Passport Forgotten, Bogusky Elfed, Apple Spoofed, Portals Die

- Kid runs away from home, forgets passport, TV show promoted.

- Alex Bogusky gets his elf on over at Office Max.

- If you're going to spoof a Mac/PC ad for your holiday card, the least you could do what make it good. TM Advertising didn't.

- Joe Jaffe examines the long, slow death of the portal.

We'd All Be Happier If Julie Roehm Was Still At Wal-Mart

You know what this whole Wal-Roehm scandal is all about? Nothing. She just got caught. Hundreds of agency and client-side executives do exactly what she allegedly did and no one ever hears about it. We're not saying that makes it right. We're just saying.

But let's examine further. She's accused of having dinner with agency execs. What marketing director hasn't done that? She's accused of taking rides in ad execs fancy cars. Who wouldn't want to do that it offered? She accused of indicating to an agency exec said agency had the upper hand. Who hasn't been optimistic when discussing business with a potential partner? She's accused of accepting gifts from ad agencies courting the Wal-Mart account. Oh please. What agency on this earth doesn't do that when trying to win an account and what marketing director doesn't slide them into their briefcase before anyone notices?

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Lego Ads Fake. Creators Apologize, Agency Fires Their Asses

Well, so much for those Lego ads. And so much for their creators. Today, the creators of the ads, Black Wu and Darren Cheung have acknowledged the ads are, in fact, fake, and that they were created as a "personal trial to challenge creativity." Commenting on the creation of these ads, they state, "We got so carried away that we came out with the stupidest idea that upset a broad audience. This was obviously done without the knowledge of any of the Saatchi & Saatchi managers."

Another letter from Saatchi & Saatchi Guangzhou China Head of Admin Ms. Cherry Yang clarifies the ads did not officially emanate from Saatchi, no one inside the organization was aware of their existence and that Wu and Cheung "have been dismissed today as their irresponsible personal behavior have severely affected our company's professional image." Well, there you have it. Pair creates spec ads to gain notoriety. Stupidly attaches employer's name to ads. Piss off employer. Get fired.

Via is the S.H.I.T

With the appropriate acronym, S.H.I.T, Via's Santa Hunters Investigative Team is a collection of videos that documents the agency's search for the elusive Santa Clause. It's the agency's version of its holiday card for clients and friends. Our favorite is the downloadable "We are the S.H.I.T" buddy icon.

Save Face This Party Season With Fake Business Cards

You know you're going to do something stupid at some holiday party this year so why not protect yourself from the morning after guilt by pretending to be someone else during your evening of frivolity? Now, you can with Alternate Identity Business Cards, an interesting service from, yes, an ad agency. DDB to be specific. Now this is way better (and more useful) than some Christmas card or video.

Ill Effects of YouTube Beget Illish Agency Holiday Invite

Back the in day when YouTube was just a twinkle in those soon to be billionaire's eyes, ad agencies used to produce professional, high quality, elegant Christmas (excuse us...Holiday) cards and videos. Kinda like the work they produced for their clients. Now, post-YouTube orgasm, every agency (we're not going to mention Agency.com) seems to think it has to go out and buy a shitty video camera, hand it to an intern, tell hem to shake the camera on purpose, edit the thing with a sledge hammer and barf up some consumer-generated crap and pass it off as some sort of uber-cool, hipsterati-laden creation...kind of like the work they now produce for their clients.

Speaking of barf, TBWA backward slash Chiat backward slash Day New York upchucked a video to YouTube full of tasty projectile chunks - an apparent highlight of their 2005 Christmas party - as an invitation to this years party where, we assume, all kinds of bile will blow. Do they want people to go to this party?

Publicis Plunders, Butt Banned, Santa Subserves

- Publicis Groupe wants to be advertising's God. Yes, it want full reign over the industry and is on it's way to accomplishing that goal by having acquisition discussions with Interpublic Group. George Parker thinks it's all a "giant fuck up."

_ Maine doesn't want to look at Santa's Butt while drinking beer. Yes, we know. It's strange.

- Here's a little holiday time-waster from Signature Marketing Solutions: Subservient Santa.

Unrestrained Creativity Begets Funny Agency Christmas Video

OK. OK, we laughed. We couldn't help it. We love a sick Christmas (uh...holiday) video and what better to kick off the agency holiday card bonanza than this video card from TBWA\Vancouver sent to us by Mack Simpson. This, my friends, is what we get when creatives are not constrained by pesky creative briefs and annoying client approval processes.

Mortar Tells Us Just How Sick We Are

How's your brand holding up? Badly? Moderately? Google-caliber? Psh, right. No matter how well you think you are, you'll need to come in for a check-up.

With the Brand-o-Meter, SF-based agency Morter 360 exploits a technique psychiatrists and Munchausen's-afflicted mothers have used for time immemorial. Whether you're a powerhouse or flophouse, no moment is riper for some Mortar expertise. And if you happen to be confused about why you need to see the good doctor, read this soothing explanation.

Clever work. But did we have to read a whole media kit just to get to the lead form? It was like trying to reach Oz. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Pillows Drugged, Shows Pulled, Agencies Bought, Mullen Cooks

- Perhaps in yet another effort to convince people to choose a certain drug, their are now pillows branded to look like pills.

- Cynopisis reports, "CBS has pulled 3 LBS. from the schedule after just three airings. The show debuted with a modest 2.9 A18-49 rating, and its most recent airing pulled an even more modester 2.4 demo rating. Filling the time period for the time being - reruns."

- After years of negotiations. Omnicom has scooped up Amsterdam-based independent shop 180.

- For those who can't seem to acquire enough friends on MySpace or Facebook, John Brock tells us now there's Fake Your Space, a sit on which you can pay $.99 per month for each "hot friend" of your choice who will send you two comments each week to make you feel special.

- The famed Anastasia Goodstein of Ypulse will host a roundtable discussion on "What Youth Brands Can Learn From The Action Sports World" at the Ypulse Teen Media Mashup on December 5, 2006 in San Diego.

- This has nothing to do with advertising or does it? A clandestine promotion (not that they need it) for Grey's Anatomy?

- Oxfam America is looking for pro-bono pring and online media placement opportunities for its Unwrapped campaign. Interested parties can contact [email protected].

- If you want to see Mullen Creative director Edward Boces holding a giant cookie above his head, check out the agencies just-released recipe book from their famed, in-house kitchen.

- Apparently lumber can not be sold without the image of a hot woman peering out at you