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Auto Ad Banned For Dubbing Big Breasts 'Nice Headlamps' Oh how boobs can get advertisers in trouble. Especially really big ones with lots of cleavage spilling out of a bra. That seems to be what's at issue with an UlsterTrader billboard campaign carrying the headline "Nice Headlamps" and copy that reads, "What do you look for in a car?" Levi's Helium Jeans Viral Hacked For Self Promo Hello? Hello? The helium-fueled floating viral thing has already been done people! Don't you pay attention to YouTube everyday? Apparently you don't because now you're blowing bubbles with helium and floating into the air like those idiots in the Levi's video. Oops. Wait. This is different. For Blue Film Production, Rapp France created the video and is pimping to any brand that would like to slap its logo on it with the apparent intention of getting some viral goodness. Trouble is if everyone's already seen the unbranded version, why would anyone want to see a branded version? As Loren Feldman loves to say, "It doesn't matter." It's all a ruse to get people to check out a case study covering the steps it takes to create a successful viral campaign. Starbucks Trashes Brand With VIA We're already over a week late on this but...Starbucks recently launched its new VIA product yesterday. For those of you living in a coffee vacuum VIA is Starbucks' answer to the one shot coffee pod trend in home brewing. The brand is touting the offering as being so good "you won't be able to tell the difference between Starbucks VIA and our brewed coffee." Um what? Isn't this completely counter to the brand Starbucks? Hello? Starbucks? We visit your stores for the highest quality brewed coffee. We happily pay a little extra for your unique ability to make that great cup of coffee a cup we CAN'T get elsewhere. Your outstanding personal service (most of the time). And sometimes the ambiance. We WANT to taste the difference. UPS Meets Its Deadline, Falls Short Elsewhere For client UPS, agency Doner and production firm Psyop imagine a helpless protagonist braving the challenges of a cardboard world to meet a deadline. The ability to print remotely liberates him in the end. The imagery is inspired but the ad suffers from mediocrity of narrative and a weak message. Next! Hotness Always Wins in Beer Commercials OK, so you can see this one coming from the first frame. It's a beer ad, after all, and one of two things happen in a beer commercial. Guys act stupid and hot women always make an appearance. This one from Tiger Beer has both. It's no wonder drinking beer is all too often an indicator of idiocy. Fake Video Stunt Still Alive And Well Seriously? Seriously? Didn't we leave the obviously fake video thing behind years ago? Apparently, Gillette didn't get the memo and, sadly, is out with a stupid video in which three "NASCAR drivers" play chicken on the race course resulting in a large G on the raceway made out of meticulously placed skid marks. Yawn. Show us the actual, un-edited video and we might consider showing even the slightest bit of interest in this tired, lame, ridiculous tactic. Kleenex Lectures Us on Brand Identity With Grammar Fail Love the comments we get from readers. Somebody claiming to be Kevin wrote: Did you see the banner/display ad on the AdAge newsletter this AM? from Kleenex, "Help us keep our brand identity COMMA ours." And a click-thru to some dopey microsite. misplaced comma Are they friggin kidding? Oops. Attention All Cereal Eaters! Wheaties is for Hard-Asses. So Wheaties, the wholesome man's man cereal that once sported Michael Jordan on the box, has rebranded to reflect our taurine-powered, chrome-enhanced times. Powering down on all that orange, the new Wheaties box is Basic Black with a metallic new brand name: FUEL. Just above is a casual (and yet not) assembly of sporty dudes with features that bring both Star Trek and Axe to mind. Yes, simultaneously. No word on whether the Bom Chika Wah-Wah will be penetrating TV ads; we just hope all that FUEL doesn't manifest itself on unwitting tastebuds. Make the Logo Bigger has a good assessment of why this approach sucks for cereal. In contrast, Plaid's Brand Flakes for Breakfast admits the box'll stand out -- that is, until all the other breakfasts of champions start following suit. Anticipation Leads to.....Large Yawn This is one of those commercials which shows such promise. The way the music begins. The way the first scene sets itself. The feeling it creates as you first experience it. All things seem to point toward a thing of beauty. And then...all we see is a bunch of letters floating up into the sky, the music repeat itself over and over and over again. And the camera hand on the same scene for an excruciatingly long time. Until the scene fades to black with no closing information. And the whole thing's a promo for a "viral" company anyway so we really needn't work ourselves up over it like it's some sort of Super Bowl wannabe. O, Hell No; Three Olives Brings O-Face to TV Three Olives Vodka, the folk that pimped the nation for its best O-face, is back with a triage of TV spots. Each scenario is the same: a bespectacled male is subjected to pain. He doesn't react. Then he downs a shooter of the vodka, squeezes his little shoes together and O's his little heart out. 
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