Mom Wants Real Connection, Not a Best Buy Gift Card

The aptly named agency Mother, New York gives us Maternacord, the ultimate Mother's Day surprise.

Our favourite scene from the promo video:

Daughter: "It's tingling."

Mom: "That means it's working."

Why get Mom an iPod when you can umbilically reconnect? It's so deliciously creepy.

One of Our Own Wins 'Survivor'

We Twittered this (yes, we are one of "those" people) last night but it deserves wider recognition. We, as an industry can be proud LA-based Muse Communications Senior Account Executive Earl Cole won Survivor last night with a shut out victory. Not only did everyone on the jury vote for Cole, the man's name was never written down by anyone during any tribal council.

While we were rooting for Yau-man because he played game so ingeniously, we're happy level-headed Earl got the vote. Dreamz did his own style of manipulation but that wasn't enough to distance himself from the car winner curse. Cassandra. Well, there isn't much to say about her.

Congrats Earl.

Kraft Foists Illogical Idiocy on Agencies

If it weren't bad enough agencies have to deal with needless agency consultants making money for doing what clients are too lazy to do themselves, now they have to deal with the illogical idiocy common sense-challenged companies like Kraft are now foisting upon them. Kraft, in twisted logic not seen since CareerBuilder fired its agency because the agency's add didn't make the USA Today Top Ten, is requiring agencies participating in a review to not only cede ownership of pitched concepts (a not so uncommon practice) but also to accept liability for those concepts if they end up being used and cause legal problems in the future ( a new and extremely stupid practice).

Someone please help us here. We'll say it again. Kraft wants agencies to give up ownership of any presented idea. Then it wants to be able to sue the agency that presented those ideas if they cause legal trouble in the future...even though the agency doesn't even own the idea any more! We have a headache.

Draft/FCB Celebrates Glorification of Bad Ass Mofo Stereotype

George Parker has the inside dope on Draft/FCB's excitement for the recent account win and work it did for the new Electronic Arts game, Def Jam Icon, yet another "Yo mutha fucka, you fuck with me, I beat the shit out of your sorry ass" cultural stereotype that makes one particular segment of people look like pea-brained idiots with nothing better to do than self-genocide themselves out of existence. In support of that stellar accomplishment and lauding the agency's teamwork, Draft/FCB's three top dudes, Howard, Jonathon and Lawrence, in an internal memo, blather platitudes such as "tearing down geographical silos, tapping into cross-office expertise and growing our business" and "working together seamlessly in our new agency model...as a result of a global creative rumble." This is the genius it took win the account and promote a game who's sole purpose is to let kids idolize bad ass mutha fuckas as some class of hero? Eesh. Be careful what you attach your internal memos to.

Via is Like 'The Wonder Years' of Ad Agencies

Via's a little late with its 2006 year in review (here's 2005) but they took pains to assure us they didn't scrap the idea. Instead they were working hard to cram in every last inside joke they could.

There's even a background song that gives the whole thing a high school yearbook vibe.

The 2006 review is super-long and more than a little sentimental. It reeks of a nostalgia that's confusing because, after all, these aren't our memories.

We did remember this, though.

10 Ton Says Entertainment is Key to Engagement

With a dependable combination of vivid colour, fast cuts, screenplay dialogue and campy melodrama, the video at Get Engaged Quickly accomplishes what we thought it wouldn't: it had us watching until the end.

Get Engaged Quickly is a promotional effort for 10 Ton, an agency that posits the rules of audience engagement have changed, and they hold the golden key: entertaining, rather than intrusive, video.

It's not like we didn't already know people want to be entertained and not pitched. But now that there's somebody to pay to think on behalf of the major players, perhaps we'll start seeing some good stuff.

We don't buy the notion that the best virals are by nature non-corporate. The best virals are by nature authentic. If you can be authentic, you're going to move people. Consider the (exhaustive) success of Dove Evolution.

Guess it helps to have Oprah accolades too.

Podcasters Get Magazine, AOL Up, JWT Down, Imus Sues

- In an odd sort of 180, bloggers and podcasters now have their own print magazine called Blogger & Podcaster. Scoble Graces the cover.

- We had a contest a week or so ago and awarded tickets to five Adrants readers for the Future of Online Advertising conference. If you didn't win here, youo can check out the contest over at Beyond Madison Avenue.

- Maybe this will finally answer the question asked but not answered by some network interviewer years ago about what exactly Avenue A/Razorfish does.

- Who knew? Certainly no one expected it after the merger but AOL's ad sales are up 40 percent and have helped Time Warner look pretty for for Q1.

- Well that's no fun. JWT Chicago has cut 30 people after losing some Kraft Foods business.

- Imus is planning to sue CBS over firing. Please. Can this just go away!

- Clear Channel is selling 362 stations for $820 million as part of a plan to go private.

- If you need to bitch about products or brands, the newly launched Test Freaks gives you the place to do so.

- After losing the account seven years ago, Kentucky-based Doe Anderson, a won it back Wednesday.

Farmers Get Feminine in Winning NAMA Ads

Agency Yamamoto Moss Mackenzie walked out of the National Agri-Marketing Association Awards with first place for a series of ads they did for John Deere Credit's Farm Plan.

The ads involve burly farmers taking bubble baths and walking decked-out little dogs. The idea goes that the Farm Plan lets them focus on la dolce vida.

It's odd enough that an association for agri-marketing in specific exists. Beyond that, it's entirely possible that the salt of the earth may also be preoccupied with exfoliating.

Lack of American Food Sends Goodby Creative Team Back Home

We love these little nuggets concerning the real reason why people change jobs. A tipster tells us, "Two Wieden + Kennedy creatives are heading back to Goodby after only slightly more than a year in Europe. Creative team Hunter Hindman and Rick Condos have asked for their old jobs back in San Francisco, The spin: family reasons.The reality: they constantly bitched about the food and lack of American things and missed Rich Silverstein's hand on creative management style." So there you have it. Even more irrelevantly important news you can't live without.

Wexley Wears, Smirnoff Explained, Spiderman Crawls, Ninja Returns

- Now you can get t-shirts from that weirdly-named agency Wexley School for Girls.

- If you were ever curious about the history of Smirnoff Vodka, Paranoid US and JWT(New York) have crammed hundreds of years into sixty seconds.

Aside from the fact all that nudity and porn seems to slow DailyMotion to a crawl (and the play/pause button in the middle of the video that prevents you from getting a decent screenshot), here's a pretty cool stop motion commercial for Big Yellow self storage.

- Spiderman is all over New York.

- Oh look! Another ad agency makes its debut in Second Life.

- Seems the Ninja is now a trend. First G4 did it. Now, Oregon State Lottery is going Ninja.

- George Parker says the new Maytag campaign sucks.