"Honey, what are you doing in there? You've been on the computer all afternoon."
".......What was that?"
"Mo-om, I'm saving Cookie Puss from getting a faceful of cone!"
If that's not sufficiently crash-worthy, "CookiePussTeroids" is also spelled wrong.
Oh for fuck's sake! Are you kidding me? "That's why we do more than just connect calls. We believe in connecting people." Seriously? Well, U.S. Cellular, if you are so great at connecting people and making the world a perfectly happy, feel-good place, why don't you dial up Osama Bin Laden, Kim Jong-il, Omar Al-Bashir, Pervez Musharraf, Than Shwe and the rest of the world's dictatorial idiots, feed them some of your feel-good crap and see if you can, in fact, help the world become a better place. That, at least, would be worthy of producing these sixty seconds of sugar-coated puffery.
Following the questionably-real video of a guy back flipping into a pair of Levi's, a new, definitely not real video has a guy with his pants filled with helium float off into the air. OK. A.) Ever try to see how many helium-filled balloons you'd need to get yoursself off the ground? Exactly, you gave up after 100 which wouldn't even launch your dog. B.) Curiously, the guys is always floating in the same position...as if hung buy a wire that was later digitally removed. Not at all like the people you see floating around in space or on dive planes.
OK, it's fun but this is just dumb. Some poor low IQ idiot is going to try this at home and kill themselves thinking they can jump off their roof with a bit of helium in their pants. Law suits will ensue. Levi's will apologize. And American stupidity will continue to reign supreme.
When it comes to moving and moving companies, big trucks and cardboard boxes are the sort of imagery that usually come to mind. Severed feet washed ashore on a Canadian island is probably the last bit of imagery to cross one's mind when cogitating that topic. That is, unless you're a moving company called PutYourFeetUp and your ad banner happens, courtesy of oh-so-smart contextual advertising, to appear above a news story about...severed feet washing ashore on a Canadian island.
Thanks to Tom Hespos, who found it on Fark, for sending it in.
As only Copyranter can, a new SmartWater billboard featuring Jennifer Aniston gets a well-deserved lashing from Jennifer herself -- as written by Copyranter, of course.
A taste of the venom: "Wait, where did this fucking lame-ass headline come from? Jesus, sounds like an entry from my sixth-grade diary."
- matrixx pulls a fast one: to score coverage for a cross-promotion between Vespa, Subway and Get Smart, it produced a write-up for us. "Please do feel free to use or rewrite the whole thing," the matrixx rep said generously. What a nifty guy. And here we were thinking we had jobs to do.
- David and Goliath put together Jack's Track, a racing game that makes the most of Jack Daniel's NASCAR sponsorship.
- MoveOn says this anti-McCain ad is its most effective ad EVAR. It involves a baby. Meh.
- Bun in the oven? Learn how to troubleshoot.
- What a strange way to market a cola. I'm disgusted. But also sold.
Dashboard Rock, which represents Mazda's attempt to cash in on the popularity of games like Rock Band and Guitar Hero, vibes like Dance, Dance Revolution for your fingers. You can also download 15 songs as you move through the game.
Now here are all the setbacks.
OK, what? Does Deutsch really not know the difference between a Pontiac Solstice and a Corvette? Even worse, the difference between a Chevy HHR and a Chrysler PT Cruiser? Seemingly not according to these screenshots (1, 2) of the agency's site on which they label the Soltice a Corvette and an HHR a T Cruiser.
Guys, guys, guys! Do we have to bring out that shot of Donny in a Speedo again and slap you upside the head with his junk to wake you up?
Well if you ever want to watch the world's longest, most boring dissertation (um, blatherific business babble) on in-text advertising, give this Cannes Fringe video a watch in which Asa Bailey interviews Vibrant Media CMO Sean Finnegan who goes on and on and on and fucking on about the insanity that is in-text advertising.
Yup, it seems the Verizon Dumb Dad is still alive and well. In this commercial for the Motorola Q9, a doofus idiot who's texting while walking down his neighborhood sidewalk, bumps into some pipes and forgets who he is. Well, thanks to the Moto Q 9c, he can look himself up and search for directions to his house where, upon arrival, his wife (one assumes), screams, "get out!", to which loser Verizon Dumb Dad responds, "That voice. Now I remember."
The only reason Verizon gets away with this shit is a.) they are the best network and can do whatever the hell they want and b.) the pendulum hasn't yet swung back to where it's cool to make women look like the air headed refrigerator models they once were.