Marketing Knee Jerk Gives Us Fingernail Advertising

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While some marketers would certainly explode with glee if every human being on the planet wore the brand's logo somewhere on their body but we just can't understand why any sane human would affix logoed fingernails to their fingers. Of course, we can't understand headvertising, assvertsing, babyvertising, voicevertising, cleavagevertising, bellyvertising or boobvertising either.

OK, wait a minute. Of course we can understand it all. Sorry. It must be this slower than death holiday news week rotting our brain. There's always plenty of money-hungry fools around to add to this list of marketing stunts. That and the fact the entire ad industry is in the middle of some sort of knee jerk reaction to all the "death of the :30/traditional advertising" woe that's been spinning around since marketers woke up and realized, oops, there's these ad skipping things called DVRs, iPods, pop up blockers, bit torrent TV, pirate radio and file sharing which they wish had never existed. Now advertising is...um...hard work when it was just supposed to be all about the parties and the three martini lunches.

How we got from someone's logoed fingernails to martinis we do not know but it passed some time on a slow Friday at the end of a slow holiday week. See you next year.

by Steve Hall    Dec-30-05    
Topic: Human, Opinion, Trends and Culture



My Space Begins Downward Spiral

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Nothing cool lasts for very long in this world. Now that millions have made MySpace their home for just about everything, many worried the acquisition by News Corp would changed things. Not so promised MySpace founders but alas they have. Many MySpace members link to videos on YouTube and, apparently, News Corp-owned MySpace doesn't like the practice. According to the Blog Herald, MySpace has been deleting any and all reference to YouTube from profiles. There's even a MySpace group fighting the censorship.

MySpace came out of nowhere as the single most popular place to go for...well...anything. It can disappear just as quickly and be replaced by another.

by Steve Hall    Dec-23-05    
Topic: Trends and Culture



Celebrate Ad Oddities With Adrants 2005 Top Ten Strangest Stories

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Once again, we've gather together a top ten list, this time for the oddest, weirdest, strangest and stupidest things to occur in the world of advertising. From hard ons to 70's short shorts to pornographic orthodontist billboards, here's a final laugh just prior to the Holidays. By the way, Adrants will publish only sporadically next week and the newsletter won't publish at all. After all, we need a break as much as you do.

School Ad Project Causes Columbine-Like Lock Down
Kids Orthodontist Billboard Links to Porn
Clueless Coke Marketer Says Don't Link to Coke Site
Restaurant Chain Marketed With Chili Freaks
Blue Man Pulls Stunt Marketing On Chicago Train
Bank Targets Friends of the Dead
Dad Gets Over Excited About Child's Christmas Gift
Sony Promotes PS2 Game With Worldwide Archaeological Find
Emarketing Company Brings Back Short Shorts
Condom Maker Says 'Let The Beast Go'

by Steve Hall    Dec-21-05    
Topic: Trends and Culture



Top Ten Thirty Adrants 2005 Sex-In-Advertising Stories

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As we endeavored to compile our list of the top ten sex-related advertising stories of 2005, we realized very quickly it would be impossible to limit the list to ten. After all, advertising and sex are so deeply intertwined it would be like coitus interruptus to place any limitations on such a project. So here, in no particular order, are the top sex-related advertising stories of 2005 for your multiple pleasures. We're sure we've missed some as there's only so many times a chap can go 'round.

British Hottie Says Hand in Pants Not Hard
Freakish Appendage Horrifies, Sells Shoes
Sex Sells...Until the Doors Close
GE Wins And Loses With 'Ecomagination' Campaign
Big Breasts And Suckling Babies Promote Food Bank


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Ass Pixel Advertising Hits Million Dollar Homepages
Condo Complex Encourages Loud Sex in Ad
Outdoor Campaign Teases
Nestle Drumstick Ad Over Sexed
Hot Models De-Cry Turtle Egg Aphrodisiac Consumption
Monitors Orgasm to Promote TVGuide Online
Shocker: Boobs Promote Advertising Week
American Apparel Hires Porn Star to Sell Tube Socks
Girl Grabs Crotch, Ad Gets Banned


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Paris Hilton Has Sex With Bentley For Carl's Jr.
BMW Launches Racy Motorcycle Mini-Movie Ad
American Apparel Ad Campaigns Dance With Porn
Very Pink Hotties Provide Football Fantasy
Alan Cumming Cums For Cumming
Book Promoted With 'TwattyGirl' Apparel
Jenna Jameson Launches Wireless 'Moantones'<
PR Firm Lures Survey Respondents with Striptease
Elevator Used to Recruit Pole Dancers
Wife Strips, Man Watches, Product Benefit Fulfilled
Manisms and Hot Women Sell Milwaukee's Best


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Provocative Imagery Promotes Holland Festival
Beer.com Launches Virtual Bartender II
McDonald's Wants People to Fornicate With Burgers
Big Boobs Sell Low Air Fares
Big Boobs Keep Foster's Beer Cold

And for one last go 'round, here's a few stories that sum up our industry's fixation with sex.

