Staples is running a campaign called Gift it for Free, where 10,000 people could "win" any purchase they make at the store between November 16 and December 24.
To promote an already-feeble promotional effort, the marketing team invented a fictional character called Coach Tom, who from what I can tell just wanders around dispensing advice on winning to people that aren't interested, like Tai Chi practitioners and the Kings. At some point in his didactic prattling, he'll toss in a ramble about Gift it for Free, which doesn't visibly spark any interest in his existence.
Feels forced and campy. Also, the videos are too long. But whatev, see requisite YouTube, Facebook and Twitter pages. (Remember how everyone used to build a MySpace page too, and now nobody bothers? Sign of the changing times.)
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Yup. Winter is on the way and it's time for the yellow snow joke. It's not like there's anything groundbreaking about this commercial or even remotely original. But, like a fart joke that's been told millions of times, it's still funny. Or at least to a small segment, stereotypically portrayed by marketers who think beer drinkers are idiots and will do anything to drink shitty beer.
Maybe because using plastic bottles to promote tap water ain't workin' all that great, Tappening decided to accomplish what many have before it: self-promotion by way of Obama. Check out the triage of ads it produced to "congratulate" Obama on his "decision" to stop drinking bottled water.
Hoping to seem witty, the Tappening also attributed Obama's success in winning Democrats' favor to his anti-bottled-water stance.
That's the first I've heard of it. If Obama actually did declare war against bottled water, it hasn't stopped him from offering some to his fainting fans (scroll to 1:56).
Mexico invades Chicago O'Hare in a zealous attempt to show middle Americans it's "Beyond Your Expectations." Curious? Wander through Terminal 3 -- which serves 38 percent of O'Hare's traffic -- for a taste of this technicolor fiasco.
Through October, a Colonial-style kiosk will serve as soapbox for the Mexican Tourism Board. Pretty girls in Nano-chromatic sheaths will pass out flyers and obscure your line of sight with videos of, I don't know, tourists getting drinks made in their mouths. Or possibly pyramids.
Oh wait, this is all supposed to be beyond expectation. God, what a poverty-ridden tagline.
In what appears to be nothing more than slapping the Green label on Bank of America's Keep the Change program, Citizens Bank has launched the Green$ense Campaign which pays customers ten cents for every electronic transaction they make but only up to $10 per month and $120 per year. Even without the facade of "greenery, Bank of America gives up to $250 per year with its program. And people don't even have to be green to get the $250.
Of course it's all to motivate people to bank electronically which uses less paper which, yes, is an admirable "green" effort. But, seriously, the real reason any bank would motivate its customers to bank electronically is to cut overhead (by hiring fewer tellers) and increase profit.
With cutesy headlines like "Being eco-friendly just got eco-nomical" and "The environment is like a bank account. Every little bit helps," the campaign rolls out in print, radio, outdoor and television.
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Nobody ever tires of a transparent double entendre, right?
Bearing that wisdom in mind, Nando's released an ad where a blonde ditz flags down a waitress because her burger didn't come with chips. (That's British talk for "fries.")
"They're on your plate," the waitress points out.
"No they're not," the hungry hippo blasts back.
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The Swift Kids for Truth, a group of weebies that can't form complete sentences without lisping adorably, take the piss out of Sarah Palin in a video called "Maverick." The description's about as infantile as the content: "The kids are in awe of that lady who looks like their Mommy when she's mad."
Palin's status as "maverick," the munchkins argue with subtle irony, doesn't go much deeper than the frameless glasses on her nose.
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So...does strapping a midget...oh, damn, that's not the right word...a little person to the front of a man who then, with the help of the little person, hurls a shot which beats a 1973 record make the man one and and a half times the man he already is? According to Solo Strong beer, the answer is yes.
All of this raises a very important question; Does Solo Strong beer thing midgets, sorry, little people are half as good as "regular" people? Apparently so since advertising is, as we all know, the bastion of truth and enlightened thought, right?
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- Last week Washington Mutual ran this colorful little ad on its homepage. It reads, "Most banks are grey. That's not our style." Its fortunes have changed since then. See what ad they're running now. (Thanks to Adrants reader Martha for the link.)
- Who's the dick writing comments on your blog? Via David Griner at Adfreak.
- Over the bar-and-bowling scene? Hit up a hamster race near you. (Come prepared. See track specs.)
- Branding with LaserGames. Watch out for epilepsy.
- Alphas eat beef jerky.
- Bored or pissed off at Cubicle Cog #4? Play the Super Fantastic Corporate Confusion game. Unlike life, it will not let you down.
JC Penney's Crue Boarding is giving away rebates for the full purchasing price when you send them an e-receipt and a shot of you wearing their gear.
To infiltrate its target market -- "full time slackers" into "surfing beer music classy girls" -- Penney's invented Samthebrodude, a fake video blogger who does jack besides post vlogs about this promotion.
Sam's videos are short and the lighting terrible, harking back to a time (pre-dating Lonelygirl15) when those characteristics might have suggested authenticity. Beyond that, he's too much like a character invented out of intensive MySpace research.
Plus, he joined YouTube three weeks ago and has uploaded seven videos -- five of which are all about Crue Boarding's promotion.
See him clutch a guitar, just for show, and flash his rebate check. As if you care.
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