Nothing Spells Scandal Like Fantasy Baseball!

America's two favourite pastimes, baseball and soap operas, meet at this most unexpected intersection.

"Endless Drama," a campaign where pipe dreams collide and deception runs rampant, is Arnold's saucy way of saying, "Play a little fantasy baseball on ESPN's tab. Because hey, face it, kid. It's not like you have the balls* to pick up a real bat and face the outside world anyway."

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Mug Stirs Guilt Trip into Every Hot Drink

To draw attention to climate change, the World Wildlife Federation (WWF) made special mugs with the world's land mass printed on them. The land disappears when you fill the cup with something hot, leaving parched parties with scathing food for thought:

"A global climate increase of just two degrees Celsius will have irreversible, catastrophic effects. www.wwfchina.org."

WWF disseminated 250 of these sunny mugs to attendees at the UN Climate Change Conference in Bali. The Dutch Environmental Minister said it "dramatically captured the critical nature of the global warming issue."

Dismal. Also, reason No. 546 to pick up an ice-cold Coca-Cola.

April Fools Around the 'Net: From Handhelds to Email, Everybody Wants to Fuck with You

- Qualcomm announced the Handsolo today. It's waterproof, battery-free and has unlimited expandable memory. Also, you can wank off with it.

- Gmail Custom Time, which lets users send up to 10 emails to the past per year, debuted today. Wouldn't it be neat to get a drunken rant from Future You?

- Seriously, you should get paid to whore for friends on Facebook. Because come on. Two thousand friends? That's a few dozen impressions at least.

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Heineken Improves Nightlife With E Squad

Here's a new Heineken commercial featuring a green-clad clan of "cops" who patrol the night to make sure people are out having a good time and not wasting the night away working late or solving puzzles.

Agent Provocateur Launches Game For Window Peepers

Our favorite purveyor of lingerie, Agent Provocateur, has a new game and a new adventure out so if you're into sexy lingerie, games that are called Peep in Paris and episodic video installments, head over to Agent Provocateur for some afternoon delight.

When Advertising Maturnity Bras, Use Models Who Actually Need Support

You'd think if a maternity bra ad was going to get all constructionist with cranes to depict the supportive nature of the bra, they'd get a model with huge boobs who actually looked like she needed support like this lady or this lady who both look like they need cranes to hold their breasts up. Except, of course, when they're modeling ridiculously too small bikini tops.

Come on people. If you want to make a statement, get a bit more dramatic about it. People might actually notice your ads a bit more.

M&M Gets Blue Balls, Licks Himself to Mother's Horror

Like a mother walking in on her son in the middle of a masturbation session, this M&M commercial has a blue M&M sitting on a couch licking himself because he tastes so good while mom walks in, surprised, and asks, "Are you licking yourself?"

One can just imagine the concepting conversation:

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American Apparel Puts Woody Allen on Billboard, Allen Angry

Perhaps in reaction to complaints about their over-sexified imagery in their advertising, American Apparel has decided to opt for something mush less sexy: an image of Woody Allen. Yup, he's up on billboards in New York and California as well as in online ads.

Not too happy about his image being used without permission, Allen has sued American Apparel for over $10 million in damages. American Apparel's decision to use Allen's image seems to make sense though. American Apparel loves to use young girls in their ads and Allen likes to marry them. I'd call that a great use of celebrity in advertising.

Anti-Fur Blood Bath Goes Cartoon in New Online Game

Like that commercial years ago where a runway model wearing a fur coat suddenly begins spewing blood all over the audience, this new game from PETA lets you pick an animal and run around a Burberry store spray painting fur-clad mannequins while security guards attempt to hunt you down.

There are three levels. I got through the first one and bailed on the next two but it was a fun little time waster.

Don't Just Join a Startup; Start Up a New Chapter for Man.

Last year Google turned your love life into an algorithmically solvable search problem. This year it's teamed up with Virgin to give us Virgle: the adventure of not one, but many lifetimes.

Apply to become a Virgle pioneer and you could win a coveted slot on a ship to Mars. It will be dangerous. It will be uncomfortable. It will be unnecessarily expensive. "But your enriched descendants will appreciate your sacrifice, which should render worthwhile your choice to spend the rest of your (perhaps radically foreshortened) life in deprivation and uncertainty," Virgle assures you.

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