Why Go the Long Way? Take the Career Path Express.

If you happen to be a "..." seeking "...?", you're in luck! NYU's Career Path Express has your number.

The Career Path Express is a co-branded program between NYU and NavAgility, which I guess helps full-time students or people with families get back on the fast track to DoctorLawyerville.

Smooching Hubbies Targeted by Christian Group -- and the Ad Hasn't Even Aired Yet!

The American Family Association has convinced Heinz to suppress a Deli Mayo ad that hasn't even appeared on American TV.

The spot features a male couple kissing good-bye. And unlike the trashy Snickers kiss ad, which generated national backlash during Super Bowl 2007, it takes a step toward normalizing the gay family:

Morning sun pours through an ordinary kitchen. Two kids dash downstairs to collect lunch from Mom, who turns out to be a man with a deli cap and a deep Brooklyn accent. Dad, a British businessman, yanks on his jacket and prepares to head out the door, when Mom goes "Hey -- aren't you forgettin' somethin'?"

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FailWhale Has a Fan Club, AND He Gets the Girl

If you can't fix what's broken, make it a golden calf.

In futile retaliation against users that are defecting in frustration, die-hard Twitter fans erected a site dedicated to FailWhale, the bird-borne character that appears whenever Twitter tanks.

Buy merch, add FailWhale on Twitter or join his Facebook group. Get this: the group is marked "consumer product."

When did failure become a commodity?

In response to the madness, Yiying Lu, the original designer of FailWhale, created Eve Whale. The dreamy FailWhale love interest blows little birds out of her air hole.

You Mean it Builds Buzz AND Kills Plaque?

Check out the Aquafresh interactive mobile, complete with virtual tooth-brushing games and free teeth cleaning duds.

The only thing that would make it cooler would be if you could step inside a giant mouth and bounce on its big foamy tongue while getting slightly high on a fresh-breath smell.

Powerset Purchased, McCain Sells Service, Facebook Shills Advice, Starbucks Shutters Stores

- Microsoft bought Powerset, which is single-handedly trying to bring "natural search" back into vogue. (Frankly, it shoulda died with Jeeves.)

- Oronjo makes funny with McCain. Meh.

- Guess free wi-fi isn't so popular after all -- or maybe it was just too little too late. Starbucks is cutting 12,000 jobs and closing 600 stores. "At this point, management has decided that 2008 is a wash and to throw in everything but the kitchen sink to get ready for growth in 2009 and beyond," said one analyst. 2008 IS A WASH? We're only HALFWAY THROUGH.

- On Fuzzwich, I found a one-eyed hot-dog shaped man. He grew hair right before my eyes. He had very small pants.

- Riffing off the success of its last macro veggie-message, McDonald's launched a wholesome Happy Meal ad depicting kids working the fields to a cheerful whistle. Then the camera pans out to reveal gardens in the shape of chickens and cows. By Leo Burnett.

- Facebook Ads launched a newsletter. Remember, folks: use keywords, stand out, optimize. Uh, thanks.

Philly Does Single-Stream Recycling. Oh Boy

Philly's doing this "single-stream recycling" thing, a convenience ploy to make urbanites more earth-friendly.

Single-stream recycling is when you take all recyclable goods and put them in one bin. We've been doing that in Walnut Creek for years. Here's what ends up happening: everyone disregards the rules and starts putting damn-well whatever they please into those bins.

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NASA Astronauts Talk TV at Zero Gravity

If you've ever wondered what astronauts discuss while floating around doing jack, 72andSunny has the answer: like any other dude at a dive, they're probably talking about TV.

Here are three spots, each of which is for a different Discovery Channel TV show. Guess which promotes what. Answers on AdGabber.

o "I'm gonna go with lunar golf."

o "Y'ever blow up a zeppelin?"

o "Okay, I think we'd call it Money. With an exclamation point. As in 'we're making tons of money,' and 'we're so money at crabfishing'."

One thing I don't get is why the astronauts have Earth for a face. Maybe it's a logo thing. Anyway, it's unsettling.

Foster's Beer SCUBA Can't Be Any Worse than Beer Pong

To promote its Star Trek-caliber bubble-killing beer cans, Foster's gives us Ride the Scuba, where you can leap into a virtual SCUBA tank and pop bloated bubbles.

Enter this email/password to beer SCUBA from your desk: ridethescuba@gmail.com/thankyou. Our connection's pretty slow, so we spent most of our SCUBA time hovering near a Foster's billboard, sort of like dead fish.

The game was put together by the UK's Play. Props to MTLB, who was all, "C'mon, play beer scuba with me, c'monc'monc'mooooon" until we finally said "Fine, but only if we get a peanut tube."

Violet Blue Purged from Boing Boing, Boing Boing Talks Back

Nothing rawks the blog world like a scandale. Here's one for the hour: Boing Boing has been removing posts written by, or in reference to, Violet Blue, a sex columnist for the SF Chronicle.

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Rumors of Polar Bears' Deadliness Are Grossly Exaggerated

The polar bear was recently added to the Department of the Interiors' list of endangered species. In response to this tragedy, National Grid tapped Mullen, who apparently plans to save them by encouraging children to adopt them as pets.

I'm sure Grizzly Man would weep with (either indignation or) longing. Bear envy? Get your own.

Firstborn assisted with the digital components of the campaign.