Sprint's Shares User Data in Commercial

If ever you wanted a glimpse inside the user behavior of Sprint network phone users, this new commercial from Goodby, Silverstein & Partners and design company superfad will give you all you need.

Funny thing. In the midst of all this data, they never seem to mention how many users experience a call drop in a given day.

Square Booty school Girls Shake Ass For BK Kids Meal

You like big butts? Or is it square butts? Yea, we can envision the exact moment this creative epiphany struck someone down in Miami at a place called Crispin Porter + Bogusky when they dreamt up this SpongeBob Square Pants, Sir Mix-a-Lot mashup up featuring bottylicious dancers shaking their (square) asses. (See the :30 here and the full length music video here.)

We can also envision a five year old walking by Burger King and asking, "Mommy, can we go to Burger King and get some square booty?"

And we can envision the looks mommy will get from passersby wondering just what's going on at home.

Seriously? WTF? Creepy King. Square-booty'd women in school uniforms shaking their ass in a classroom-like setting. Ass measuring. Ass touching.

It's like a porn director's wet dream. Not so much for parents with kids. Here come the cause groups.

Happy Fifth Birthday to Subservient Chicken

Yesterday, Barbarian Group celebrated the fifth birthday of Subservient Chicken, it's brilliant creation which allowed people to type instruction into a website and make a guy dressed in a chicken suit do stuff. It was for Burger King and was done in partnership with Crispin Porter + Bogusky.

In a long blog post on the Barbarian Group website, Co-Founder Rick Web discusses how thw Subservient Chicken idea was born, who was involved in its creation, how it was sold to Burger King, how it was produced, how it was launched, how it spread, how it spawned copycats, the awards it won and how it impacted marketing.

Kudos to TBG and CPB for great work. It will forever have its iconic place in the annals of marketing history.

Sarah Haskins Says Carl's Jr. Turns Men Into DoucheBags

On her new Current show Target Women, Sarah Haskins wonders where men learned to treat women so badly. In a hilarious analysis of Carl's Jr. advertising, Haskins arrives at only logical conclusion; it's unequivocally the burger chain's fault.

Haskin's dubs Carl's Jr. advertising Douchebaggery 101: Embracing Your Inner Douche and proceeds to tear down the chain's ad campaign while explaining how it make men...well...douchebags.

Special bonus: Haskins tries to wash a car Paris Hilton-style with decidedly less grace provong the point all advertising is fake anyway.

The best line in the video comes when Haskins describes guys as, "Good natured DoucheBros who eat fries like they're at a DoucheBag party about to win the award for DoucheKing of the Douche-O-Trons." Wow.

Irish Bank Think Brutal Truth the Best Policy

Oh yes, indeed. Life is most certainly more "interesting" when you tell the truth. That's the premise of this "The Truth" campaign for Ireland-based bank, RaboDirect. In these trying financial times, people want honesty, transparency and the brital truth. And that's what they get in this video campaign for the bank.

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Joan and Melissa Rivers Fail Miserably in All Detergent Videos

WTF? What is wrong with Joan River's face? Could it be any more stretched out? Damn. It looks like it hurts! Whatever. If it weren't for her freakishly manipulated face, there'd be no reason to watch her in this Celebrity Apprentice Guess That Stain video for All detergent. Lame. Lame. Lame.

Daughter Melissa, on the other hand, at least has a real face (well, accept maybe for those lips) in her role as the laundry fairy in a second version All's Rivers & Rivers videos. Still. Lame. Lame. Lame.

Again, just our opinion. You can check them out here and let us know.

iGRP to Bring Online Video and TV Metrics Together

Social media types and those leading the charge toward the new world of advertising aren't going to like this one. YuMe, in partnership with MindShare, has introduced the iGRP or Internet Gross Rating Point, a metric allowing advertisers the ability to compare their online video metrics with their offline television metrics.

OK, OK, so it's really not that bad. After all, everyone wants to be able to measure, right? But many will say this is just forcing old metrics on a new medium that really deserves its own set of metrics.

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There's No PMS in Fairy Tales!

While we don't speak Spanish and can't understand all the words in this California Milk Processor Board commercial, the message is clear: a glass of milk can cheer you up on a bad day. We could use a gallon right about now.

In this commercial, created by Grupo Gallegos and animated by Psyop, a prince saves the day as a Princess' mood reeks havoc across her world. It's a grand gesture and one that's best experience without actually understanding the words. Because if you did, you'd realize the whole thing is a metaphor for the Princess' PMS and how milk lessens that monthly blow.

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Chemistry.com Takes More Piss Out of eHarmony.

Because Chemistry.com can no longer poke and prod at any blatant sexual discrimination on eHarmony's part, it's decided to produce a banner about how eHarmony's still a bigot, even if it's been forced to launch a homosexual dating site.

Chem, get over yourself.

Oh, and in case anybody forgot: Chemistry.com is a Match.com company. From the moment it launched, it would appear its entire raison d'etre is to kick shins without making Match look bad. And that's not to say eHarmony doesn't deserve a little shit for making life harder for our same-sex-love chums; that's to say this ongoing haterade campaign had its day, and the day's done.

Alaska Airlines Shames Touchless Bathroom Technology

Isn't bathroom technology great? Urinals that flush themselves. Automated faucets. Automated soap dispensers. Hand-wave controlled towel dispensers. It all sounds like a germaphobe's wet-dream, right? Except for when these wonders of technology don't work. Which is like...all the time.

Alaska Airlines, with help from agency WONGDOODY (oh damn there is such a good bathroom humor joke in there), has launched a new campaign called North of Expected. The campaign juxtaposes bathroom technology FAIL with Alaska Airlines technology success and why the airline is so great because of it.

Supporting the television commercial are radio, newspaper, outdoor, transit and web.

Oh, and before we forget. Thank you Alaska Airlines. Thank you for taking us back to one of our earliest rants ever here on Adrants. Z-Fold FTW!