Stride Lasts So Long Your Children's Children Will Be Chewin' It

In "Heirloom," a somber man intercepts his son -- clearly bound for some far-off initiation to adulthood (uni? The military? The jungle?) -- to pass him something that's been in the family for generations.

Check out the molar marks on that ancient piece of Stride ("the ridiculously long-lasting gum")! Heirlooms don't get more intimate than that.

Agency: JWT/Puerto Rico.

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Della Offends, Food Talks, Logos Wanted, Texting Pays Off

- Yawn. Twitter all aflutter over supposedly sexist Dell website.

- In what feels like the world's longest commercial, food talks about how great Dixie's new paper plates are.

- Got a great logo? Submit it to Wolda, an annual worldwide logo award competition.

- Premium Channels has introduced Premium Campaign Echoes, advertorial mentions that "echo" banner creative.

- Think you're the fastest texter out there? Check out LG's annual US National Texting Championship. You could win $50,000.

- The world's weirdest Coke commercial.

- Paste Magazine is on it's last legs and will launch a "Save Paste" campaign later today.

MoMA's 'I See' Weds the Abstract to Real Life

We confess to being surprised by this video, one component of a campaign called "I See" for the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA). In it, a bored museum-goer holds an audio guide to his ear and listens while it describes an abstract installation in a way that, while mundane, still struck us as strangely magnetic.

Without any audible change in tone, the audio guide suddenly ties the humiliation of the artist, who debuted his work in 1913, to a recent experience its listener suffered at the office. The voice, markedly female, remains sympathetic but professionally pitch-perfect, as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening.

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Are You A Loser Who Can't Find Your Own Wife?

Spoofing the whole mail order bride thing, this ad reads, Are you Asian looking for an overweight, middle income, redheaded Caucasian husband with dorky glasses, a cheap watch and really hairy arms?"

Cheater Video is Actually Boat Promotion. Who Knew?

"Cheaters" depicts a guy destroying the car and motor home of his cheating wife's beau -- using a boat suspended from a crane.

And in the event you wonder why, just wait for them to talk. Then you'll go "...ohhhh" -- and maybe, if you're like us, you'll have a weird inexplicable desire to watch Deliverance.

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It's Not Prince Charming You Need; It's a Really Good Plan B.

UK moms reportedly have their panties all in a bunch because of an over-the-counter morning after pill*, Levonelle One Step, that positions itself as "The One."

See ad here. It kinda reminded us of the French AIDS ones except less raunchy -- although there were a few Kodak moments, like when the condom splits over the heads of the sleeping couple, and grinning sperm fly out like a harmless school of fish.

The tagline is simply "Levonelle One Step. The One" -- which some huffy parents argue "trivialises a very important issue" (pregnancy).

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Pepsi Will Make You A Rock Star...And A Garbage Climber

As soda ads go, this one's pretty interesting. At least in terms of the special effects. Though we're not really sure what a city turned into a pile of junk says about our culture. Seriously. Are we to believe a sip of Pepsi makes it possible for a person to overcome all of life's insurmountable odds? Oh, wait. No. It's not that deep. All Pepsi does is create the delusion you're a rock star. Yea, that's it.

And yea, we know there's a "don't let life's meaningless crap get you down" message in there somewhere. CLM BBDO created.

Sports Journalist Obsessed With Hot Volleyball Player in Ad

Wow. And you thought we obsessed over the beautiful people who appear in advertisements? CNBC's Darren Rovell has taken it to a new level with his effort to track down ripped volleyball player Nora Tobin to find out why she appeared in a recent FRS ad.

Rovell has searched the internet, made phone calls, spoken to a photographer who shot her and, yes, put out an "all points bulletin" to Tobin hoping she'll contact him and tell him her story. Even we aren't that creepy.

Oh wait, is he practicing "real" journalism? OK. It all makes sense now.

Miracle Whip Brings the, Uh, Zing.

Here's a brand we haven't thought of in awhile: Miracle Whip. (That stuff still exists? YES! And the packaging ain't changed a bit.)

Blessed with the hefty task of building Miracle Whip awareness among the remaining 18-34-year-olds that don't have debilitating eating disorders, yesterday AKQA launched "Bring the Zing," a digital campaign that weds the white stuff to online activity.

"Zingers" is an archaic word for "witty comebacks," given new life for the malevolent purposes of the digital generation. At the Miracle Whip website, a wee app called Zingr Beta lets you leave comments all over the 'net via Facebook Connect. Naturally, each Zingr you sprinkle appears on your Facebook Newsfeed.

Give it a whirl and let us know what you think. As demonstrated by this post, we're clinically incapable of being witty this early in the morning.

Please Let This Be the Last Time We Have to Define 'Viral'

Dear Adrants,

This is a viral we have done recently in poor little Budapest, Hungary.
I hope you will like it.

Best,
Attila Nyeki
(CD Grey Budapest)

Dear Attila,

Best,
Steve Hall
Editor, Adrants