Like a Buzz Saw, Newcastle Takes the Edge Off

vitro robertson recently launched this bus shelter campaign for Newcastle. In each poster, a glass of Newcastle beer is set alongside something prickly, like a blowfish or a cactus. The part nearest to the beer is jarringly barb-free.

"Smooth like no other," the ads read.

Weird. But you know what would be neat? If the ads were tactile, maybe in a magazine or something. They could be like scratch-and-sniffs, except for your fingers.

Bendy Bare Asses Used to Advocate Mobile Service

In Punta di Penna sent us this spot for Telecom Italia Mobile (TIM). Produced by The Famil for agency Euro Rscg, a bunch of people -- mostly naked, but not always -- touch their toes to a cover of the Beatles' All Together Now. All that doubling-over draws an association with the flip phone that appears at the end.

Quirky. Now let's see the splits.

Those WWJD Bracelets? Way Past Their Prime. It's iPope Time

If you've ever wondered what's on the Pope's iPod or how best to share your love of Christ with swag, now you can find out.

There is a blog dedicated entirely to the Pope. And it is called -- wait for it! -- Benedictions. And it's slathered with Roman Catholic must-haves and lots and lots of ads for Pope-related books and speaking engagements.

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Bruni in the Buff Goes for $91,000 at Auction

A naked photo of Carla Bruni, the current First Lady of France, just sold at a Christie's auction for about $91,000 after expectations it would raise $4K at most.

The picture was taken in '93, when Bruni was a model. Not to say she's shed those winning ways. This month she appears nude in GQ, following accusations that she used a diplomatic visit with the Queen to plug her latest CD.

Gotta love a quasi-political figure who knows how to play her PR cards. Malkin and Coulter, are you paying attention?

See the $91,000 image.

Behold ... in the Prairies, as Sinatra Croons, a Dick is Born

Never trash a dude until you know a little something about where he comes from. With that said, watch a great American's life unfold in storybook form and to the tune of "Young at Heart."

The video is for Young Dick Cheney, which Mel Brooks called "A funny book!" and Arianna Huffington said "Delivers a double-barreled blast of satiric buckshot." That's a lot of five-dollar words, thar.

This isn't the first time a Cheney's been thrashed in child-friendly format. In '04, his gay daughter Mary was targeted in a la Dick and Jane.

Nothing is sacred to the political machine. If somebody warps the Curious George omnibus to serve their sick machinations, I'm moving to Roald Dahl country.

Loose Neo-Con Ladies: All Yours for $7 S&H

Make the Logo Bigger says wouldn't it be funny if neo-con blog divas came in cereal boxes? They don't, but you can get one for $7 shipping and handling. Choose between dimply Michelle Malkin and icy blonde Ann Coulter. (Something for the whole family!)

Cock-or-two jokes aside, if I were a spokeswoman, having "Luce ladies" over my head would piss me off to the nth. But hey. Others have died for their politics.

The Luce Lady posters, which promote the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute, are currently heavily advertised on Malkin and Coulter's websites. Act now before they're gone forever.

Geeks Banged, Phones Found, Foucan Leaps, Meth Murders

- Here's a trailer for The Big Bang Theory, a comedy of geek/glam stereotypes that will probably last all of two seasons. And the saddest part is, I'll probably watch it at some point. It returns April 14 on CBS.

- This stunt by agency New Message for The Phone, a Dutch show where a randomly-placed phone surprises whomever picks it up with a chance to win 25,000 Euros, was called "HILARISCH!" by one a YouTube fan. I didn't find it that funny, but I like that there are people somewhere in the world shouting "HILARISCH!", possibly even as I write this out.

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Justice 'The Optimizer' Mitchell Harnesses Power of Interwebs

Any video that ends with "We'll cram our YouTube right into your Facebook," has to at least get shared a little bit. Agency Luckie & Company create a video and an accompanying site, Demand Justice, to celebrate the hiring of a new head of interactive and to poke fun at others (hey, that's what agencies do) who just don't get online marketing.

Created to resemble any one of the millions of cheesy lawyer ads you see on TV during fringe, late night and overnight, the ad features Justice "The Optimizer" Mitchell who confidently promises to "improve whatever crap you're doing online by...some sort of metric." Now that's the sort of honesty we love in an ad agency!

No One's Watching That YouTube Video You Paid For

MultiVu, a service of PRNewswire, will help you create and distribute a multimedia news release to "more than 100 million consumers and investors who get their news and information on the Web."

If you have a company video or ad embedded into your release, MultiVu will share it on popular sites like YouTube and Veoh as part of its distribution service. Pretty cool, right? It's not all good though.

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So, How Intensely Talented is Your Mouth?

Because Colgate wants to know. o_O Catch the cattle call for "intensely talented mouths" all over MySpace today.

And speaking of mouths with intense talent, get a load of the nipple-tasting action on the lower right-hand side of the page.

All that dirty context doesn't really leave us with that fresh clean feeling. Exactly what kind of submissions do you want, Colgate?