NFL Begs Fans for Ad Help

We're convinced we told you this already but since a search through our archives gave us nothing, we're going to call it Deja Vu and tell you again. In an ad that's actually mildly funny, the NFL marketing board decides they need help after tossing around some frail ideas for the next Superbowl. Then the screen is molested by big letters that say PITCH US YOUR IDEA FOR THE BEST NFL SUPERBOWL COMMERCIAL. SERIOUSLY.

We're fans of the whole "involve your audience" thing but wonder if people will start thinking marketers are getting lazy.

Guess there's no harm in that. Once they get comfortable we can pounce on them like super-awesome ninja spider monkeys with our creative prowess, which will hopefully happen sometime before we all lose our jobs and go back to being occasionally witty baristas. - Contributed by Angela Natividad

Hopeless Romantic Raising Money For Super Bowl Proposal Ad

Having already raised $61,931, a "hopeless romantic" has created a site called My Super Proposal where he is trying to raise enough money to buy a Super Bowl commercial in which he will propose marriage to his girlfriend. The URL of the site is, of course, registered anonymously so punditry on whether this is real or the machinations of some brand will have to wait. Acknowledging thaefact there are some pretty dedicated (weird?) people in this world along with mischievous marketers bent on doing the next coolest thing, it could go either way. We'll just have to wait and see.

GoDaddy Needs to Retire Breasts That Don't Bounce

Dear Bob Parsons,

While your infatuation with Candice Michelle is clearly understood, your infatuation with placing her in commercial after commercial is not. We'd be more likely to understand that infatuation if the commercials were actually any good but with each new addition to the collection, the commercials slip further down the hill towards uninteresting mediocrity. It was funny once when Candice couldn't keep her top on. It was mildly funny when she rubbed her boobs against the window while on that window washing scaffolding. But it's hardly funny at all to watch her run through sprinklers across a golf course while an old dude gawks "Oh, the GoDaddy Girl!" Some amount of interests in the spot might occur if Candice's water-soaked breasts actually moved in a manner resembling human physiology rather than that of a plastic surgeon's creation.

That said, the spots wouldn't be any better if Candice were flat or a natural 36DDD. Since the original Super Bowl spot, Bob, an important thing called creativity seems to have eluded you. No doubt Candice is a wonderful person but it's time to move on. The gimmick is dead. It's time to leave the whole bimbo routine behind. Perhaps, with your new GoDaddy Girl, Danica Patrick, the obsession with big, fake breasts will wane. Now, if you want to feature yet another GoDaddy Girl who sports big breasts that actually move while in motion, we might not be so critical. Oh but wait, then we'd simply be perpetuating the stereotype of casting women as objects of desire. We'd never want to do that, right, Bob?

So, Bob, it's really time to move on. It's time for a new approach. Time stop the ogling, the breaking tank top straps, the wet t-shirt runs, the bimbo maneuvers. Oh fuck it. Just go out and build a stable to GoDaddy Girls rivaling the collection of Maxim Girls and you and your business will be gold.

Equally Breast Obsessed,
Steve Hall
Publisher, Adrants

GoDaddy's Daddy Drools For Danica

This really qualifies as old news but since it was overshadowed earlier by Motorola and we were prompted by our monthly GoDaddy email, we'll share with you that GoDaddy has, in addition to Motorola and many others, hooked up with Danica Patrick to sponsor her Andretti Green Racing car. In a video that includes the unveiling of the new #7 Team Motorola IndyCar, GoDaddy CEO Bob Parsons interviews his new "GoDaddy Girl" in a most excruciatingly awkward manner that can only be likened to Joe Simpson obsessing about his daughter Jessica's 34DD's. While Bob reads from cue cards, Danica sits next to him and through her bored demeanor, you can just hear her say, "What the fuck am I doing here with this cheese ball?"

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College Students to Create Chevrolet Super Bowl Commercial

Chevy is amping up its obsession with consumer generated media and has launched a contest for college students to enter competition, create an ad for the company, get it produced and have it air during the Super Bowl in 2007. With teams of three students, the focus will be on the automaker's Aveo, Cobalt, HHR and Equinox. Students will submit their concepts to Chevy and five will be chosen to present to Chevy and its ad agency in the Fall. The winner will participate in production. No mention was made regarding just how much creative control students will maintain once the idea is handed over but we're pretty confident Chevy will be honorable in this area.

Launch of Anheuser-Busch Bud.TV And Bud Tube Confirmed

We knew it was coming. We knew it was only a matter of time. Well, now it's official. Anheuser-Busch, in February 2007, will launch Bud.tv, an online content channel with entertainment, news, celebrity interviews, comedy and sports and Bud Tube, a YouTube-like site whereby people can upload the usual consumer generated media type stuff. The brewer has invested 30 million on the project and content will come from Kevin Spacey, Vince Vaugh, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon-owned production companies as well as from the agencies that currently produce the brewer's advertising. With a February 2007 launch, it's likely we'll see Super Bowl spots promoting the launch - that is if the TV net doesn't see it as too competitive.