Cuervo Can't Be Taken Seriously, Even When It's Trying Really Hard Not to Be

This intentionally campy Cuervo season campaign takes jabs at Sportscenter but fails to be funny on its own. Plus, the Game Game sucks and everything takes too long to load. The tickers suck too.

Well, the idea was funny in theory.

Cuervo Season = Fail.

New iPhone Ads OMG!!!

If there's one thing we can say about Apple, we'll say it knows how to set the stage. iPod ads feel completely different from Mac ones without deviating too far from the ruling Apple geek-meets-hipster-osity.

With that in mind, the prospect of seeing the new iPhone ads was really exciting, especially since the debut draws near and the bar was set so high with the nostalgic Oscars piece.

Check them out here: Never Been an iPod, How To, Calamari.

Though the style was a little too minimal (did some kid bang out that tune?), by the third ad the whole concept had grown on us. Like, really. Like, check out the functionality on that sexy beast.

We only wish they'd shown off that spinning-straw-into-gold component we keep hearing about from friends who jizz all over our shoes before they're even done saying the word "iPhone."

Between Films, Scorsese Works for AmEx

Voila: an American Express ad for The Members Project, resulting from a collabo between Lost Planet and Martin Scorsese, via Ogilvy. It is surprisingly likable.

Poking fun at self-satisfied cause-whoring like Gap (red) and Kenneth Cole's Are You Putting Us On?, the spot includes Ellen, Andre Agassi and Sheryl Crow, sitting against a generic backdrop and admonishing the sympathetic to go forth and make a difference.

For those whose ears automatically perked up at Scorsese's name, there's no gunning-down for the cause. But amid the usual vagaries about doing your part, a casually-dressed guy (Tim from the office next door!) suddenly walks across the shot and points out the importance of keeping Lake Winnipesakee clean.

This sparks confusion between the stars and a general, if hesitant, admission that Lake Winnipesakee is probably worth keeping clean.

The spot ends with an empty stool and the usual closing jibjab about submitting your idea to website X. The winning entry gets not $10,000 (the going idea rate) but a whopping $5 million, which may mean this contest is actually worth someone's while.

Cows Picket for Udder Relief, Bovine Rights

Apparently having "unalienable rights" can mean more for the common cow than just avoiding aliens. The fine folk at Sustainable Table have launched a campaign called Cows Unite, in which our bovine buddies battle it out for organic sustainability.

Check out the Bovine Bill of Rights, which states, among other things, that cows have the right to dignity and joy. Well, hey. Unlike the citizens of most countries, they clearly know what to ask for. No wonder the aliens are always abducting them.

We wonder what cows themselves would actually have to say about how much personality we project onto them. Would they laugh? Would they demand royalties in grassy knolls? Would they become self-conscious about their spots?

For Bigger Balls, Get the Corvette of Golf Equipment

Bored with being the khaki-shorts man's sport of choice, golf gets ballsy in a campaign called The Balls to Go for It. This is for Callaway's Top Flite D2, the must have for ball-chuckers who "never lay up - never wuss out."

Site features include Smack Talk 101, E-Insults and the Wussipedia, a user-compiled list of on-course faux pas.

Hrm. We never thought a sport could suffer from a midlife crisis. Then again...

Dank!: 'Wait - that Coveted Couch, Like Larry Fortensky, Will Find You'

DDB&Co, Istanbul hit us with this campaign for Dank!, a used furniture store that admonishes, "If you really want it, it's worth waiting for." To make the point, print ads outline a series of events that have brought actors or famous people all over the map.

A list of Elizabeth Taylor's husbands, for example, is at left. You can also see Sharon Stone's film career (up to the point where she hits Turk TV) and Gabe Batistuta's clubs.

We're not quite sure we'd want these peoples' hand-me-down divans, but hey, if Russell and Kimora clamored for the late Versace's bed and dining table we suppose there's a market.