Vista So Distasteful, Even Pirates Won't Steal It

Despite Microsoft's charmingest attempts to promote Vista (witty subsites, banner gymnastics), the evidence betrays a sad truth: nobody wants it.

Not even pirates.

But facing news that Vista counterfeit rates are estimated at half those of Windows XP's, Microsoft plays the ignorant housewife: Pirates' refusal to touch the goods is due to Vista's "proven and effective" authentication system!

Oh, of course.

You Mean Fermin's Just an Ass in Need of Some Spritz?

Check out this subsite, "Who is Fermin?" It reminds us a lot of that Don Fielding thing we loathed so much.

Put together by GrupoW, the subsite is the continuation of a "Let's Save Fermin!" campaign released in August, which Adverblog covered.

The site brings us to the dusty streets of Pamplona. There's a man running for his life (Fermin!). The object is to drag a rope backward with your cursor to find out what's chasing him (which includes a bear, a pack of wolves, a psychotic butcher, a rhino, etc).

Confusingly, once you get to the very end of the rope, the scene changes to an ad for Rexona for Men, which supposedly has a million molecules of antiperspirant protection.

We don't get it. So would Rexona's millions of protective molecules put off Fermin's pursuers, or just ensure him amazingly dry 'pits while he runs for his fucking life?

Sobara Fur Ad Crucified by Jezebel

While Jerry Sobara Furs, according to some quick research, certainly seems to be a real company, celebu-blog Jezebel took a look at the company's latest ad in the December issue of Vogue and wonders if PETA was involved. Positing the ad could not possibly be real, Jezebel writer, Moe, says "I mean, I know fuck-all about fashion, and I know you don't make gold-colored fur jacket with gold buttons and gold bric-a-brac trim. And if you do that, you definitely don't force the model to stand against a bronzy-gold wall and leaning on a gold paisley chair with a mustard-gold gloved hand.

Humorously, the writer also wonders what the motive was behind the casting of the...um...not so beautiful model in the ad asking if Sobara "put out a call for 'pre-op Celine Dion, only 50-75 percent uglier?'" It goes on from there. And we thought we were harsh.

Media Kills. So Why Not Light Up Instead?

Tell Reynolds they don't need to pull their print ads after all. A team at the University of Michigan waded through 50 years of research and concluded media violence is as hazardous as smoking.

Violent video games and television shows were targeted, with children more heavily influenced by what they see than adults, although women and men are equally likely to engage in violence they've seen in the media.

Well, hey. After our WoW sessions we've just got to grab a scimitar and kick some burly guy's ass. And don't even get us started on Heroes.

Visa Regurgitates Electronica; Lacks Rhythm, Leaves Blues

This new Visa spot by TBWA\Chiat\Day is called Rock It. The slogan: "Life takes rhythm. Life takes Visa."

Like Visa's last attempt at holiday cheer, it's horrible and depressing.

Infiniti M Ad Lacks Flair of Latin Counterparts

Here is an ad for the Infiniti M that is not very interesting (courtesy of TBWA\Chiat\Day).

Where's the fire?

Huffington Misses Point, Not for the First Time

Sigh. According to a Huffington Post rep, Madame Arianna met co-chairman Rich Silverstein of Goodby, Silverstein and Partners -- allegedly single-handedly responsible for "Got Milk?", and asked him how the Democrats could get people to respond to their finger-pointing and whining -- er, issue framing.

Silverstein suggested a "visual blog" that metaphorically TiVos the last six years and plays them back "without comment" so the American people can connect the devastating dots.

With Silverstein's help, Huffington gives us three posters that consist of, well, finger-pointing and whining. Granted, in a very sassy typeface. See creative: Names, Slogans and Events. The tagline is, "Haven't we had enough?"

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Sumo Wrestlers Invite MySpacers to Check Credit Scores

Hey look, another ad whose imagery has nothing at all to do with what it's promoting. No wonder people hate us.

Credit scores, degrees, mortgages... it's like, "Let's take some really important stuff and try to promote it as inanely as possible!"

This cheap tomfoolery fills us with venom. The unfortunate paradox is, the ads do jump out. So we guess it's all in keeping with whether or not you believe all advertising is good advertising if it resonates -- however badly.

Loose Identities on MySpace Compared to Handing Predators 'Loaded Guns'

Here's another cautionary tale for the MySpace scandal scrapbook. Last year, a girl named Megan Meier met a boy on the social network, fell in love, then killed herself after he told her the world would be better without her.

A year later, Megan's parents have come forward to say a couple months after their daughter's death they discovered the boy was the invention of some neighbors they know -- not other kids, mind you, but other adults, trying to find out whether Megan herself spreads rumors about their own spawn.

The incident naturally sparked talk about whether MySpace and the 'net in general should endure more regulation.

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classesUSA Uses Bawd, Bullshit to Hype Higher Ed

Perhaps inspired by the tacky and totally arbitrary banners that once characterized the ads for Lower My Bills, classesUSA is circulating a series of ads to drive high school grads to get vocational degrees online.

And what better way to do it than with tattoos and a line of dancing girls in catsuits?

Granted, the spots -- which make exactly zero sense -- caught our attention. But would you trust your higher education with these people? It all reeks of the plaid suits and seedy tipped hats of the prototypical car salesman.