Live in New York City? You're an asshole according to Windows Casino which has created an game called Torch Runner. In the game, an Olympic torch carrier must navigate his way past squirt guns and fire hydrants which threaten to extinguish the flame and avoid cars which threaten to, well, kill the torch bearer. Is this any way to treat a global sporting event which brings the people of the world together? Say what you will about Chinese politics but the Olympics aren't (or shouldn't be) about politics.
Rather than play this lame ass game, everyone should go watch Matt Harding dance his way around the world. Now that's much more akin to the spirit (at least in intent) of the Olympics.
It's Dork Dodge! In this RPG game by JC Penney, you're a college girl trying to leave the dorm, where a hot but insecure love interest is waiting. Your job: to emotionally castrate the losers in your way. (Attacking them with items from Penney's Dorm Life line is usually a safe bet.) "Losers" labeled by Penney's include -- but are not limited to -- an incest-friendly hick, a Swedish exchange student, a bodybuilder and a goth.
Don't be too gentle or they'll follow you (dork cling!), thereby destroying your chances of a tasty hook-up forever. In that case, your best option is to ask a friend for help. (Oddly, the friends are as douchey as the men.) And don't dally too long or Mister Bouquet-of-Flowers out there will ditch yo' ass. (He's on a very tight schedule.)
But aww, it's the tech era, and some of these squares are cute. My favourite pick-up line: "Did you know 'NERD' stands for Never-Ending Rendezvous ... with Destiny? Look it up."
Put together by EVB San Francisco. If for some odd reason you're now into the Penney's Dorm Life line, see Facebook page. I just love me a furry pink picture frame.
Test Your Instincts is a free (brought to you by Samsung Instinct!) quiz that gauges a person's wildlife savvy: what do you do when a jellyfish stings, when a shark comes angling for your surfboard, or when you're stuck in quicksand (which happens to me all the time)?
The scenarios are wordy, but you'll at least learn something* and there's no registration process. I fared pretty terribly. Oddly, the answers I did know were mostly culled from Captain Planet.
What, do genital jokes just make better advergames?
The above inanity is a promotion for Pineapple Express, a movie by the same winners that brought you Superbad. Put together by agency Soap Creative.
I'm kinda digging Viking Smackdown, a game Hello Viking put out to celebrate its one year anniversary.
I'd probably like it more if I could play it though. (You can only play from an iPhone or iPod touch with sassy tilting capabilities. And as the "sorry, fuck off!" message states, "Shaking your laptop just won't cut it.")
Here's the next-best thing (not really): a video about the game! (Scroll down.) I'm digging the awkward vibe and bare feet.
Seeking distraction? Practice your competitive discus-throwing skills on Discus Champion, a game Tamba made for King Solomon's Casino, which is kinda funny because until I realized the discus was actually a head-sized poker chip, I thought this was a really lame promotion for Ultimate Frisbee.
To promote its Star Trek-caliber bubble-killing beer cans, Foster's gives us Ride the Scuba, where you can leap into a virtual SCUBA tank and pop bloated bubbles.
Enter this email/password to beer SCUBA from your desk: email@example.com/thankyou. Our connection's pretty slow, so we spent most of our SCUBA time hovering near a Foster's billboard, sort of like dead fish.
The game was put together by the UK's Play. Props to MTLB, who was all, "C'mon, play beer scuba with me, c'monc'monc'mooooon" until we finally said "Fine, but only if we get a peanut tube."
"Honey, what are you doing in there? You've been on the computer all afternoon."
".......What was that?"
"Mo-om, I'm saving Cookie Puss from getting a faceful of cone!"
If that's not sufficiently crash-worthy, "CookiePussTeroids" is also spelled wrong.
Despite this week's drama over the Saatchi & Saatchi - "created" faux commercial for JCPenney, Grow Interactive, working with Saatchi & Saatchi double assures this new work for the retailer is, yes, APPROVED BY THE CLIENT! Now that that's out of the way, take a look at Rock Your Look, a new website developed as a sort of karaoke contest which awards the winner a trip to the stage at this year's Teen Choice Awards.
Here's a fun little webisode thingy. It's for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and it features brand mascot Spraychel who has now thrown her hat into the ring and is running for President. Oh sure, it's all to sell a few more tubs of fake butter but, wait, you can win money! You can play games! You can take polls! You can get coupons! And, best of all, you can witness her crush her opponent, Maxwell Butterman.
Oh but wait, what would a campiagn be without a Facebook page? Oh but wait again. Where's her Second Life persona? Oops. Sorry. Forgot SL is so 2005.
Story Worldwide are the gurus behind this one.