Kiefer Sutherland Screams Japander-Style For Calorie Mate

Our friends over at Japander bring us so much glee, delivering us our favorite American movie stars and celebrities in ads they'd never be caught dead doing in America. In this ad 24 star Kiefer Sutherland runs through a train full of plaid-skirted Japanese school girls 24-style shouting "yes, yes, no, let me through" until he finally gets his Calorie Mate.

Scarlett Johansson Joins L'Oreal Celebu-Campaign

Nabbing $4 million for her efforts, actress Scarlett Johansson will appear in L'Oreal's celebrity-focused ad campaign joining Eva Longoria, Mila Jovovich Andie MacDowell and Beyonce Knowles. Johansson's previous celebu-campaign appearances include Calvin Klein and Louis Vuitton. Reportedly, Johansson will appear in ads displaying a range of L'Oreal-enhanced hair colors.

Dear Hilary Duff, Gain Some Weight

Within the span of two days, we saw two of your movies, Cheaper by the Dozen 2 and A Cinderella Story. (Don't worry, we're not stalking you. There's two kids here to entertain) Clearly, these are two very different movies. Clearly, you look very different in each. Clearly, you look far better in A Cinderella Story. What are you and every other young Hollywood celeb thinking when you choose to loose so much weight you end up looking a collection of bones with skin colored rubber stretched over them? You do know you look really bad, don't you? Mary Kate and Lindsay have managed to return from skeletal oblivion and we know you can too. Grab some pizza. Grab some McDonald's. Grab anything with more than 100 calories.

It's true the camera adds ten pounds but when you're 20-30 pounds underweight, even the camera can't help. For some reason, you seem to think you look better as a skeleton and, perhaps, feel guys will find you more attractive. You are wrong. Very wrong. There are these things called curves. You've heard of them. Those things that stick out behind you and in front of you. If, for some reason, you can't seem to remember what curves are, check out Scarlett Johanson. Or Jennifer Love Hewitt. Or Jessica Simpson. Or Jessica Alba. Or Angelina Jole. Or Katherine Heigl. Or Denise Richards. Or Michelle Trachtenberg. Or Mandy Moore. Or Amanda Bynes. Or Anne Hathaway. Or Joanna Levesque (Jojo). Or Elisha Cuthbert. Or Lacey Chabert. Or Jewel. Or Jessica Biel. Or Alexa Davalos. Or Amanda Righetti. Or Chyler Leigh. Or Rachel Nichols. Or Charlotte Church. Or Keeley. Or Nikki Cox. Or Mandy Amano. See? Get it? Now go get your curves back, Hilary. For the sake of your health and your career and your fans.

UPDATE: Not that Hilary reads Adrants as many of the commenters seem to believe, but if she does, this article was meant, as many of the commenters do not seem to believe, to be helpful. To be supportive. To be well intentioned. While jarringly blunt, all we're saying is be careful of the Hollywood machine. While Hilary, who's been in the machine for years, knows full well what the machine can do, an unsolicited kick in the ass from the outside world might be worth paying attention to.

Unheard of Country Bans Foreign Models From Ad Campaigns

Not that anyone's heard of Belarus nor is there any worry it will affect the world's modelling and advertising industry in any way, the country's president has introduced a law that prevents foreign models from appearing in any of the country's ad campaigns. Why do we even report this stuff?

Samsung Embraces Mobile Phone As Video Medium

We're told Samsung Mobile has launched AnyFilms.net a site, created and implemented by Margeotes Fertitta Powell and The Barbarian Group, which features serial and interactive videos under the auspices of Ubiquitous Films and exec produced by Broken Flowers and Alexander producer Jon Kilik to highlight the cell phone as a rising video medium. The first serial film section of the site features two films. The first film Across the Hall has been directed by Alex Merkin, starring Entourage actor Adrian Grenier while another, "GiGi" was directed by Mark Dippe, the director of the feature film Spawn. Across the Hall was engaging enough to keep us watching until the end.

