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Parker Pisses, Gloves Sleep, Axe Smells, Lynx Attracts, Advergirl Advises - George Parker tells us why political advertising sucks and why doing shots in a local bar doesn't make on "one of the boys." - Somehow a boxing glove is suppose to induce sleep according to Sominex sleeping aid. - Axe is doing its "our smelly deodorant will make you a chick magnet" thing in Japan. Dykes Like Ike, Vespa Users Headless, Soulless Businesses Sing, Feminine Mystique for Sale - Senior exec Alan Cohen of Interpublic was named US CEO of OMD. Cohen has worked at 20th Century Fox, ABC and NBC. - Rock stars aren't made. They're mothafuckin' born. - Here's a Vespa campaign where people's heads are replaced with Vespa S headlights and handlebars. BlotTO gets philosophical about it. And for some reason, we're thinking East London decapitator meets hipster Terminator. - Think political smear campaigns are bad now? You clearly haven't lived that long. Our favourite: "Millard" is a pussy name. Followed closely by Dykes like Ike. (Look at that smile. How could they not?) - EPM Comm has published a very expensive brochure to teach marketers about women. Because come on, it's not like you know any real ones. Miller Blogs Bud, MoveOn Hates McCain, Saturday Night Extorts Horny Party People - Miller employee James Andorfer has launched The Brew Blog, which is oddly a really good resource for Anheuser-Busch news. Thanks AlexanderGordon for the tip. - John McCain is pissing people off again, and by "people" I mean MoveOn.org, which is circulating yet another "GRR, ARG, MCCAIN!" petition. - Saturday Night Magazine is inviting a few lucky bloggers to the Playboy Mansion on May 10th for a debauchery-ridden pajama party. Register at playboypajamaparty.com with the code on the invite. Oh, and cough up $1500. What, you thought the Hef would just open his door to you?! Havas Gains, Hilary Reaches, Campaign Confuses- Havas reports a 2.5 percent gain in revenue to $550 million for Q1 2008. What recession? - Hilary pulls out Osama Bin Laden to help her cause in her close race with Barak Obama. - These anti-smoking ads make no sense. No sense at all. None whatsoever. Nadda. Zip. Zilch. If you can't get enough news from CNN, now you can wear the organizations headlines on t-shirts custom printed with headlines you select. UPDATE: Scott from Dribblelass informs the URL can be altered to make up your own headlines. - Want to get into the ad business? Here's some advice from the board of the VCU Brandcenter. Bruni in the Buff Goes for $91,000 at Auction A naked photo of Carla Bruni, the current First Lady of France, just sold at a Christie's auction for about $91,000 after expectations it would raise $4K at most. The picture was taken in '93, when Bruni was a model. Not to say she's shed those winning ways. This month she appears nude in GQ, following accusations that she used a diplomatic visit with the Queen to plug her latest CD. Gotta love a quasi-political figure who knows how to play her PR cards. Malkin and Coulter, are you paying attention? See the $91,000 image. Behold ... in the Prairies, as Sinatra Croons, a Dick is Born Never trash a dude until you know a little something about where he comes from. With that said, watch a great American's life unfold in storybook form and to the tune of "Young at Heart." The video is for Young Dick Cheney, which Mel Brooks called "A funny book!" and Arianna Huffington said "Delivers a double-barreled blast of satiric buckshot." That's a lot of five-dollar words, thar. This isn't the first time a Cheney's been thrashed in child-friendly format. In '04, his gay daughter Mary was targeted in a la Dick and Jane. Nothing is sacred to the political machine. If somebody warps the Curious George omnibus to serve their sick machinations, I'm moving to Roald Dahl country. Loose Neo-Con Ladies: All Yours for $7 S&H Make the Logo Bigger says wouldn't it be funny if neo-con blog divas came in cereal boxes? They don't, but you can get one for $7 shipping and handling. Choose between dimply Michelle Malkin and icy blonde Ann Coulter. (Something for the whole family!) Cock-or-two jokes aside, if I were a spokeswoman, having "Luce ladies" over my head would piss me off to the nth. But hey. Others have died for their politics. The Luce Lady posters, which promote the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute, are currently heavily advertised on Malkin and Coulter's websites. Act now before they're gone forever. McCain Girls Not Helping McCain Who knew? McCain has his own bevy of Obama Girls. Well, sort of. These girls aren't exactly in the same hotness category as Obama Girl nor do they appear all that excited about their candidate. Nor can they sing. Not that looks or singing ability mean anything when it comes to supporting a presidential candidate. The McCain Girls first did Raining McCain. Now they're out with Here Comes McCain Again. The effort is the polar opposite of the Obama Girl effort. It makes the candidate looks as exciting as watching paint dry. Is this some sort of "uncool is the new cool" sort of thing? Those Wacky Borderless Reporters Are at It Again! Not all advertising for the Beijing Olympics is pretty and nice. Reporters without Borders is disseminating this image to remind Olympic fans how China treats reporters, activists and bloggers. The home of the Great Firewall is under pressure to open the 'net to journalists during the Games. "I'm satisfied that the Chinese understand the need for this and they will do it," said Vice Chairman Kevan Gospar of the International Olympic Committee's coordinating commission. VW Ad Garners Complaints for Depiction of Cowering, Shivering Dog Once again humor is trumped by those who love to bitch about ads with animals in them. A recent ad for Volkswagen which shows a dog having a great time while rising in a VW and a not so good time when he's not. England's Advertising Standards Authority has received 500 complaints about the ad but were told by the ad's creators the dog in the ad was acting. Still, the organization is "very disappointed that Volkswagen feel it necessary to portray a dog suffering to sell cars. You can argue this one either way. Have at it in the comment section. 
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