Advertisers: Wake Up And Smell The Sex
Marketers Push Sex Appeal
Group Says Too Much Sex on MTV

by Steve Hall    Dec-20-05    
Topic: Commercials, Trends and Culture



Paris, Butts, Masturbation Make Up Adrants 2005 Most Viewed Stories

Everyone's doing their top ten lists this time of year so we thought we'd jump right on that train too with our Ten Most Viewed Stories on Adrants in 2005.

10. Dead Guy In Trunk of Cab Promotes 'Sopranos'
9. Mountain Dew Launches MDX Energy Drink
8. Unicef Anti-War Commercial Blows Up Smurfs
7. Female Masturbation Ad Gets Banned
6. Lego Gets Pissy About Brand Name
5. McDonald's Japan Dumps Ronald For McHotties
4. Virgin Music Launches Musical Artist Identification game on Heavy
3. Paris Hilton Has Sex With Bentley For Carl's Junior
2. 'Rockstar' Contestant Slips Expletive Past CBS Censors
1. Nike likes Big Butts...And Thighs...And Knees

by Steve Hall    Dec-19-05    
Topic: Trends and Culture



Popular Ad Campaigns Get Snarked

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Illustrating how ads embed themselves in culture, Canada's ihaveanidea.org and agency Taxi have created three very funny, insiderish videos that show the cultural power, well, at least to those of us in the industry, of popular ad campaigns.

by Steve Hall    Dec-16-05    
Topic: Trends and Culture



Family Group Forces Retailers to Say 'Merry Christmas'

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Oddly, the American Family Association thinks everyone in America is Christian and celebrates the Christmas holiday. Certainly the vast majority are and do and the recent politically correct shift from labeling everything formerly known as "Merry Christmas" to "Happy Holidays" may have gone too far but we're not sure we need an organization to force companies to say "Merry Christmas" in their marketing. But, unsurprisingly, in our overly issue-oriented world, there is.

The American Family Association has been boycotting stores such as Sears and Target for not including "Merry Christmas" in their signage and advertising. Apparently, the AFA is quite powerful. Both retailers have relented and added "Merry Christmas" to their messaging. We don't know what's more stupid; forcing a retailer to adhere to one particular religion over another or the politically correct insanity that got us here in the first place.

by Steve Hall    Dec-15-05    
Topic: Opinion, Policy, Strange, Trends and Culture



There Is Most Certainly Life After the :30

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During the bathroom breaks and :30 coffee breaks we are allowed here at Adrants headquarters, we have finally finished Joe Jaffe's book Life After the 30-Second Spot. Actually, we finished it about two weeks ago but, again, we aren't allowed much time here to do anything serious what with all the stunt marketing and cleavage out there that had to be given our journalistic excellence. So, finally, we've found a few moments to hide from the Adrants Overlords to reflect on Jaffe's book and share our thoughts with you.

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by Steve Hall    Dec-15-05    
Topic: Agencies, Brands, Opinion, Television, Trends and Culture



Online Video Growth Stunted by Old School :30 Mindset

Following his trip the the recent iMediSummit, Underscore Marketing President Tom Hespos is voicing his frustration with the advertising industry's continued cling to the television nipple. Concerned that many new online video advertising opportunities will amount to "shovelware TV," Hespos reports many industry execs are pleased as punch with the status quo, happy to unnecessarily pay middlemen to serve their precious TV spots and offended at the notion online video should be any different than a :30 spot.



'White' Agencies Are 'Biased, Greedy, Stupid'

Writing on TalentZoo as a guest columnist, copywriter, brand consultant and author Hadji Williams brings to light the rampant dismissal among major agencies of multicultural advertising and explains how "ethnic" agencies are brought in by AOR's at the last minute to black/Latino/Asian-ize campaigns only to have them end up looking stupid and perpetuating stereotypes. It's an insightful examination of the practice and one I can admit to engaging in having done my fair share of minimizing the importance of the ethnic portion of a campaign.

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by Steve Hall    Dec- 8-05    
Topic: Agencies, Brands, Opinion, Trends and Culture