Johnson & Johnson Puts Three Billion Up For Grabs

What's going on in agency land these days? Is it just us or has everyone else noticed the plethora of accounts being through into review? Now it's Johnson & Johnson throwing their $3 billion global media buying and planning behemoth into the ring for agencies to fight over.

Chuck Encourages Chucking. What?

We never cease to be perplexed by this running Converse campaign for Chuck Taylors.

"Get Chucked." Isn't chucking slang for spewing the vom? Is this some sort of lame attempt at reappropriating the term? Maybe Converse should talk to the clever societal puppeteers who managed to alter the meanings of "nigga" and "queer."

Royal Enfield Motorcycles Break Ties With Mom

Ah yes, those apron strings do hold us back once in a while but usually not, as in this Royal Enfield Motorcycles commercial, until we are full grown men. OK, so maybe some men never grow up but just go with us here. Our first reaction to this was, "Eew! Gross!" but we soon warmed to the idea even though we aren't too keen on the idea of standing next to Mom while peeing into the urinal. There are just some things in life that become the tipping point, disconnect us from childhood and deliver us powerfully into adulthood. Apparently, Royal Enfield wants us to think their motorcycles are powerful enough to accomplish such a task.

Coin Operated Man Does Research for MS

Think your cube sucks? The mad scientists at Cummins & Partners create a coin-operated scientist to raise money for Multiple Sclerosis Australia.

A man in a white lab coat sits slumped and virtually paralytic inside a booth until curious onlookers pop some coins inside. The scientist then gets to work on little experiments until he feels like the money has run out. In theory, this generates a sense of immediate gratification over having donated X amount to grander scales of research.

The man in the cube is a volunteer who sits and performs science experiments meant for 10-year-olds and up, on-call, for three hour increments. Talk about playing lab rat. And we thought this guy had it bad.

We often wish we could shrink down various scientists, philosophers, slam poets and ex-lovers to keep in little shoebox habitats for use as-needed. This kind of reminds us of that. Really - wouldn't it be awesome to have a coin-operated man just hanging out in the living room? How completely jealous would your friends be?!

Holiday Inn Continues Stupid Man Trend With Cal Ripken Spots

Adding even more to the dumb dad/idiot man trend, these two (1, 2) new commercials for Holiday Inn and its position as Official Hotel of Major League Baseball pit four idiots against Cal Ripken so they can make asses of themselves. Is it really a good thing to portray your potential customer as an idiot and then expect them to hand over their hard-earned dollars to you? We think not. Oh sure, we're not the dumb one. It's that one idiot from left field we can all laugh at so that we can feel better our ourselves. Still, does every man in every commercial have to come off like an idiot? Oh wait, don't answer that. If we make all men smart in commercials, we'll have to stop treating women like eye candy in commercials and that would be a very bad thing. Bring on the dumb dads. Maybe we'll get more ads like this.

Heineken Gets Classy With Beer Babes

Eschewing ill-fitting thong bottoms and bikini tops that struggle unsuccessfully to confine over sized, undulating breasts, Heineken has classed up the beer babe in this new Vidal Partnership-created, Resident effected Heineken Hispanic commercial in which models, elegantly dressed in flowing white dresses, lovingly decorate and present the product to the camera. OMG! We can't take it any longer! Give us back the Coors twins! The Miller Lite Cat Fight Babes! Anything. Please. Wake us up from this nightmare. Oh...wait. This commercial, apart from the already done beer babe fantasy, is actually good. Forget everything we just said.

Mattres Maker Solves Our Obsession With Staying Awake

Damn. Now we're going to have to stop ordering those Venti, no fat, extra shot, no whip, lattes that keep us awake all day and take mattress maker Select Comfort's advice and just go buy one of their beds instead. That's what this McKinney-created commercial is telling us while it gleefully pokes fun at our insanely super sized efforts to stay awake each day. With the tagline, You Can Cure Tired," the campaign urges us crazies to stop spending millions on caffeine and just, well, go to sleep. On a Select Comfort mattress, of course. The campaign, which includes a second spot began airing yesterday in seven markets including Minneapolis, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Orlando, Tucson, Tampa and Denver.

Agency Celebrates 15th With Weird Video

You just never know where the weirdest stuff is going to come from in our whacked industry but an agency in Cleveland you've probably never heard of, Brokaw, has done a stellar job at unleashing weird in this video celebration of its 15th anniversary.

Museums Get Clio's With Lee-O's

After reading through a New York Times article on Museums, CultureGrrl (Lee Rosenbaum) began to focus on the institution's ad campaigns and launched own version of the Clios called Lee-O's to acknowledge each museum's self-promotional prowess. Awarding her Most lame award, Lee wrote, "No serious competition here, either: 'Come for the Weather, Stay for the Art,' from the Los Angeles County Museum. Perhaps it should be, 'Come for the Smog, Stay Stuck in Traffic.'"

Focus Group Company Promotes Services With Cheap Focus Groups

For all you Boston area ad agencies that want to put your work in front of focus groups on the cheap, Bernett Research is offering a 20-30 minute focus group for $1,000. The reason they're doing it is to promote their new Seaport facility. Stacy Graiko is putting it together and if you are interested, you can contact her here: talkback@insight303.com. There. We've done our good deed for the day.