Agencies Seek Midgets, Exotic Minorities, Handicapped

Here's a series of hilarious, fake recruitment ads from Saatchi, McCann, Berlin Cameron United and TBWA\Chiat\Day. Modeled after actual recruitment ads, these ads quickly show their true colors. McCann wants blind people. Saatchi wants Black and Latinos. TBWA\Chiat\Day wants midgets. And Berlin Cameron United wants women..especially exotic minorities.

See? Even diversity in advertising efforts can be funny.

Hellgate London Proves Less than Hellish

For EA's Hellgate London, Wieden+Kennedy, Portland enlisted production company Biscuit Filmworks to create these spots that remind us of both The Blair Witch Project and the death of LonelyGirl15.

Something about tearing limb from limb and not dying in here. Lots of camera fuzz and shakes. Each spot ends with the conviction-dripping statement, "I'm going to London." Ho hum.

Maybe it's just that threats made in English accents aren't super scary. Sure Snatch had blood and gore, but mainly it was rollicking laughs.

Audi A3 the Prize in City-Wide Cat and Mouse Game

Like a cross between tag and musical chairs, DDB Barcelona and Agosto Productions have created a new commercial for the Audi A3 which pits drivers against would be drivers in the city of Buenos Aires. The goal of the game is to remain the driver of the A3. To do that, the driver must keep moving and away from those who are chasing the vehicle. If the chaser catches the driver, they become the driver and the game continues. During the commercial, chasers use increasingly inventive ways to get the driver to stop including corralling a bunch of kids to cross the street in front of the car. Surely and sadly, in America, some humorless cause group would take issue with that tactic.

No matter, it's a good spot. It shows the car. It has fun. There are no curvy, winding mountain roads. That alone gets it points.

Johnny Lighting Battle Wheels Break Office Monotony

Get your eyes off that intern. Unhand that foosball table. Quit wasting time on Facebook. Stop reading Adrants, Get your ass out of your chair and go buy some Battle Wheels. Recently released by Johnny Lighting, these Transformer-ish things race, spin, crash, charge, crash and generally let you get your aggressions out without having to endure the senseless blood an gore of most online games. Plus, you won't get carpel tunnel syndrome.

SCC Grossman Public Relations was kind enough to send us a pair to fool around with and that we did; continuously until we depleted our supply of batteries. There's five "characters" which come with various body armor attachments and weapons. The goal is simply to knock all the loose parts off the other bot to win. It's simple and it's fun. And, no, they didn't pay us to say that. We just thought you'd have fun racing the things around the office, scaring the shit out of the accounting dweeb in the corner cubicle or mounting a wireless camera on it then parking it under the desk of the hot, new intern.

Hangman Studios Pulls Pr*ck Out for YouTube Audience

Hangman Studios is an interesting company.

Why do we say that? Because we just watched Pr*ck, a stylish, gratuitous piece of self-fellating would-be viral production.

It's circulating YouTube -- or at least making a valiant effort to -- as we speak. The idea is to position Hangman as a "glossy, artistic alternative to the lo-fi joke-oriented virals that saturate online marketing whilst reflecting our offbeat and alternative tastes."

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Kings & Queens Makes Aristocracy of Freaks, Geeks, the Beautiful and Damned

Lest we forget that showers are also battlefields for drawing brand allegiances, Lowe, Athens and Kings & Queens -- makers of shower gel, body oil and 21st Century royalty -- come leaping out of left field to reignite our senses.

This campaign never makes you feel the same sensation twice. See the everyday technocrat turned King Caspar. Watch a retro Nefertiti claim a honey-slathered victim. Catch the demure Chinese Princess experimenting in her lab.

And finally -- the crowning glory -- observe a trailer-made brand of Sheba and Solomon. (The paper crown at rest beside the rollerblades: priceless.)

The logic follows: "It's all about being part of an urban culture that makes you feel like an everyday royalty." Ahh.

Microsoft Scoops Up $240 Million Stake in $15 Billion Facebook, Google Weeps

Late Wednesday, Microsoft announced it has taken a $240 million equity stake in Facebook, recently valued at $15 billion. As part of the deal, Microsoft will increase the scope of its existing ad sales agreement with Facebook. So it seems Microsoft is back in the online ad game. That is until Facebook flames out from hype and overexposure.

Guinness Buries Ad in the Tubes; Will Someone Care Enough to Hunt Down and Launch It?

For Guinness, BBDO decided that instead of freely disseminating ads online or on TV, it would turn its media messages into prizes.

There's a Guinness ad hidden somewhere on the 'net and it is your job to find and launch it. ("Why us?" we wonder.) To do this, you have to unravel a mixed bag of clues, codes and puzzles.

The campaign involves a village of some sort. This is the mayor, Juan Ramon. (We like how you can hear sinister background laughter at the end.)

If the idea of hunting down a Guinness ad is irresistible and you're ready to jump on and go, you may also want to "peruse" (their words) this letter.

Emerald Nuts' Ceiling Crawler Robert Goulet Hospitalized

Robert Goulet, recently of Emerald Nuts Super Bowl ad fame has been hospitalized for the past 22 days in Los Angeles in critical condition. The Tony, Emmy and Grammy winning star suffered shortness of breath a few months ago and was recently diagnosed with Interstitial Pulmonary Fibrosis, a fatal condition. his one chance of survival is a lung transplant.

Here's hoping we see him in yet another Super Bowl ad this year.

Punching Bag-Shaped Kids Help Illustrate Bully Behavior

Incredibly, this ad for Highmark by Mullen serves to remind us of two childhood nightmares: the one where we're alone, friendless and talked-about; and the one about the sinister carnival where clowns eat you. (It's the punching bag thing that does it.)

The spot talks about the impact bullying can have on a child's life. The bottom line is to keep communication open with kids so they have somewhere to run when they're hurting.

That new monster "cyber bullying" is also highlighted. Good to know the child safety gurus are keeping up. It only took them 10 years and the advent of Web 2.0 to realize that rumors fly via text message, too.