After reading a piece in Snackable Content which ended with, "Well I guess it certainly is one way men can get Giovanni in their pants," we simply had to share with you the story that led to that one liner. Aria Giovanni, the gorgeous and curvaceously top-heavy model, has teamed with Brickhouse Mobile to create Ariamobile, a site where Aria lovers can download videos, photos and ringtones featuring Aria. With images titled "So Big," "Overflow" and "Dangerous Curves," the site offers up all manner of curvaceousness to make using your cell phone more pleasurable than you ever thought possible. Except, of course, when you mother calls and you have to mentally rectify the sound of your mother's voice in your ear with the body of Aria in front of your eyeballs so that your head doesn't explode from the ickyness that combination is sure to conjur.
We're not too sure how many people would turn to a wet suit to improve their ability to contort into various sexual positions but, apparently, that's what Australian wet suit maker Radiator wants us to think. The campaign's tagline clinches it: "Not As Thick. Just As Warm. All the Rubber You'll Need." Innuendo much? This comes to us courtesy of Australian agency The Furnace. All fou of the as in the campaign are available here as a PDF file or here on AdPunch.
Back in the dark ages of the seventies when women thought men with tons of body hair were sexy, the very hairy Burt Reynolds graced the pages of Cosmopolitan with his famed centerfold pose. If only Philips' Shave Everywhere could have been on the scene. My how times and styles have changed. Today, men and women can't seem to get enough hair off their bodies. In the seventies, hair ruled.
Acknowledging hair length and style never stops changing, perhaps DIRECTV thinks it's ahead of the curve here and we should expect some sort of Shave Everywhere backlash with chest and pubic hair making a rampant return after having been tamed for so long. Or, perhaps, as the "Everything should be seen in DERECTV HD. Well not everything" headline indicates, the satellite company just wants to grossly counteract the usual satisfaction one feels when paging through the annual Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue in which this Burt Reynolds ad appears.
This hairy seventies freak show comes to us courtesy of Deutsch LA.
Damn! How's a guy expected to finish a marketing book when it's read to you by a woman sitting on a bed slowly removing her clothing? One would think the publisher authors of this marketing book, Punk Marketing, would at least want you to finish the book before another sort of finish unexpectedly occurs. [Ed. OK, that's just gross! Who the hell wrote that?] This is the second disrobing hottie video the publishers authors have released to promote the book. In the first, the model, Cleo, disrobes on a plush rug in front of a fire. In the second, she's on a bed. In both cases, she's reading excerpts from the book. In both cases, we watched the video instead of picking up the book which has been on the desk in front of us for three weeks. OK. We admit. We've read some of it and we like it.
PETA continues its naked campaign with supermodel Joanna Krupa who appears "naked" in a new anti-fur "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" print campaign for the cause group. In a video, the Polish born model tells us she received a video from her sister that showed dogs being abused in China which motivated her to become part of the campaign. She tells us there's plenty of alternatives to fur although we hope most people, aside from supermodels, of course, don't choose to go naked.
It's our strong feeling that this ad (via Ichlache) is probably not real, but it vibes like the type of thing Durex would do (particularly outside these fine United States) and it gets the point across in a way that makes our own mouths hurt. The copy reading "Really Big..." at bottom left? Totally unnecessary.
Ow.
Wistfully playing off the very, very, very...very old, but never tired, joke about sunglasses allowing one's eyes to secretly gaze towards distractingly enticing imagery undetected is a new Brazilian campaign for Polaroid Eyewear. With the proper Polaroid glasses, the guy in this campaign can enjoy the best of both worlds. The real one where he has to act as though his girlfriend is the only woman in the world for him or the fake world in which every piece of jiggling curvaceousness is his to freely explore and conquer in his fantasies. Some of us thank Polaroid for this bestowing this blessing. Others, not so much. See all three ads here. The campaign is the work of Santa Clara.
Public Relations professionals work hard to get their client's message out to the media. They send press releases. They make personal contact. They send gifts. They take you to lunch. They bribe...uh...no. The good ones don't go that far. So after a PR professional spends a day pitching their client's new ad campaign to the media and only one publication picks it up, a nudist resort blog, it is both depressing and very humorous. Why would a nudist-focused blog pick up an ad launch story? Simple. Because the ads feature nude models.
Yesterday, Bluefly launched a new ad campaign touting Bluefly's ability to eradicate that feeling of nakedness when not fashionably dressed. Or something like that. Thankfully, these nude models are far more attractive than your average nudist colony resident but that would be insensitive and uncaring to say so we're not going to.
Anyway, Bluefly President and CEO Melissa Payner tells us, "This campaign is not about nudity - it's about feeling naked, which is very different. These days more than ever, what you wear is inextricably linked to who you are. Without the 'right' clothes we experience an identity crisis. So our tagline 'That's Why I Bluefly' is the perfect antidote for this condition." OK. See the second ad here.
Valentine's Day approaches and with that, a frenzy to work out how best to show partners you love them. But love is abstract and ridden with dangerous cliches. How many longtime wives still appreciate the stock flowers and chocolates gesture? Lust, however, is flattering, easy to define and easier still to buy for.
Swedish company Lelo takes the traditionally cheesy sex toy and turns it into something to covet with sleek designs, subtle sizes and sweet little nicknames for its models like Lelo, Nea and Lily. It's a little like the iPod of vibrating gadgets. And for Valentine's day Lelo expands its narrow product line to include a limited-edition pleasure toy just for the season.
Lelo Valentine is a soft black ergonomically sound toy that comes in hot pink packaging and has "love" scrawled prettily right at the pleasure point. Created by Jesper Kouthoofd, it'll only set you back $129.
This year you can demonstrate your love - via lust - in no less than 16 speeds. And you can do it without looking like a prick clutching yet another prick in a giftwrapped box. With their fancy handiwork, high-brow price tags and low-key marketing, the Swedish are quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to the sex toy industry. And we're happy they've filled the niche, considering the Swiss have already taken cheese, chocolate and watches.
Living up to the (mostly false) accusation that all we (OK, me) write about are curvaceous women promoting stuff, we offer you this video which promotes the book, The Muscly Jerk Guide: Workout & Nutrition Plans, that promises guys, "Now you can build a physique that drives beautiful women crazy & take control of your sex life in only 12 weeks!" Back in November a guy wrote the book and recently released the video, called Hot Girls Answer Every Guy's Question, which asks what woman want in a guy. Of course, all they want are big muscles but what else would they say in a video promoting a book that promises to build a muscular physique in 12 weeks? The video has climbed to the number nine spot on the video tracking site, VidMeter. Call it shallow but there's nothing wrong with a six pack and the adoration that six pack brings.
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