No, Cinnamon Sticks are Not Made of Sweet 'N Low.

Healthy Food Brands is reintroducing the Sweet 'N Low candy line. Chadwick Communications was selected to spread the word, so it created a print ad campaign that I guess makes the candy look low-fat yet saucy.

"Light my fire" is at left, and here's "Get off my cloud."

"Sweetened with isomalt and acesulfame potassium." LOL.

University Of Phoenix Allies Itself to Bloggers

Awhile ago, The Economist published an article about digital nomads, a growing class of workers that aren't anchored to an office. (Typically they're anchored to wi-fi, possibly the cruelest micro-manager of all.) People like this now constitute 30 percent of the US workforce.

I don't think most people think all-online professions are very realistic ("Clearly she's a trustafarian!"), so articles like The Economist's are a big step toward legitimizing them to pinstriped peers and bummed-out parents.

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What's That? It's a Phone Charger, Powered By My Mooooves.

European mobile carrier Orange has launched a phone charger powered by dance energy.

"The Orange Dance Charge is the result of months of research into alternate, sustainable energy sources to power mobile phones during summer music festivals," says the pressie with a straight face.

The unit was developed with help from GotWind, whose unfortunate name refers to renewable energy research, not the thing that happens when you pull Uncle's finger. The charger's system of weights and magnets provides an electrical current when a person flails about.

Orange Dance Charge was tested at the Glastonbury Festival last month. A promotional Dance Charging Man helped newbs charge phones in exchange for a dance.

Yeah, I've fallen for that one before. Just one dance, baby ... and I'll give you a charge, all right.

Men Are Spending More to Improve Their Self-Worth. Don't Be Dumb, Cash In Early

Earlier today, Gay List Daily sent its (mostly male) subscribers an invitation to try John Allan beauty products. The pitch began like so:

Meet John Allan. He's been quietly hiding in New York developing a line of men's care. His set of products satisfies a man's every grooming need, from hair care, personal care, shaving, and skin beautifiers.

Skin beautifiers?

Okay. I realize I'm on a gay mailing list, but mens' increasing willingness to explore beauty regimens -- and shop for style's sake (think Beckham!) -- isn't a gay vs. straight thing anymore. For a growing number of guys, the pursuit of youth, beauty and expensive jeans has become a norm. And not just among metrosexuals. (In fact, most men we'd call "metro" don't even like the term.)

How much do we know about mens' changing self-perception -- and their shopping habits? Probably too little. Marketers and book writers like shining the spotlight on the so-called gender minority with her iron hand on the family pocketbook. She's always stealing the show!

Meanwhile, we've let Axe run off with the New Male Order.

Looking to change that? Then you should read Branded Male.

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Th1ng Saves London, Flash Searched, Millennials Charge, FailWhale Merched

- Th1ng was chosen to whore "London's outstanding cultural and business successes" and "its film industry and talent" for the London 2012 Olympic Games. Sounds like hard times in the Mother Country.

- With the launch of Facecard, edo teaches Millennials how to confuse money with plastic. I wish I'd had a self-interested big brother who cared enough to teach me how to charge. Oh wait, I did: Wells Fargo.

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Shredded Wheat (with Strawberries!): the Official Cereal of Wayward Women

What satisfies a hungry woman? Not the muscle-bound napper at left. Shredded Wheat with Strawberries, on the other hand, might give sex-starved Wifey a run for the money.

The ad comes straight out of next month's Real Simple and is brought to you by Post, the come-hither cereal company with plenty of other other colon-friendly choices. Tempting. But will they make us breakfast in bed?

MySpace to Redesign. See Mock-Ups Here

MySpace is redesigning its site, partly to make it more ad-friendly.

It also plans to improve nav, music and internal search, MySpaceTV (expect better embed/sharing options) and profile editing (kinda nifty).

Phase I of the redesign goes live June 18th. One advertiser bought all MySpace's ad real estate for that day. No word on who it is, but expect a major brand or an overhyped movie. (Film promotions for The Incredible Hulk are currently wreaking havoc on the homepage.)

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Office Freakout Outed, Soup Gets Cocky, Sarkozy Smoked, Renetta Denies Obama-legiance

- David Griner of AdFreak reveals the promotional origins of that one office freakout video. You should thank him; it involved interpreting Russian. (Well, no, not really.) Also, Angelina Jolie is a factor. Collective ooOooOooh.

- Traffic scores the $185 million Mitsubishi account. Meanwhile, the Michelin Man gets cozy with TBWA\Chiat\Day. Awwww.

- Beef and vegetable not doing the job? Treat yourself to cock flavoured soup mix. Just like mama used to make.

- France's Le Figaro was given promotional access to As if Nothing Happened, the latest album by Carla Bruni, the only First Lady we've ever seen naked. Her musical interpretation of Nicolas Sarkozy: "You are my junk. More deadly than Afghan heroin. More dangerous than Colombian white ... My guy, I roll him up and smoke him." SRSLY?

- Renetta McCann is "not joining the Obama campaign -- in any manner." Well, Renetta, Peter denied Jesus not once, not twice, but thrice. That didn't make them any less chummy.

I Could Be Wrong, But I'm Pretty Sure This Would Piss I.M. Pei Off

Apple is set to open its first France-based retail store right underneath the Louvre Pyramid. The store will be two stories high and will sit alongside brands like Sephora, Esprit and Virgin.

The Fortune blog -- linked above -- noted the Louvre Pyramid, which was built by I.M. Pei, would complement Apple's glass-encased Manhattan Fifth Ave. store nicely.

The image at left comes courtesy of Why Travel to France. It isn't likely Apple will totally appropriate the Pyramid -- but hell, Steve Jobs is a really persuasive guy. All he has to do is hold a conference in front of the museum and go, "This is going to be ... insanely great." (For effect, maybe he can whip a lighter, faster Pyramid out of an envelope.)

Who'll argue? Sarkozy? The Wall Street Journal? God? No.

Search Engines Sipped, Hitler Plays Hillary, Boston Gets Fish-Faced, Charney Pushes Package, Hello Kitty Gets Stuffed

- FunAdvice mashed up top search engine and soft drink brands, under the premise that search engines today inspire us the way colas once did. Hrm.

- Hitler plays the fated Hillary in this emotional Nazi interpretation of the Clinton/Obama nominee race. The best part is when he shouts "The DNC has thwarted my destiny!" while the women tremble in his midst. It wasn't as funny as Hitler Gets Banned though.

- Legal Sea Foods' "Fresh Fish" ads piss off the easily-rattled Bostonians. The MBTA decided to pull the ads after Green Line workers took offense to them. (Some ads said things like "This conductor has a face like a halibut." Touchy much?)

- Penis advertising gets you everywhere. Especially if you're Dov "The Colonel" Charney. Horrors.

- Build-a-Bear Workshop is partnering with Sanrio to let kids build Tropical Hello Kittys. "Tropical Hello Kitty's sun-kissed look is perfect for summer and we're certain that she'll be a big hit," says Dave Marchi of Sanrio. But will that sun-kissed pelt betray her age?