Nobody Likes an Iron Fist; Rule Instead with Iron Thumbs

"But how...?" you ask.

By tethering underlings to consuming new workloads, straight from your spankin' new BlackBerry Pearl. Imagine how much more satisfying your pointless requests will be once they're liberated from the constraints of a timesheet and a computer!

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Don't Be Fooled, It's a 'Super-Tasting Bird.'

Visit the Chocolate Steam Dream Machine to make your own Cadbury chocolate bar. If the parrot -- yes, there's a parrot -- likes what you made, he might send you the candy bar you created. If you live in the UK, that is.

Cute. I actually feel like having chocolate now, but not because the idea of a free almond/apple/banana bar is particularly appetizing.

It's that rich purple packaging. Something about it just primes me for a Cadbury cream-filled wonder.

VIFF Turns Camera Eye to Film Festival Audience

"I was immediately attracted to the idea of turning the movie screen into a kind of mirror to the audience," says Chris Hutsul of Soft Citizen, referring to the spots he directed for the Vancouver International Film Festival (VIFF).

They're smart, funny and unexpectedly existential -- but also familiar, because you see yourself in each of these snapshots: your rage at late-coming friends, your perplexity toward abstract cinema, or the way some foreign films turn you into an overthinking, turtleneck-sporting douchebag. With a ponytail.

o The Overanalyzer
o The Foreign Film
o The Seat-Saver
o The Front Row
o The First Question
o The Die Hard

They end neatly -- gratefully, even -- with the words "We're glad you're here." (So glad, in fact, that they -- meaning VIFF -- have also given you a game to play. It's an amusing one-time distraction, enough of an experience to leave you feeling good, post-chortle.)

Agency: TBWA/Vancouver. Soft Citizen produced, Secret Location assisted with interactive production.

St. Pauli Girl Creates Dilemma With St. Pauli Girl Vote

For the first time in its 31 year history, St. Pauli Girl is letting the public choose its new St. Pauli Girl and in doing so has created a dilemma of epic proportion. How does one choose the hottest of the hot when the hottest are, well, already the hottest? Teaming with Maxim, St. Pauli Girl has anointed four finalists and is asking the public to make the final determination as to which of the four will become the new St. Pauli Girl.

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Levi's Wants Men to Unleash Their Beast

In what appears to be a last ditch effort to make itself a relevant brand and something even the most fashion-unconscious would ever consider buying, Levis has resorted to grade school humor with Unbutton Your Beast. And, yes, they do mean the trouser snake.

Created by EVP and LAIKA/house, a collection of trouser puppets offer up nastiness you can send to your friends. It's not Dick in a Box which at least had the decency to leave something to the imagination. Nope, Unbutton Your beast is very blatantly all about what's behind the zipper and how much it wants to come out and play.

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Award Shows Aren't About Work; They're About Getting Trashed Beyond Recognition

DDB/Stockholm knows the score. For the Roy awards, which it claims are among Sweden's most prestigious ad shows, it produced this print ad featuring the Cadbury gorilla -- puking its brains out.

"Roy: Great advertising and open bar," the ad concludes.

Get tickets here. Hope you can read Swedish.

Stock Photo Faux-Viral Attracts Bloggers, But Not Corbis

Everyone that starts an agency has a dream account -- a client that, upon winning its business, validates your ability to both create and persuade.

Corbis is that dream for General Projects, a just-launched design shop that wooed its prospective client with Schtock.com.

Schtock is really flippin' cool. Each time you reload the site, you see a random, totally abstract image. When you click on the "About the image" tab, you'll find each one was composed of many stock photos. The work at left, for example, is called "Emo." Here's how many stock photos it took to produce it.

The site blog claims Schtock is the lovechild of someone at "a major stock photo company," putting illicit use to imagery that see nothing but the cutting-room floor. "Corbis" isn't mentioned outright, but all the photos can be found on Corbis's image search.

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Tourists Promote PA Tourism

Red Tettemer's launched "PA Stories," a campaign where Pennsylvania tourists tell other tourists their memorable Pennsylvania story.

That sounds cheesy, facile and unoriginal, but the execution was surprisingly good. (Thankfully, the urge to recruit nothing but bloggers was resisted this time.)

At left is "Bonnie Appleseed," the epic story of the best apple bobber off the Dutch Country Roads. Also see "Sticky Situation," about a blind date that takes place in Abay; "Stag Party," where a newlywed husband gets stripped by an elk; and this cute little billboard, "Wildlife and Shopping."

Ex-tourists can submit other stories at Visit PA.

WaMu Fades to Grey, Petco Hamster Races, Branding with LASERBEAMS

- Last week Washington Mutual ran this colorful little ad on its homepage. It reads, "Most banks are grey. That's not our style." Its fortunes have changed since then. See what ad they're running now. (Thanks to Adrants reader Martha for the link.)

- Who's the dick writing comments on your blog? Via David Griner at Adfreak.

- Over the bar-and-bowling scene? Hit up a hamster race near you. (Come prepared. See track specs.)

- Branding with LaserGames. Watch out for epilepsy.

- Alphas eat beef jerky.

- Bored or pissed off at Cubicle Cog #4? Play the Super Fantastic Corporate Confusion game. Unlike life, it will not let you down.