's an industry play rather than a consumer play, because I can't see how it would make sense to a consumer."

Aww. JWT needs a shoulder-punch from its peers. Before leaving work today, call your nearest JWT creative and tell 'em you really like what they're doing with, I don't know, Kit Kat.

In an xD RS, Lava Doesn't Even Sizzle

To promote yet another limited edition vehicle, the xD RS, Scion went all Hot Lava. The subsite -- produced by SolutionSet -- features a bubbling volcano with a gray xD RS in the foreground; an explosion of lava makes it that wild red-orange color we love so much.

I find the bubbling noises comforting. They remind me of this one time we cooked a rabbit alive, invented some nifty rhymes, and put a curse on Bob Dole.

See print variant with vehicle specs. Beyond magazines and the 'net, expect to see "smoking" billboards, and street teams clad in flameproof uniforms, all from the fancy folk at ATTIK.

And while you contemplate getting an xD RS before all 2000 run out, see previous efforts for the limited edition xB Series 5 and Scion tC.

Ditch Cannes for Coney! Here Are 8 Reasons Why

Ric Kallaher, the photographer who took all those awesome shots at One Show in May, ditched the Cannes International Ad Festival for the Coney Island freak show, otherwise known as the Second Annual Wrath of Cannes.

And he's not sorry.

"Who needs Cannes?! Beter yet: who WANTS Cannes?!" he concluded, having obviously returned a changed man.

"THIS is everything an advertising awards show should be: last minute, no hassle entries open to anyone & everyone, free beer, rockin' surfer-guitar music (blasted out by the ever-cool Tarantinos), raucous fun on the beach, and on-site, in full-view judging for clients that could never exist for ad campaigns that could never air.

"But, hey, with modern mobile platforms, why not?!"

Below: 8 Freakish Things We Learned About Wrath of Cannes. (Illustrated.)

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Armor All Plays Hot or Not with Champion Racecars

Need a brainless diversion? Visit Choose the Champion.

Think fast: two cars pitted against each other. Who wins? Your click makes a winner. Questioning your value? Track your progress. Feeling aggressive? Upload your own car shot. Need a friend? There's a message board, too.

The whole thing is one big fat promotion for Armor All, brought to you by the immortal folks at Clorox.

Coupons available here.

Hallelujah, It's Raining American IOUs!

To promote its clothing line, fledgling brand NEWYORKESE poured American dollars* onto attendees of Pitti Immagine Uomo, a major fashion event.

The dollars featured the NEWYORKESE logo and the phrase "Tu vuo fa l'americano ma si Made in Italy" -- "you want to be American, but you were Made in Italy" -- the title of a song by Renato Carosone.

CEO Gianfilippo Fontana of NEWYORKESE called the effort part of a "low budget advertising campaign." She added, "Thankfully the dollar exchange was very affordable."

Don't thank us, honey. Thank the Big Man in Office.

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Sorry, Samantha. You're a Girl. It Happens.

To promote The Travel Channel's Passport to Great Weekends with Samantha Brown, Moroch put together a spot where Samantha returns to work -- only to find naughty colleagues foiling her office.

"Aren't you supposed to be traveling?" one accuses.

"I was," she snaps, moody and tired and still dragging her luggage. "The new show is called Passport to great WEEKENDS. It's a weekend."

"You're not gone all week!" one concludes, squinting in concentration.

But the best line comes at the end, when she throws open a door full of styrofoam surprise and growls, "They'd never do this to Bourdain."

'Son, I'm Glad You Like Your New Phone, But Let's Discuss Your Window-Wanking.'

To promote the Secret touchscreen and 5-mp camera phone, LG puts it in the hands of a stalker who uses it to "interact" with a sleeping woman in another apartment. Wait for the part where he sighs, and the phone shakes, and the covers come off!

Engadget's take: "early-90s softcore voodoo porn." But it gets better. No promo porn is complete without the cheap comedic ending that makes everything feel safely commercial again. Well, unless you're P. Diddy.

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