For Royal Treatment in Developing Nation, Build Brand that Doubles as Tarp

We spent some time in the Philippines last week. Good news for old-school brand goliaths: free promotion is alive and well alongside freeways and in living spaces (at the same time!).

That, and offshore telesales. We're in the money now, baby.

Who's to Say Technology Doesn't Get Under the Skin?

Adrants reader Atif sent us this spot, snapped by Engadget at CES 2008. It causes us physical pain.

Not to say every questionable piece doesn't have its audience. Atif thinks the veins as headphone wires idea is cool, actually.

McDonald's Ends Report Card Advertising

Everyone bitched and McDonald's listened. Under pressure from the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood and 2,000 angry parents, the fast food giant haspulled the advertising it had placed on Seminole County, Florida's report cards. Graciously, McDonald's will still pay the cost of printing the report cards, the initial reason given for the ad placement.

Heart-Shaped Crotch Shot Promotes Italian Footwear Quality

In the customs line at Heathrow we saw this leggy ad reading "I love Italian shoes."

And then we blinked. What's that logo in the upper left-hand corner? Is that a wide-open, heart-shaped pair of legs? Then we understood. If crotch shots keep Britney in the public eye, why not use the same method to promote the quality of Italian footwear?

The logo and ads are brought to you by ANCI, the National Association of Italian Footwear Manufacturers. The ad we saw (and hastily snapped for posterity) goes on to say, "The words 'Made in Italy' are a guarantee of fine Italian-crafted shoes."

Who are we to say a quality product can't open wide every once in awhile?

Pocket Geek Game Tests Management Skills

We really like when business to business advertising leave behind the idiotic metaphors that so pervasively fill their advertising and, instead, opt for something, well, more fun. For power plant and air traffic control software developer QNX, Fuel Industries created The Pocket Geek, an online game whereby the player acts as manager to a developer for a five day project. In the game, a set of management tools helps the manager keep the developer fed and his productivity up. Between each day, there's an IQ quiz. Unfortunately, we blew the pocket geek up after just two days. Guess we suck as a manger. It was fun though.

Cheetos Gets Really, Really Weird With Orange Underground

After spending some time with Cheetos' new Orange Underground, a full blown movement "committed to transforming sterile order into messy mayhem," its primary purpose of urging people to do wacky Random Acts of Cheetos that don't involve eating makes perfect sense. After all, Cheetos aren't even food. They're just a bunch of man-made chemicals mixed together and placed in a bag. This campaign is much like the Mentos/Diet Coke thing whereby people were urged to perform all manner of chemical wizardry as opposed to actually consuming the products, both questionable, at best, as to whether or not they, too, are actual foods.

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Denver Wants Ego, Effie Calls Green, Absolut Does Vaginas

- The Denver Egoist, which covers the Colorado ad scene, is in search of an additional writer and is holding an essay contest. Check it out here.

- It seems American Idol judge Paula Abdul along with Madonna may perform during the Super Bowl. No one at FOX is confirming or denying anything and it's unclear when (and even if) either of them will make an appearance.

- Maybe because it's now OK to make movies about girls who have teeth in their vaginas, it's OK to develop an ad that looks just like the body part.

- The Green Effie Awards has announced its call for entries which will be due February 15. The Green Effies honor eco-marketing campaigns. Info here.

Teacher Suspended After Students See Her in Racy Ad

How many times have you done something you've regretted? Perhaps more that a few if you're the average human being. Thankfully though, for most, these regrets don't end up on YouTube for all to see...including your employer. This isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened but British private school teacher Sarah Green has found herself suspended from her job after her students unearthed a video she did for Scruffs Hardware construction clothing two years before taking her current teaching position.

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Gondry Lays Waste to Internet for 'Be Kind Rewind'

We used to be fans of Michel Gondry, the father of lush Levi's commercials and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. But then he came out with The Science of Sleep and shattered our childlike faith in his ability to do no wrong.

We're willing to forgive him, though. Check out the website for Be Kind Rewind, his latest oeuvre, created by Sydney and Tequila Australia.

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Rascal Flatts Says Milk Rocks. Do You Care?

We're not really sure who Rascal Flatts is. But they think milk rocks, and that's cool with us.

"Milk Rocks" is a contest that will be promoted online and on milk cartons nationwide, as well as on school lunchroom posters. Impressions are expected to hit one billion.

Oh, yeah. The terms of the contest: starting March 1, fans can hit milkrocks.com and upload videos of themselves karaoke-slaughtering a Rascal Flatts song of their choice. The winner gets a private meet-and-greet, a webcast concert with the band, and a meeting with a Lyric Street Records A&R rep.

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