E-Trade Stages Bank Robbery ... By Banks

Because sometimes you do feel raped and pillaged post teller-visit. We're not sure how E-Trade can help considering active investments defeat the idea of just parking money someplace "secure," but whatever. The friendly waves, cuddly animal masks and thank-yous to the hostages were good touches. See the ad here.

Luxury Car Ads Miss Points

The sub-par ads for Lexus and Infiniti we just witnessed are elegant in the usual style but there's not really anything else to them. They're not even all that interesting to look at. Can somebody please explain to these fine retailers what the Super Bowl is and who's watching right now? Can't you laugh at yourself in an ad, or at least make us laugh, once in a whole year?

Men Strip for Chevy HHR Ladies

OK. It's cheesy. It's lame. It's hideous. but we love it. Love it! Call us sick but we love the consumer-created Chevy HHR commercial in which guys turn into street strippers for a couple of women in a car. See the ad here.

Prince Halftime Show Leaves More Than Half to Be Desired

Halftime shows are typically fine if forgettable performances, the only exception in recent memory being Janet and Justin's pop-infused duet which ended ... well, you know how it ended.

Still, we knew we'd have to prepare ourselves for something decidedly cringe-worthy when lightning struck the stage at the opening of the halftime show. And indeed, our expectations were met when Prince appeared swathed in a cobalt blue suit, breezy orange blouse and black doo-rag, on a platform shaped like a fucking ankh, topped off with a menagerie of guitar transitions.

We have to give kudos to a guy who can not only play real mean but successfully set off a bazillion pyrotechnics despite a torrent of rain. Still, there remains a lot to wince about. The stage leaks so much smoke the dancers are not just obscured but nearly asphyxiated. Oh and look, a band with glo-sticks lining their uniforms. And a cover of "Proud Mary" with a very bad Tina Turner stand-in. Can you say lame explosion?

We dig "Purple Rain" and the ankh guitar, plus that gigantic phallic silhouette - nice touch. Prince expectedly pulls off a great if damn pompous production. We simply fail to understand how he can ooze sex, wear purple velour and tote ankhs at the same time, and we also think his music's gone south since the "When Doves Cry" days.

A good safe choice, however. And in Prince's defense, this was a far better presentation than the oft-mentioned "wardrobe malfunction." Unfortunately, nixing the reams of negative press, an FCC-spawned moral crisis, the consequent media chill effect, and a fine bigger than the cost of a house, it's also far more forgettable.

Sierra Mist Does Awkward So Well

Sierra Mist is kicking ass this year. The combover ad. That was just perfectly creepy. And anything involving karate is an automatic winner. Sierra Mist gets thumbs up from us this year.

Sprint Saves from Connectile Dysfunction

It's hard to position broadband ads. You can be like Earthlink, which kind of laughs at the whole idea of marketing in general, and you can be like Comcast, which takes the easy way out with off-colour humour. Or you can make up a disease, kind of like Microsoft, and propose that your product will in fact cure it.

There's a fine art to this tactic. A good rule of thumb: the closer you can get your made-up disease to sound like a sexual disorder, the better. Maybe people will get confused and mistakenly believe you could solve both problems, not just (the invented) one. Cute, Sprint. Cute. See the ad here.

Bummed GM Robot Contemplates Suicide

We imagine robot ennui is a growing problem as our mechanical friends become more complex and prevalent in our every day lives. We're glad GM is raising awareness about this problem early on, as demonstrated in their we're-obsessed-with-quality ad.

The ad didn't bring much of interest to the table but we're always at least a little interested in things, however non-human, that contemplate suicide over something really really trivial. And most things are. So, it's probably safe to say we're pretty generally interested in most people/things that consider offing themselves. Interested enough to report them, anyway. The GM ad didn't otherwise deserve it.

AHA Ad an A-Plus, Even Without Product Mention

A feeble little heart gets attacked and repeatedly mauled by black-clad health threats. Courtesy of the American Heart Association. We liked it after all.

Doritos Sparks Love Affair Between Mustachioed Trucker, Chunky Cashier

Ooh. Doritos just made our skin crawl with their latest commercial featuring a cashier getting progressively hotter and hotter over her trucker-looking customer's choice of chips. The spot ends in an aisle cleanup. You do the math.

And unless there's a wide demographic of married cashiers and truckers, we think this is a total "Sideways" rip-off. There probably are a lot of married cashiers and truckers though. In all probability Doritos may very well be the glue that keeps their love together. Who are we to talk?

Garmin Goes Power Rangers on Our Asses

Garmin gives us a Godzilla throwback with Maposaurus, where a map gets monstrous and a guy uses his GPS to turn into a laser-shooting superhero. Aww. Cute.