Cows Have Emotions. Feeling Like a Palio Yet?

Oh, awesome. Again for its Palio model, Fiat succeeds in confusing us more than it did yesterday.

Got two minutes? Watch an old man throw knives at a cow. Then hit the campaign website, where you can watch all sorts of other bizarre Brazilian fare.

Elave Goes Bare to Push Purity

Because it has nothing to hide (no nasty chemicals or cancer-causing agents), skincare brand Elave pitches product in the buff.

We've never seen so many different types of naked people doing all sorts of really ... well, mundane stuff. Where do we apply?

Drugs, Big Eyeball Inspire Mattress Purchase

How do you sell an overpriced Sleep Number bed? With drugs, of course, and a gigantic eyeball, which we're beginning to suspect is a more effective marketing tool than we thought. Or at least a more popular one, anyway.

Wakey'z Drug Mall, which hopes through pretty pink pills to demonstrate people need fewer artificial means of finding rest, was created by McKinney, Durham. We're not quite convinced but reserve our judgment to see what else they do with the bloodshot drug-peddling cartoon character.

Dance Responsibly, or the Vodka-Buzzed Dance Cops Will Get You

Meet HI NRG, a vodka-based energy drink whose campaign site Dance Responsibly features three videos that have captured violations of our sensory rights.

Inspired by the self-policing "drink responsibly" sash alcohol brands are so fond of wearing, HI NRG claims to give you so much energy that it too must be had responsibly. Lest you diverge, the stern dance police will (you hope, we're sure) whip you back into shape.

And because it wouldn't be a legit marketing strategy without one, the site also features a CGM campaign for $3,000, almost a third lower than the going bedroom-dancing rate of $10,000, a figure that seems to fall out of CGM coffers like candy out of a big fat pinata.

Because neither the pleather-porting sex kitten cops nor the dance-themed campaign were enough of a back-decade rip-off, the drink had to call itself HI NRG too.

The campaign was put together by Kojo Interactive. We really can't think of a more devastating attempt to manifest the 90s. Wait, Alicia Silverstone just turned the corner.

Legal Seafoods Gets Raw with Crack-Worthy Crustaceans

One thing that's awesome about viral video is it gives brands a platform to loosen their politically-correct, manifesto-rich ties and shake out saltier inclinations.

Raw Talk from the Raw Bar, a video for Legal Seafoods restaurant, takes full advantage, running amock with sailor-caliber curses and sub-par seafood punning.

Whether the mouthy food or the mouthy company comprises the referenced "typical shellfish bastards" is your call.

Superpower Screw-Ups Get Revisited for Smart

Vlan! points us to some ads for the Smart car, a vehicle that, however practical, looks just as awkward as the expressions crystallized in these winning moments for icons like Saddam and Bush.

Awkward.

Smart's slogan: "Open your mind."

We wonder who they're talking to. We're pretty sure none of these foiblers suffered from lack of imagination - they all did some zany things that ended up upsetting most everybody in the world.

Could it be that we're supposed to identify with them? If that's so, the tags on the ads aren't deeply encouraging. For example, the line just above Clinton's frowny face reads, "Interns and cigars. Not smart." No shit, Sherlock.

Fancy Forks Elegantly Encourage Prison Ponders

We really dig this effort for PCA by Saatchi and Saatchi, Sydney, meant to discourage drunk driving by encouraging pre-meal meditations on jail.

Text reads, "Prison food doesn't taste this good." We don't know if the earnest forks prevented drunk driving but we're pretty sure they yielded a bit of implicit jail-rape humour, which make for handy ice-breakers for when dinner talk starts to wear thin.

Get a Fiat, but Avoid Temptation of Driving Along Subway Tracks

Okay. Leo Burnett, Sao Paulo sent us this Fiat ad, which we'd like to say we get, but we're really not sure.

Is the car fast? Is that it? Is it super strong or safe? Is it actually a train in an anomalous body whose unique capacities enable it to "lead the pack," so to speak, like Rudolphe the Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Are we overreaching?

Back? Knee? Head? Butt? Stomach? Gigantic Breast? Vaseline Doesn't Care

It's a back. It's a knee. It's a head. It's a butt. It's a distended stomach. It's a gigantic breasts. It's a...wait...should we have to work that hard to figure out what a visual is in an ad? Of course not but in this case it really doesn't matter because this is an ad for a skin care product. And back, knees, heads, butt's, stomach and gigantic breasts all have skin. In this ad for Vaseline Intensive Care Cocoa Butter, the marketer keeps us guessing which, when you think about it, is one great way to get people to pay attention to your ad.

MarketingCharts Launches, Chart Loving Planners Rejoice

Perhaps giving eMarketer a run for its money, a new site and newsletter, MarketingCharts from Watershed Publishing, publisher of MarketingVOX and MediaBuyerPlanner, has launched to provide marketers with charts, graphs, tables and all manner of data for marketers, advertisers and agencies.

We are told, "Content will focus on daily updates of key marketing data, both traditional and interactive, and daily stories digesting the latest studies and other data-intensive developments. Users will be able to download Excel files of data for their own use." The site will be edited by former MarketingVOX editor Vahe Habeshian.