The second section of the site is really interesting and provides six icons that can be dragged into different sections of a grid which then reveals portions of previously shot footage, featuring ten characters and a mysterious suitcase, that make up a mystery. The mystery can be solved by sliding the six icons into enough different positions on the grid enough times producing enough different footage to offer clues. We spent a good amount of time with it but didn't want to go through all 11,000 permutations and combinations. Suffice to say, it kept us wanting more.

The site officially launches December, 24 but is live now. While the site purports to be all about dowloadable video, oddly, there seems to be no obvious means to download any of the content. No matter. We'd rather watch it comfortably at home rather than hunched over a cell phone fighting off angry commuters on the MTA. Oh wait. They're on strike.

The site is being seeded and promoted across weblogs by HyperHappen, an agency whose website, in a stamp of approval of the medium, is a weblog itself.

Kate Moss Virgin Mobile Commercial Debuts

A week ago we told you Virgin Mobile, treading where no other marketer dared, on December 20 would be launching a spot exclusively in the United Kingdom featuring alleged coke-snorting supermodel Kate Moss. Well, since the dawn of the Internet and sites like Japander, there is, of course, no such thing as a country-exclusive ad campaign so here we have Kate Mosss chatting on the phone with her hyped up agent in a Virgin Mobile shop.

Gisele Bundchen Steps In For Louis Vuitton

Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen will take over where Uma Thurman left off as spokesmodel for fashion house Louis Vuitton. Marc Jacobs explains the shift from celebu-model to supermodel telling FemaleFirst, "We just wanted a fashion icon more than the celebrity thing. I certainly feel that Gisele is iconic and recognized all over the world as Gisele. Also the clothes were hot and colorful, and we thought she would exaggerate the strength and heat of the collection." Is the clebu-model trend over? Not according to Jacobs who added, "There are all sorts of people I'd like to work with."

Lindsay Lohan Learns Marketing Deal Means Appearing in Ads

Perhaps in an effort to put all that obsessive body curvature-related press insanity behind her, actress Lindsay Lohan has, reportedly, signed a marketing deal with fashion label Chanel and has been photographed by Karl Lagerfeld. Displaying a keen sense of awareness regarding the purpose of the photo shoot, Lohan said, "I'm shooting with Karl Lagerfeld! It's amazing. I'm so excited. I think it's for a magazine." Yes, Lindsay, that's where fashion advertising usually appears.

Italian Fashion House Nabs Julia Roberts As Spokesmodel

Coming out of apparent seclusion, Julia Roberts, the formerly high profile, $20 million-per-movie actress has signed a marketing deal, her first it seems, with Italian fashion house Gianfranco Ferre to appear in the company's ad campaign. The campaign, shot by Mario Testino in LA, will run across Europe, Asia and the Middle East. Ads will begin to appear in magazines Spring 2006.

Commenting on his selection of Robert's Ferre gushed as only a fahionista can, "What enchants me most are her presence and manner, her way of being energetic and calm at the same time and her naturally aristocratic self-possession. I love her smile: open, direct, inviting and at the same time captivatingly shy. And I adore her vitality, her natural ease, and her free spirit. Everything about her makes her the authentic Ferre woman."

Britney Spears Fans Launch Anti-Kevin Campaign

As loyal readers know, it's be a long, long time since we've had reason to cover anything related to Britney Spears what with her recent transformation from pop goddess to tabloid trailer trash. But, perhaps, now there's reason to bring Britney back to the pages of Adrants by noting a group of Spears' fans has launched a site called DivorceKevin, a site calling for Brit to dump dancer/hubby Kevin Federline. Sure to provide gossipists plenty of schadenfruede, SoftPedia reports the front page of the site contains two pictures of Spears, one pre-Kevin and one post-Kevin that clearly illustrate her fall from grace. An opening statement on the site reads, "Welcome to the home of the anti-Kevin movement. Are you sick of seeing the train wreck that is Britney and Kevin? Sign the K-Fed Up Petition, grab your Divorce Kevin gear and help Britney remove the boil that is Kevin from herself and her payroll!"

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