The Ruin of a Fine Casino? YOU Decide.

Ogilvy once said that advertisers who believe in the selling power of jingles have never had to sell anything.

And having just watched this Kirshenbaum Bond + Partners-directed spot for the Mohegan Sun casino, where the wannabe cast of Grease 3 molests the tune to Superfreak, we don't just believe it -- we live and breathe it. The lead CD was Izzy DeBellis, the chap responsible for the new Wendy's ads.

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Chinese Wool Ad Feels Something Like Water Torture

This ad for Heng Yuan Xiang, a wool company, pisses China off. We thought it was just the mob overreacting again, but -- having watched about half of it -- we're suddenly jam-packed with repressed rage. A great way to destroy someone's soul would be to pin their eyelids open and force them to sit through this for a little over six minutes.

The spot starts about :09 into the video, so don't be fooled by all that happy baby stuff at the beginning. Here's a positive: after one sitting, you'll feel uncomfortably familiar with all the animals in the Chinese zodiac. AND you'll have three new syllables burned forever into your brain.

Firebrand CEO Laments Company's Demise, Misunderstands Commercials

Fighting to the end, Firebrand CEO Roman Vinoly shared his frustration over doubters of the ads-as-content concept with AdWeek, pondering, "Isn't it proven every Super Bowl and on lots of Web sites where people go? Isn't it proven by being one of the largest categories uploaded to YouTube? Is it that difficult to conceive that great creative created by great artists with all the money in the world could be compelling to consumers even though it's trying to sell a product?"

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Scrimpers, Working Class Heroes Valorized in Fifth Third Ad Campaign

Here's an ad about a middle-aged paperboy working to get braces for his daughter. And here's one about a white collar cog who drives his college beater so he and his pregnant wife can save for their baby.

These spots are part of an ad campaign for Fifth Third Bank called "The Things We Do for Dreams," produced by Anonymous Content for agency OLSON.

We like it. Swimming upstream against a dismal economy, it's nice to see a bank put an optimistic spin on the everyday struggle -- illuminating the decisions we've had to make, and watch our parents make -- rather than distracting us with gimmicky comic relief.

It lends the sense that Fifth Third understands what it's like to do things that aren't fun out of a sense of hope. That's nice. And strangely rare.

Questions Raised Over Whether Hillary Darkened Obama's Pigment

For all her noxious crying and whatnot, Hillary Clinton is a well-honed jungle predator. "Winning. Winning, winning, that's my measure of success -- winning," she barked recently.

Having demonstrated yesterday that she's still a viable contender for the presidency, the question arises: what does it take to win, win, win like Hillary?

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Ford F-150 Comes to Life on Gritty Streets of New England

Watch closely as a Ford F-150 is harnessed into living form by the mercurial fluid of the cold, hard streets. Kind of like Alex Mack.

We like the introductory bad-ass voice that growls, "It caaaame ... from the streets of New England." We're trying to think of other bad-ass things that caaaame from New England. So far all we've got are self-entitled Ivy League cowboys, and maybe Queen Noor.

Oh yeah, and wooly mammoths.

The ad was produced by Arf for TeamDetroit-JWT. Looking for your own breed of truck love? Check out TruckMatch.

Soap Opera Weekly Launches ... Casual Games?

Passions got you all hot and bothered? Cool off with Sudz, one of the eight puzzles that Soap Opera Digest debuted in its new casual gaming section, courtesy of Arkadium. Also available: Mah-jongg, Sudoku, Spider Solitaire and Word Search.

But wait! This isn't just a cheap effort to cash in on idle traffic. Two of the games, Jigsaw and Wordsearch, can be customized to feature the faces of soap stars or current magazine covers. (Looking for love, or at least the right letters? Let Blair Redford show you the way.)

Words and themes can also be given a Dynasty twist, as needed.

Coldwell Tries Funny with Founding Father Staring Contest

There are few things more lame than a competitive staring match between two non-blinking pros, unless those pros are also inanimate objects.

Watch helplessly as the portraits of Coldwell Banker's founding fathers, Colbert Coldwell and Arthur Banker, try to out-stare each other. Well, sort of. They're side by side, so they can't really stare.

It could be worse. (Imagine the moving-mouth and eyeball-hockey effects that challenged advertisers usually impose on stills.)

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Dorky White Chick Magnet Loses Running Man Rights to MC Hammer

We love a guy that's man enough to kiss his own ring, shortly before molesting an empty dance floor with the old-school running man.

Except in this 1989 revisionist history piece for Utah Saints' Something Good '08 (produced by Between the Eyes, London and Sleeper, LA), the running man is new-school, and MC Hammer's a gangster on the market for moves. Guess who he steals his trademark shake from? -- a white guy in Cardiff! Of course.

No word from the good reverend on where he managed to score those sassy genie pants, though.

Want Some Spider with that Sweet Corn?

Arg! Get a load of this print ad for the Travel Channel.

And gross! Watch the spot with the cow heart vending machine.

The funny thing is, something about the slogan -- "One man's weird is another man's wonderful" -- makes us hungry.

The spots were composed by the very weird, slightly wonderful Moroch.