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Bold Ogilvy Needs to Get Laid OK so here's a commercial that lays on the sexual double entendre like a steady stream of verbal diarrhea spewing from the mouth of a sexually frustrated copywriter who hasn't been laid in a month. I take it slow but I like it fast. The game is hard but I take it easy. Lights are fascinating but I'm having more fun in the dark. Soft is good but rough is even better. It's like Axe for Greeks. Oh wait. That's exactly what it is! OK, well, sort of. CougarLife Ad Banned For Putting 'Immature Girls' in Their Place Oh somehow we'll get in trouble again for this one but what the hell. Young women in Australia are angered over a CougarLife ad which features porn star Julia Ann trashing "immature girls who think they're all that." In the ad, she stuffs a hamburger in one girl's face saying, "you need a sandwich." She tells another catty lady "you fold sweaters for a living" after the girl spitefully says to her date, "oh, so you're a computer geek." Finally, after a third freeloader says "buy me a drink" to her date, Ann shoves the girl out of her chair and says to the guy, "How about I buy you a drink." Really? Really? A Bra That Tweets Yup. OgilveyOne Athens, the agency behind the amazing Lacta Chocolate work, has created a bra that will send a tweet each time it is unclasped. Why? Well to encourage women to perform self-exams from breast cancer detection. Sponsored by Nestle, The Tweeting Bra uses a mechanism that is connected to a smartphone via bluetooth and automatically posts a tweet every time it is unhooked. The campaign features Greece's popular and well known television personality/celebrity Maria Mpacodimou. For 15 days, Maria will wear the bra and each time she unhooks it, it will post a tweet to her hundred of thousands of fans/followers about breast self-exams. Hmm. Seems parents of teens might want a device like this for their daughters to who may be taking their bras off for reasons other than to simply undress. Terry Richardson's UK Kardashian Kollection Campaign Dubbed 'Less Pervy Than Expected' You are likely all familiar with the Kardashian Kollection which is sold at Sears. A similar collection is being sold in the UK at British chain Lipsy. A new campiagn for that collection was shot shot Terry Richardson who loves to hang with and shoot Kate Upton and other super hot models. Writing for The Gloss, Julia Sonenshein expected the campaign to consist of the Kardashians "naked and straddling heaps of the clothing" but was pleasantly surprised to discover the campaign is "decidedly un-pervy." That didn't stop Sonenshein from dubbing the collection "something you'd wear to an 18-and-over club that takes place in an upscale funeral home." This Cosmetics Company Thinks Putting on Makeup is Like Having an Orgasm Nowhere near as funny as the original, Benefit Cosmetics is out with "Real Women Don't Fake It," a video whose subject matter is exactly what you think it is. But it doesn't come close to the hilarity of the original which actually kept you guessing a bit longer than does this sophomore effort. Kate Upton Has Sex With Hot Pocket, Dreams of Snoop Dogg In Kate Upton's latest dalliance with food -- it's like some kind of aphrodisiac for her -- arrives home with her roommate, gets hungry, seductively changes, heads to her bedroom, turns on Larry King, practically has an orgasm while consuming a meaty Pocket and slips into a psychedelic dream featuring Snoop Dogg doing a mashup of Biz Markie's 1989 hit "Just a Friend (You Got What I Need) which ends up "You Got What I Eat." Now if that isn't a dirty double entendre, we don't know what is. Yea, selling sandwiches with a fantasy in which Snoop Dogg sings to Upton about how much he'd like to eat her. Company Mails Free Vibrators to Federal Employees During Shutdown Oh the wit and whim of some marketers. Acknowledging the fact a substantial number of people may have more time on their hands having been affected by the government shutdown, online retailer Vibrators.com is mailing out 200 free vibrators each day to anyone who uses the discount code "shutdown." So, yes. this isn't exclusive to federal employees but the promotion is certainly aimed at them. The company promises to deliver 200 free dildos daily until the shutdown ends. The offer is limited to 200 per day so as not to overrun production...which, of course, you know it would if the count were higher. Miss Alabama Practically Has An Orgasm While Eating This Carl's Jr. Buffalo Blue Cheese Burger Someone over at Carl's Jr. has a real fetish for hot women wearing heels, pleated miniskirts, cami tops, bikinis and all kinds of other hottie-wear while getting messy eating a fat, juicy burger. In this case, the hot woman is Miss Alabama Katherine Webb who, like every hottie before her, can't seem to eat a burger without spilling it all over herself and sweating her ass off while doing so. Images and Ads Hook Up in Steamy gumgum Promo Video Fully leveraging the notion of the "hook up," in-image ad platform, gumgum, is out with a promotional video in which a super hot ad guy hooks up with a super hot image girl to, ya know, make sure we all understand gumgum is all about showing ads and images a really good time by allowing them to seamlessly hookup in orgasmic bliss. The video's tagline? You guessed it. "Enhance your brand's performance." The brand's tagline? You guessed it. "Where images and ads hook up." Bouncing Boobs Burn Fewer Calories Than Sports Bra-Encased Boobs It's funny the things you learn when watching ads. Who knew bouncing boobs, while a whole lot more fun to watch in action, cause a woman to burn fewer calories when working out than if she were to wear a bounce-inhibiting sports bra? That's really the only conclusion we can come to after viewing this Tony Petrossian-directed spot for Sportsmaster, a top european sports retailer. Perhaps Hitomi Tanaka (semi-NSFW) should shop at Sportsmaster. 
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