Flirt Vodka Offers Ladies Free Knee Condoms

Ladies? Your man got you down? Then Flirt vodka has the solution. Return a case of empty Flirt vodka bottles to a liquor store and receive a free pair of knee pads. So the next time you man's got you done, your knees won't end up looking like the ladies knees in this ad.

And if it weren't already clear, this ad was dubbed one of the 100 Sexist Advertisements on Adme.ru, many of which we've happily covered here on Adrants over the years.

If You Want to Live in Alabama, You Had Better Learn English

Well here's a political commercial the politically correct won't like. Of course, since we're not at all politically correct around here, we love this new ad for Tim James who's running for Governor in Alabama...where, as James makes very clear, English is the spoken language.

James wants the state's driver's license exams to be administered only in English. Currently, the test is given in 12 languages and James claims that's just too costly. If elected, he'd give the test only in English.

The best (most contentious to some) line in the ad? "This is Alabama. We speak English. If you want to live here, learn it."

This is not going to get this man elected. Oh wait. Yes it will. This is Alabama. We're rednecks. If you want to live here, ditch your ethnic ways and become an American like the rest of us.

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Yawn. Speed Stick Steals the Fake 'Viral' From Levi's, Nike

Remember those fake virals from Nike in which Kobe Bryant jumped over a car and took a jump shot over a pool of snakes? Or all those fake Levi's videos?

This new work from Young & Rubicam France for Speed Stick Waterproof is just the same. Except more lame.

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Effen is F'ing With Us

Oh lets just come right out and say it, Effen. There's nothing more satisfying than fucking on a plane. Nothing warms me up like fucking by the fire. Everyone enjoys fucking in the penthouse.

But, hmm. The literal approach kinda ruins your attempt at witticism, right?

It would make your new Euro RSCG Chicago-created "Provocatively Premium" campaign "Perfunctorily Prosaic," right?

So go with the wit. Have fun with your wordplay. We'll pretend to enjoy the wink and the nod. And then we'll go hang with the fembots and drink Svedka.

Radio Spot Dials Hotel Phone Number For Your Lazy Ass

As if we weren't already lazy enough what with voice activated menus and all manner of click and swipe, we can now sit on our ass even longer and have a radio ad dial our phone for us.

And come on! It takes more energy to get the phone than it does to dial it. This seems like a lot of work: Getting off your ass to get the phone. Pushing the button for a dial tone. Holding the phone up to the radio's speaker. And actually being able to make the decision you want to dial the phone with just thirty to sixty seconds of advance warning.

Oh right. We don't have to write the number down and we don't have to waste any valuable brain power to remember the number so we can then dial it if the radio spot didn't do it for us.

And the march towards Idiocracy continues.

And what's with the strange Barry White-ish voice over on the demo video?

And...just becasue technology makes it possible doesn't mean we should do it.

Canada Wants to See Your Butt

Hey, the colon is located in the ass region so why not promote the cause by calling attention to the area? Which is exactly what the Canadian Colorectal Cancer Association hopes to do with Get Your Butt Seen, a flashmob-style promotion on March 31 involving, well, a lot of butts.

The promotional sites says, "Users can upload images of different bottoms that appear to have been taken by a photocopier or upload an image of their own backside and then send it to their friends via e-mail or for posting on Facebook."

Um. Seriously? That's just gross. Who really wants to see a picture of a stranger's hairy ass? And you know they're all going to be hairy and ugly. No self-respecting, bootylicios hottie is going to hop on a copy machine for this idiocy.

Ogilvy in Montreal is to blame for the oncoming hairy ass fest.

Activia Tries Really, Really, REALLY Hard to Make Yogurt Sexy

In a new :30 from RKCR/Y&R for Activia featuring English actress Martine McCutcheon, the agency goes all out trying to add some sort of sex appeal to "intensely creamy" Activia. It's a barf-tastic attempt to infuse the most mundane food with provocative seductiveness. And it's just icky.

Google Isn't As Stupid As Bing Wants It to Be

This new UK-based Bing campaign is ridiculous. It tries to paint the rest of the search portals (ahem, Google) as idiotic dunderheads that can't understand what your searching for. In one commercial, a woman is looking for the Euston tube station in London. A dunderhead answers her by prattling on about the eustation tube connects which connects the ears to the back of the throat as if no other search engine could possibly offer the right result.

But the most ridiculous thing about this campaign is the real world version of the scenario painted in the commercial. Do a search for Euston tube station on Google and it's the first result. Do the same search on Bing and its also the first result. Not exactly a product differentiation there.

Dentyne's Pocket Ammo Butt Stuck in Limbo

On the internet shit happens. People get stalked. Racy photos of underage celebrities appear. Viruses wreak havoc. And sites go down...but not usually for an entire week as is the case with Dentyne's Pocket Ammo promotional site which has been down since Monday, March 1.

Oops. The Realtime Media Blog has the story.

Foursquare Has Swagger Like Us

PleaseRobMe aside, we all love Foursquare, right? Come on admit it. You know you do. You obsess over telling everyone where you are. You invent places just to get points. You covet badges. Admit it. It's a disease. But it's nothing new. It's just an extension of the Twitter disease which made us all think people actually give a shit what we're doing every single second of the day.

Enter Badges Like Us, a fairly lame rap rendition of the location-based game. Check it. Catch the lyrics on the video's YouTube page.