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Never in Our Lives Have We Equated Golf with Sex. Not Recently, Anyway Adrants reader Matt pointed us in the direction of this strange site for Mizuno's Demo the Difference campaign. Those little golf club capsules are amusingly phallic. And we love those beams of light that shoot into the air when you mouse over one. Way to draw eyeballs! Christmas Tree Gets Needled by Audi Yes, it's car ad. Yes, it shows the car. Yes, it shows the car driving briskly on a snow covered road. Yes, it's Christmas (oh, sorry...holiday) themed. But this one is a bit different. Not that much different but different enough to keep our attention. but only just. And, if we arrived home with that poorly cared for thing atop our car, we'd head right back to the farm and get another. Yea, yea, Audis can drive fast on snow but not that fast. It was created by Venables, Bell & Partners and edited by Phoenix Editorial & Designs. And despite what you might think, we like it. Just the right amount of sell. Just the right amount of holiday tie in. And just the right amount of hook to make it interesting. Dell Undergoes Brand Adolescence, and it Ain't Pretty We can't help but notice Dell is using its XPS model to (ever so innocuously) try repositioning its brand as a whole. For this decidedly complicated gig, it enlisted Mother, NY, which in August demanded that we reconcile a passel of mod devotchkas to our mental image of Dell. It was a brave and interesting effort, but an ultimately unconvincing one. For the XPS One, Dell and Mother are pushing harder still. Bible Tales Repurposed to Guilt Gluttons into Conscious Consumption For many, nothing ushers in the holidays like the story of Mary and Joseph's return to Bethlehem, right before the birth of Jesus. But in Green Thing's version of the story, Mary and Joseph are selling a new kind of salvation: environmental awakening. Oh Yes, It's True, Coke Goes There(.com) Looking to sip a pop while engaging in island frivolity? Look no further than CC Metro, an entertainment-filled virtual isle on There.com, courtesy of Coca-Cola. The island will be Coke bottle-shaped and features music, games and other piped-in stuff that execs think will draw hipsters to the flame. Better yet, they've come up with a new buzzword (because "virtual island" is so passe): "realistic environment." That sounds almost like something that wants to be confused for real life, except it can't be, because it isn't. There's a new one for the bullshit dictionary. Big Breasted Lingerie-Clad Girl Bounces For Chocolate This commercial for a Japanese candy is more than a year old but it is so ridiculous we just have to share it with you. It's a pretty well known fact men (well, the straight ones at least) across the globe find it very pleasing to look at a pretty woman with big breasts wearing nothing but sexy underwear and a tiny bra. Even more so if the lady decides to jump up and down while bouncing uncontrollably in that tiny bra. Some countries are just more open than others when it comes to allowing that activity to be publicly displayed. In Romania, They Still Send Snail Mail After viewing this commercial for Romania's Post Office, we feel the need to go hand write a nice, long, heartfelt letter to the old college girlfriend telling her how much we still love her and how we wish...OK...so that'll never happen but after watching this Tempo Advertising-created ad, you just might want to. Who knew writing a letter was such a big deal. McDonald's Stoops to New Low With Report Card Advertising Hey kids! Guess what? If you study hard and get good grades, guess what you'll get? No, not a college scholarship, sillys. That would be too boring. No, if you get good grades on your report card, you'll get a Happy Meal coupon on the card that you can use to get fat...uh...have a free lunch. Yea, people, you read that right. In-school advertising's idiocy has spread to report cards. Yes, report cards. For covering the paltry $1,600 printing cost of Seminole County Florida's 2007-2008 report cards, McDonald's was able to place the coupon on the report cards of kids who received all A's and B's. Yes, you also read that right. Only smart kids are allowed to get fat. Coca-Cola Gets Cozy with Wanderlust-Afflicted Octopus Here are a couple of ads (Grip and Voyage) that promote the grips on Coke bottles. They involve a friendly green octopus that adds grip to the bottles with help from its handy-dandy suction cups. Any campaign that improves the reputation of octopuses to children is a great campaign in our opinion, because we think they're a grossly underrated sea creature. (And to think -- every re-airing of The Little Mermaid will undo all this fine work.) On the other hand, these might just freak people out and get them all sketchy about touching textured Coke bottles. Contextual Fuckery Solved by Actual Humans (Who Knew?) Now this is cool. We've already got contextual ads. We've already got behavioral ads. But we all know how much fuckery can sometimes come from those automated solutions. Wouldn't it be cool if the content of banners were matched to the content of the page by an actual, intelligent human being as opposed to a garbage in/garbage out, brainless computer? 
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