'Dream of a Truly Free Marketplace' Can be Realized -- with Gas Masks

And if you're willing to buy that, also consider Anarkon's Molotov cocktails and concert series DVDs. Options include revolutionary titans like (suck in your scoff!) Anthrax and Rage Against the Machine.

Finally, an affiliate network with imagination. Just wish it were clearer what the service offering is. But I guess that's the kind of thing you telephone for.

Rubicon Project Mocks its Own Merits

The Rubicon Project tapped its "LA movie friends" to create this spoof vid, in which Channel 3 News goes behind the scenes to pinpoint the company's awesomeness.

I was told this would be "a tongue-and-cheek take on the magic" behind Rubicon's success, but until 1:25 it's nothing but pure pitch.

That was irritating. But afterward the whole thing was kinda funny.

Frank Addante is awesome as the young, arrogant startup douchebag. Know how Rubicon screens for talent and makes VC cash? Chugging contests. Not that that's a secret; anybody who's been to one of their parties could've figured that out.

Just wish I'd seen the hilarity coming before Minute One was up. Because seriously, I thought I'd been tricked into sitting for a demo. Actually, I still kinda suspect that I did.

Great Milk Comes from Happy Cows. And the Happy Cows are Casting!

The California Milk Advisory Board is screening for its next bovine star. And guess who gets to pick her? You! Between October 13 and September 30, trawl audition vids and cast your vote.

Of 10 total, only two videos, "Alicia" and "Jenn," are currently available to view. Alicia reeks of The Real World, and little Jenn's being constantly goaded on by her attention-starved mom.

Videos of the hopeful heifers will be repurposed as TV spots. I hope one of Silk's renegade soy cows enters, because no audition series is complete without some wacked-out anti-establishment radical.

Now You Don't Have to Wonder What the Mirror Thinks

I can't help thinking Snow White's childhood would have been less tragic if her evil stepmother was fed marketing propaganda, and not beauty validation, from her enchanted mirror:

"Mirror mirror, who's the fairest?"

"You're very close! Here's a projection of what La Mer can do about those unsightly crow's feet."

If, like other emotionally unavailable moms, she spent all her free time working on herself, she would probably never have gotten hip to the "fact" Snow White was -- le gasp! -- prettier than she was.

I'm thinking these thoughts because Alpay Kasal and Interference Inc. created something called the Interactive Mirror, which lets people "draw" across reflective surfaces or interact with stuff that's already there (like ads!).

See a demo. I like it when the girl runs her finger down the mirror and flowers bloom along the trail. Oh, it's also neat when the guy customizes a shirt. The photo-viewing feature is cool too.

This is pretty nifty all around, actually. I can imagine it seeing it in "ambiance" stores like Virgin.

Creative Director Finds Lost Ring, Agency Dutifully Issues Press Release

OK. Everyone in unison now. "Awwwww...how sweet." Isn't that how you'd react to Mullen Associate Creative Director Bob Pirrmann getting his wedding ring back after losing it three month earlier in the four story, 200,000 gallon New England Aquarium tank? No? Right. Neither did we but it's still an interesting story.

Back in July, Pirrmann, a certified diver, was at one of the Aquarium's public dives where the agency wsas celebrating the launch of Sharks & Rays, an exhibit for which the agency created a campaign.

Thinking the ring was lost forever, Pirrmann gave up hope of ever seeing it again until this past Sunday when he received a call from the Aquarium informing him part time Aquarium diver Mike Whyte had found the ring nestled among, yes, finger corals at the bottom of the tank. Today, Pirrmann returned to the Aquarium for a dive with Whyte who showed Pirrmann just where his ring had been hiding for the last three months. A mini media frenzy ensued.

All parties went home happy. The media got its story. The agency got some press. Pirrmann got his ring back. And Pirrmann's wife got her man back having reattached Bob's balls which she'd been holding ransom since the ring was lost.

Lisa P. Maxwell Exposes Agency Members to Outside Interference

Nodding to the transparency craze, last March Modernista created the most transparent website imaginable. Instead of telling people about itself, it used public websites -- over which the agency had little or no control -- to relate the story instead.

For its own redesign, agency Lisa P. Maxwell tackled "transparency" from a different angle. Visit the site for unfettered access to all its creatives. There they are, live on streaming webcams, waiting for a chat buddy who hopefully won't shriek "SHOW BOOB."

Weeeeird. Could the Zeitgeist (that's us!) be the "Big Brother" George Orwell so feared? I smell a dissertation!

Economy Got You Down? Buy A Chainsaw, Cut Some Trees

Appearing today in USA Today and The Wall Street Journal, Stihl offers confidence to wary consumers that, of late, hear nothing but bad news about the economy. With so many portfolios in shambles, Stihl promises to be a sharp investment in today's crazy market.

Say what? Is that a chainsaw in the ad? So, like, the solution is to take a chainsaw to your portfolio and dramatically carve it up because, given Wall Street, anything less would be wimpy?

Oh wait, Stihl isn't a financial management firm. It makes power tools. And not just any crappy power tools like the ones you can find cheaply priced at Home Depot or Lowe's. Nope. Stihl is an investment, not an expenditure because, unlike the cheap tools you have you buy over and over because they always break, Stihl is a life long investment. Or so the ad would have us believe.

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Live Takes Visa. No, Wait. Life Takes Vista

While the Life Takes Vista spoof has been around for a while in various forms, this new take offers up even more goofy creative mashups such as "A dog rolls over, a man scrolls over," "He takes Levitra. Life Takes Vista" and "I'm a naked PC."

It's amusing enough though the least the creators could do is get the Share on Facebook link to work properly.

Pair the Agency Ego to His Celebrity Doppelganger!

Vote for the most uncanny likeness between men in advertising/media and men in Hollywood. Because if we can't be somebody who matters, it's sorta comforting to look like someone who does.

This effort's among several other irresistible list-candy posts that Glam is using to promote Brash.com, the men's network it launched last week. Other lip-smackin' slices of data pornography include the Brash Hall of Fame (50 legendary men!) and the Brash 100 (men still changing the game).

Ogilvy Athens Causes David to Roll Over in Grave

On par with the embarrassingly horrid Bank of America internal ballad, Ogilvy Athens has unleashed its own horror show in the form of an ode to the agency's founder.

Thankfully, the beginning of the video comes with the warning, "CAUTION: The following video clip is an amateur effort. It was produced and edited by the staff of Bold Ogilvy Athens."

Heaven help Ogilvy Athens when the agency's clients see this and begin running for the door, screaming, "OMFG! Those people are producing and editing our work?"

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